The London Olympics has officially started, albeit only in the sense that most British events can be said to have begun the moment people start queuing politely. It is now possible to pre-register for tickets for the 2012 games and the organisers are braced for a surge of interest in the glamour events of track and field. But if you simply want to see some Olympics – any Olympics – you might have better luck outside the Stratford mainstream. Why not try one of these? And if any of them grab you, go to ww.tickets.london2012.com.
Archery at Lord's
Watch people shooting arrows at the home of cricket. Four gold medals up for grabs and a chance to enjoy prolific on-site liquid hospitality in view of the world's most revered stretch of urban turf. Should be fine as long as everyone stays off the grass. And the nursery pitches. And the pavilion. And the members area.
Shooting in Woolwich
The Royal Artillery Barracks will host the pistol, rifle and shotgun events – a late bid for a regionally flavoured pit-bull attack-dog event presumably having been rejected by the IOC. Marvel at the unerring Chinese. Or simply enjoy the glamour of the barracks' epic facade.
Dressage in Greenwich Park
Horses doing minutely choreographed turns and trots in the first enclosed royal park, originally Henry VIII's personal hunting ground and now occupied mainly by lager-swilling emo teenagers and an overwhelming number of dreadlocked Australians trying to sell you a beaded anklet.
Fencing at Excel
Enjoy people in masks trying to stab each other at London's shiniest exhibition centre. One of the great courtly European sporting contests, re-imagined in a paperclip salesman convention amphitheatre.
Mountain biking at Hadleigh Farm
An event in only its fifth Olympics and installed, perhaps recklessly, amid the conflicting attractions of a site of special scientific interest for invertebrates. Beijing had its billion dollar pyrotechnics. But did it have an on-site Salvation Army tea shop?
