Sexy hardback: what will the Justin Timberlake autobiography be like?

With the pop star’s new book, Hindsight & All the Things I Can’t See in Front of Me, on its way, here are some (imagined) extracts

Recording It’s Gonna Be Me, ‘NSync

When I first sang, “It’s gonna be MAY!”, I remember the guys from ‘NSync being like: “Justin, you are the greatest, you’re the best in the band, we can’t hold a candle to your talent, but maybe this time you got it wrong, it might be pronounced ‘me’.” I said: “Guys, often my mistakes are my most artistic moments, let’s leave it in.” Hahaha. It was a lot of fun, everyone said so. But ever since I sang it, May has been the crazy most important month for me. When I had nodules on my throat, they did the operation to remove them in May 2005. When I did the voice for the handsome Prince Artie Pendragon in Shrek the Third, it came out in May 2007 in the US. My most successful and most annoying song, Can’t Stop the Feeling!, was released in May 2016. It’s like, I said it’s going to be May, and then May became may (which is still how I say me).

The truth about my relationship with Britney Spears

It’s crazy. One day we were just two precocious teenagers competing to see who could become famous first, the next we were all over the tabloids as the most famous celebrity couple in the whole of Planet Hollywood. It was like the tabloids became my mirror, my mirror staring back at may. Honestly, we don’t stay in touch but I still vibe from her as a person, I think she has a beautiful soul, and I wish her all the best. I will say that she smells. Really bad, like a damp towel that’s been left on the floor that a maid has forgotten to pick up. But we’re both doing great: I’m doing my thing - touring with Jay-Z, headlining the Super Bowl, an Emmy-winning, Oscar-nominated quadruple threat – and she’s performing for white-wine wasted hen parties in Vegas, 400 shows a year. It’s great for her.

The Janet Jackson boob thing

Honestly, by the time of the Super Bowl I’d seen loads of boobies, so I didn’t think flipping one more out on y’all would be a big issue. I guess Janet really took the heat for it, I kind of ruined her career maybe? Which I feel so so bad about, but you can’t change what’s happened, you’ve just got to move forward with it, which I was able to do extremely easily. It’s a shame she couldn’t do the same.

My success on Saturday Night Live

Even though I’m not an official cast member I feel like one. It’s been a great chance to poke fun at myself, and show that even though I’m an artist, I can still take a joke ha ha ha, hilarious. I love working with Andy Samberg and Jimmy Fallon who have both said on record that I’m their coolest friend. In the future I’d like to work more on my impressions, I can do a great Michael Jackson and even sing like him, not many people know that.

The Social Network

It’s huge for me to be in my first Oscar-winning film, I would say to people while we were filming The Social Network. I initially auditioned for the role of the Winklevoss twins, because I thought it would be rad to play against myself, kind of like the ultimate challenge, in acting, but Aaron Sorkin preferred me for Sean Parker, the preening, fame-obsessed boss of Napster, which was also fine. Aaron loves it when you improvise. I mean it seems like he doesn’t, but he does. I had this line – “A million dollars isn’t cool, you know what’s cool: a billion dollars” – and in one of the takes I was like: “You know what’s cool: a quazillion dollars, PSYCHE.” It was pretty dope, I could tell everyone was like, wow that’s so much more than a billion, but in the end they went with the line in the script.

Designing a range for Levi’s

It was dope for me to do a line for Levi’s. I’ve always considered my style to be kinda like “guy who paid $3,000 to go to a course by a pick-up artist and then got picked up afterwards by his mom” so it was cool a brand like Levi’s wanted to get on board with that. For example, for my song Flannel, I made a flannel shirt. For my song Sauce, I made a hipflask with the word “Sauce” on it. A fantastic way to extended my artistry.

Contributor

Sam Wolfson

The GuardianTramp

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