For someone who has spent the better part of their adult life arguing the merits of Sonic the Hedgehog, the platforming hero of the Sega Mega Drive era, the trailer for the character’s forthcoming movie is like a 200mph slap in the face. What is so bad about the three-minute teaser unleashed on Tuesday afternoon by Paramount Studios? Where to begin?
Is it that Sonic resembles a cheap knock-off Sonic toy your child might win at a fairground stand and then be terrified of (“Daddy, please get it out of my room”)? Is it that Jim Carrey as Dr Robotnik looks like Hercule Poirot crossed with Neo from The Matrix? Is it the laboured idiocy of the whole “save Sonic, save the world” set-up, in which the ratty-looking hedgehog arrives on Earth, sends the US government into a panic, and is befriended by a San Francisco cop played by X-Men actor James Marsden? Why does he have human teeth and nails?
As a 25-year Sonic fan, this is the worst thing that’s happened to me since Sonic Labyrinth on the Sega Game Gear. To be honest, I wasn’t too hopeful when the concept of a live-action Sonic movie was first announced by Sony back in 2016, with Deadpool director Tim Miller as executive producer and visual effects whiz Jeff Fowler set to helm his first picture. Then, somehow, Sony thought better of the whole thing, and Paramount picked it up, retaining the creative team and the live-action concept. “It’s by the team behind Fast and Furious,” they yelled, and that made a sort of twisted sense.
But at the same time, Detective Pikachu, another combination of live-action film and fluffy CGI creatures, was announced and we all had to accept this was going to be a thing now. But while the trailers of Rob Letterman’s Pokémon film have attracted interest and support, Sonic the Hedgehog is unlikely to fare so well. There are scenes of Sonic running fast down a road, Sonic making unfunny quips, Sonic dodging missiles – all things we’d expect; but the acting, script and production values all scream early-90s straight-to-video cash-in.
Watching this trailer for the second or third time, veterans of the console wars will no doubt be reminded of another bizarre video game to cinema translation: Super Mario Bros The Movie. The 1993 disaster featured Dennis Hopper in a quasi-futuristic outfit not entirely dissimilar to Carrey’s, and that film had exactly the same kind of misguided, manic energy (Carrey appears to be toe-curlingly faxing in a greatest hits package of his previous performances). Until now, most people regarded that terrible film as the worst video game tie-in of all time. Sonic has always sought to go one better than his arch nemesis, Mario – but this is one battle none of his fans wanted him to win.
