I feel lucky. The depression that plagued me during the 90s has not resurfaced for more than eight years. Since those dark days I have married, had a child and, in the past six months, become reinvolved in my old passion, politics, as well as continuing my psychotherapy practice. My life may have the usual stresses and worries, but it is absorbing and fulfilling. In short, I have achieved the happiness that seemed an impossible goal a decade ago.
Yet whatever else goes on in my life, I always yearn for those calmer parts of the week that are set aside for my patients. Those sessions are sacrosanct.
That isn't just because it's professional to maintain that commitment and focus. It is also because, however frustrating and slow psychotherapy can sometimes be, it is also the most deeply satisfying thing I do. Not just because it's about helping people, but because of the rich way that forming such a close connection with someone else uses my own mind.
My motivation for first entering therapy in 1998 was simple. The depression that had dogged me for two years, and been only partially lifted by antidepressants, had become even more debilitating. I had ceased to be able to function, and though I never seriously considered suicide, it flitted across my mind as a way out.
The patients I have seen since are not always suffering so severely, but something is always profoundly wrong: a gnawing sense of anxiety that never goes away; ongoing misery or listlessness; an inability to enjoy good relationships; a lack of satisfaction; a dependence on alcohol, drugs or work to feel good. All too often it is a self-reinforcing cocktail of all of this.
The guiding principle that underlies the therapy I practice and the writing I do around it is simple: if we know ourselves and others better, we end up living calmer and more contented lives. It is possible, using these insights, to worry less, feel happier and relate better.
For me, it took the booming wake-up call of depression to force me to re-evaluate my life.
Looking back, I wish my mind had been more open to the kind of ideas and resources you'll find in these pages.
One thing I discovered as I accepted quite how broken I was emotionally, and began to heal, is that we don't, any of us, have the answers on our own, but that years of psychological discovery has provided at least some of them. I know they changed my life - my understanding of myself and of those around me. Now you can see whether they might change yours.
• Derek Draper gained an MA in psychology after three years full-time training at the Wright Institute, Berkeley, California
