Tory leadership race: the triumphs and turkeys

With nominations open and confessions coming thick and fast, we look at what kind of week the candidates have had

Quote of the week

‘It was a mistake. I look back and I think, I wish I hadn’t done that’
Michael Gove on his cocaine admission

Tweet of the week

Any leadership campaign which interrupts me during #LoveIsland will be subjected to a vicious and just the right side of plausible smear campaign. You have been warned #leavemealone
Tory MP Paul Masterton gets his priorities straight

Endorsement of the week

Chris Grayling, the cabinet minister whose rap sheet of cock-ups is second only to the man likely to become the next prime minister, initially held back from supporting any of the contenders. The race was on to avoid the support of the man whose probation reforms were so cack-handed that they forced a Tory government to embrace renationalisation.

The candidates must have been mulling over what they could offer Grayling to dodge his backing. Defence? Chancellor? A timeshare in Buckingham Palace and naming rights for the Scilly Isles? But late on Saturday, it emerged that Boris Johnson had drawn the short straw and won the transport secretary’s backing. How this will affect Johnson’s chances is yet to be seen.

There was also the rare sight of a Fox (Liam) backing a Hunt (Jeremy) – but then masochism has been an early feature of this painful campaign.

Claim of the week

The contest’s self-proclaimed Brexiter-in-chief, Dominic Raab, identified the next phase of Brexit meltdown by refusing to rule out suspending parliament in order to secure a no-deal Brexit. It is part of a wider effort by Brexiters to find the most absurd irony possible in their quest to set British democracy free from the shackles of European servitude. It is not yet clear how temporarily parking parliament, having become prime minister after a vote among 120,000-odd Tory members, hands power back to British democracy. I’m sure all will become clear.

Gaffe of the week

After his shock announcement that he was “probably not” a feminist, Raab further endeared himself to female colleagues by insisting he helps “pick up the slack at home”.

He was pipped to the post though, by Michael Gove’s admission that he had taken cocaine “on several occasions at social events more than 20 years ago”, while a young journalist.

It confirms this contest’s status as the most drug-fuelled leadership race in history, though Gove’s effort was both less imaginative than Rory Stewart’s Iranian opium pipe and less on-brand than Jeremy Hunt’s Conservative-friendly cannabis lassi.

With increasing talk of a consensus around loosening drug laws, Gove’s admission may not be the devastating slip that it might once have been. Yet in a race decided by Tory members, he may have contrived to disgust the few people left in the country who may actually still care.

Good week

Self-awareness. It is a quality that hasn’t had so much as a look-in so far during this fight, but it made an appearance when Kit Malthouse revealed not only that he was a Tory MP, but that he was pulling out of the race to be the next prime minister. In a triumph for nominative determinism, James Cleverly also pulled out of the race, narrowing the number of candidates from a stampede to a mere glut.

Bad Week

Gove’s drugs admission was his second setback of the week. He was also hit with the backing of Tory grandee Oliver Letwin, famed for coming up with brilliant policy ideas and leaving them in bins in public parks. An endorsement from Letwin, a man who once let a burglar into his own home, does not necessarily inspire confidence.

It’s also been a bad week for anyone who likes outdated institutions like schools, hospitals, or anything that requires actual money. Various candidates have been pledging Tory-friendly tax cuts that won’t be great for fans of public services.

The candidate markets

UP: Jeremy Hunt
MPs suggested he performed best in hustings, while he secured the surprise support of pro-Brexit cabinet minister Liam Fox.

UP: Boris Johnson
The frontrunner hasn’t imploded. Yet.

DOWN:
Andrea Leadsom
Her campaign has never really got going.

DOWN: Michael Gove
Having experienced life’s highs, Gove ends the week on a low.

Contributor

Michael Savage

The GuardianTramp

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