Personally, I blame In Style. And Grazia and OK! and Closer and, most of all, E!, the American TV channel whose entire raison d'etre is asking bored celebrities on red carpets what the label says in the back of their strapless floor-length dress.
Most people now accept that film awards ceremonies are at least as much about the frocks as they are about the films. Partly, this is because fashion has become such a ubiquitously covered subject but I suspect it is also because most people would rather look at a photo of Kate Winslet looking gorgeous in a black dress than endure two hours of her finest German accent in The Reader.
The upshot is that winning or losing is almost irrelevant now. It's how you look that counts. That Angelina lost - again - to Winslet won't dent her clout a jot. If she had turned up looking like a sack of potatoes she'd have been in far more trouble. Instead, her black and yellow number by Armani Privé, while a bit minimalist bumblebee for my taste, was acceptably innocuous and didn't involve her laying an egg on the red carpet while dressed as a swan. And film companies around the world breathe a sigh of relief.
Celebrities have become so cowed by the enduring power of photos of Celine Dion in her back-to front tux at the 1999 Oscars and others of that ilk that every year they play it increasingly safe, ie increasingly boring.
Last year, nude was the favoured colour at awards ceremonies. Everyone has now realised this is quite unflattering, and so most retreated to the safest shade of all - black. That the only women who dared to wear colour were, on the one hand, someone who had probably never been to an awards ceremony before (Freida Pinto) and one who is so clueless about protocol she recently managed to insult the whole of China (Sharon Stone), shows how instinctive this fade to black was.
Tellingly, Penelope Cruz and Kate Winslet looked like they were wearing the same dress. They weren't - one was by Alaia, the other was Zac Posen - but the similarities between them showed how awards dressing has now been distilled to a formula: long, black, body-fitting with some pointless detail on top. Poor Winslet now appears to be too scared to stray beyond this pattern, seeing as she reaches for the Little Mermaid dress shape every time she spies a red carpet.
Only the men seemed to feel free to have some fun, with Steve McQueen going for a kilt and Mickey Rourke looking reliably daffy with a belt and chain.
At the Grammys, on the other hand, there was a tale of two extremes. On the one hand, there was Adele in a boring black cocktail dress - exemplifying the power of fashion magazines these days as she was styled by Anna Wintour. On the other was MIA, getting jiggy on stage on her due date in an utterly fabulous semi-maternity outfit by UK designer Henry Holland. Guess who immediately got the most style plaudits on the web?
Penelope Cruz
Marks out of 10 for risk taking: 0
This Alaia dress is so dull it manages to make Penelope Cruz, one of the world's most beautiful women, look almost run-of-the-mill.
Kate Winslet
Marks out of 10 for risk taking: 1
The red Ben de Lisi dress Kate Winslet wore in 2002: hot. This over-dependence on body-fitted, hourglass shapes (this is by Zac Posen) that emphasise the groin area: not.
Mickey Rourke
Marks out of 10 for risk taking: 7
The man was in Wild Orchid and he raises pugs - subtle taste is not what we ask for from Mickey Rourke. This look, by Dolce & Gabbana, is excellent for a Nashville singer.
Emma Watson
Marks out of 10 for risk taking: 3
Is 18 too young for designer dresses? Many say yes but this Temperley gown treads a nice line between glamorous and girly. A Chanel contract may beckon for Emma Watson.
Marion Cotillard
Marks out of 10 for risk taking: 8
God bless the French and their total disregard for flattering dress shapes. The dress Marion Cotillard wore is fabulous and it's Dior couture, so suck it up, InStyle.
Freida Pinto
Marks out of 10 for risk taking: 4
Remember when you were five and it was your birthday party and you wanted to dress like a fairy princess? So does Freida Pinto, and Oscar de la Renta helped her realise the dream.
Angelina Jolie
Marks out of 10 for risk taking: 4
Angelina Jolie's taste leaves something to be desired. Her sack dress at the SAG awards was weird, this Armani Prive sheath is forgettable. Kudos for not going floorlength, though.
Sharon Stone
Marks out of 10 for risk taking: 8
Ta da! There was truly no better way for Sharon Stone to return from that unfortunate China thing than in a red Dior dress.
Gemma Arterton
Marks out of 10 for risk taking: 6
I don't like this Dior dress. But I suspect Gemma Arterton opted for a polo neck due to tabloid allegations that she has a double chin. She doesn't. She's gorgeous.
Meanwhile, over at the Grammys ... M.I.A
You're due to give birth, like, tonight. So do you put on a tent from Mothercare or, like M.I.A, get on stage with Jay-Z with only polka-dots preserving your modesty? Like, duh!
