Burnley v Chelsea: Premier League - as it happened

Otherwise, thanks all for you company and comments - sorry I couldn’t use them all. Enjoy what’s left of your weekends.

That was a very enjoyable game, in the first hour especially - “an advert for the Premier League,” I’m sure someone will revelate. Chelsea started superbly, but Burnley personalitied their way back in, had a brilliant chance to go in front before half-time, and then defended superbly in the second half.

So, Chelsea go ten points clear at the top, a lead that will be cut to eight should Manchester City win at Bournemouth tomorrow. Burnley move above Watford, and now sit twelfth.

90+3 min On the touchline, Conte is bullying his men forward, but short of humping it long, with no one to really hump it at, there’s not much his players haven’t tried.

90+3 min That said, Barton was instrumental in Burnley fighting their way back into the game.

90+2 min Keane is Carragher’s man of the match, and that seems a solid decision to me.

90 min There shall be four additional minutes.

89 min A long ball hits Cahill on the back and Vokes can’t quite put the breaks on in time to escape. But he can stab into the path of Barnes and ahead of Luiz, so Fabregas fouls and accepts the yellow card.

88 min Willian picks up the ball deep in his own half and twinkles clear at great pace, so Barton runs through him at cost of a yellow card. “Scouse kiss,” muses James Carragher in commentary.

87 min Change for Chelsea: Pedro off, Batschuayi on.

86 min Chelsea have run out of ideas; Burnley have nowhere near run out of gumption.

84 min Willian attacks down the right as Chelsea push for the winner, cutting back a low cross that Keane can only backflick away. But Boyd does superbly to close down the loose ball and send it back to Heaton.

83 min A shot from outside the box hits Arfield, is blocked, and loops up into the air, spinning towards Pedro. Keane, caught the wrong side, does very well again to crowd his man while taking care not to foul, and earns his side a goalkick.

82 min Change for Burnley: Andre Gray, who’s been a mither all afternoon, is replaced by Sam Vokes.

80 min Burnley haven’t created much these last ten minutes - I wonder if Dyche regrets the change he made - but Arfield bundles into a couple of challenges inside the box, left-hand side, only for the ball to run through for Courtois.

79 min “Chelsea being able to bring Willian on is a bit like a side like Chelsea being able to bring a player like William on,” observes Ian Copestake.

I know, it’s amazing how some of the ones with money have more than eleven useful ones. I believe this evens itself out over the course of a season.

78 min Another ball into the box, another header clear by Michael Keane.

77 min Lowton rattles in the back of Costa and is booked.

76 min Chelsea playing this 4-4-2 is laudable, risking defeat to nab victory, but they’re light in midfield and Luiz is drawn out to help, is shoved off the ball by Gray. He claims a foul, and when Kevin Friend tells him otherwise, earns a booking for dissent.

75 min “Is it silly of me to suggest that Chelsea might become an even more formidable force next season if they upgrade their wing-backs?” asks Matt Loten. “Don’t get me wrong, Moses and Alonso have performed admirably considering I don’t think either would be Conte’s choice for their roles were the manager given carte blanche to choose from Europe’s finest full-backs. However, I would take Danny Rose and Kyle Walker from Spurs in a heartbeat, to name just two alternatives. Moses is full of running and puts opposition wingers and full-backs on the back foot, but his crossing and finishing are erratic; Alonso is consistent and more defensively solid, but doesn’t stretch defences in the way the best attacking wing-backs do. Just a thought, and I’m sure some will disagree, but I wouldn’t be surprised to see a couple of new faces in these key slots come September.”

I agree - I was just saying that so well has Conte deployed his resources, it can be hard to imagine anyone fitting in better.

74 min Chelsea step it up and Pedro pulls wide in the box, laying back for Fabregas, who’s made a difference to the flow of things. But here, he wipes his foot across the ball and slices well wide.

72 min Change for Chelsea, Willian replacing Moses, and Chelsea go to a back-four,Willian playing wide-right and Pedro wide-left.

71 min Arfield is lax with a clearance, picking out Hazard on the edge of the box; he lifts a shot over the top.

70 min Louis van Gaal sold Michael Keane to keep Paddy McNair, and also shifted Jony Evans to retain the admittedly-improving Marcos Rojo. Er, ok.

69 min Fabregas makes two or three quick, forward passes as soon as he comes on, and then Westwood gives the ball away to Costa, who bursts forward. So Westwood trots across to trip him, earning himself a yellow card; free-kick Chelsea, left of centre, 40 yards out. Fabregas is behind it, lifting into the middle, but Keane - who had a dodgy first half - is up in commanding fashion to head clear.

67 min Change for Chelsea: Fabregas replaces Matic. Or, put another way, the conversations I imagined the Chelsea players having in their heads are not being had in Antonio Conte’s head.

66 min So, that looks like an attacking move from Burnley. In the stand, with Brady off, Roy Keane turns on his heel and leaves - why would he fancy watching a great game when he reinforce his reputation instead?

64 min Off goes Robbie Brady - he scored a brilliant free-kick on his first Burnleyt start, did you know? - and on comes Arfield.

62 min Scott Arfield is getting ready to come on, and in true Roberto Duran-style, he takes off his training tops. Actually, it’s the precise opposite of this.

61 min But here’s Kante, middle of the pitch and just beyond the centre-circle, feeding Azpilicueta to his right. With no one coming to close down, he wallops a shot that zooms only just over the bar.

60 min Chelsea would take 1-1 here, as far as the imaginary conversations they’re having in their heads tell me. What a tribute that is to Burnley.

57 min Burnley are right on top of Chelsea here, finding more routes around their outside than any other team. Another crossfield pass, from right to centre, is won by Barnes, and Luiz is fortunate to bump it against his shin and back to Courtois.

55 min “Re: 36 min Let’s see if I can type this: Joey Barton is playing very well indeed,” emails Harvey Kelly.

“Personally, I’ve always rated him as a footballer, and have a sneaky suspicion that if he hadn’t gone to Marseille then QPR might not have gotten relegated in 2012. And, I remember watching a Marseille-PSG game that season where he was absolutely superb against one of the best midfields in Europe.”

Didn’t he get sent-off in the last game? I agree, he’s a reasonable playe - though not as good as he seems to think. It was not his attitude that stopped him doing better, though that is also part of being good.

53 min “A mistake by Mee!” says Martin Tyler, tempting viewers to recall his friendship with Andy Gray. But they do not, watching as Burnley’s centre-back misses his header, Costs nips in, and picks across the face of goal before firing into the 17 bodies which immediately close him down.

51 min “I seem to have stumbled across the eighties,” emails Ian Copestake. “Indeed I had wondered where they had got to. Did you dream of Shake n’ Vac and now need to vent your way back into the glorious present? I feel used.”

I’m fighting back against the current onslaught of nineties nostaliga.

49 min Burnley maintain the pressure, Luiz forced to head over his own bar after Boyd does well down the right. The flag is up for offside, but it really does not matter: Chelsea know they’re tottering.

47 min I’d be surprised if Chelsea were as open this half, ah ha ha ha! As I type the previous, Burnley break, Cahill sells himself short, and Barnes lollops free, breaking past halfway and sliding across a pass for Gray that’s easy for Luiz to cut out. Except he’s forgotten that he’s new Luiz and allows it through his legs, only for Gray to sweep a tame shot too close to Courtois.

46 min “The wearing of caps,” begins James Galloway. “Larry David - and George Costanza, of course - wear a cap at times. Maybe it’s a bald guy thing, and Conte sometimes, you know, forgets?”

I don’t understand. Conte has a luscious mop of shaggy locks the envy of us all. And amazing eyes.

46 min Once more into the void, dear friends.

Out come the players.

“Talking of teams with B’s what about the West Ham teams of the 60s,” recalls Chris Walker, “including Bond, Brown, Burkett, Boyce, Brabrook, Bovington (and later Bonds and Brooking and I’ve forgotten a couple!)”

You have - Boore and Beters.

“I’m curious as to what MBMers do during half time,” emails Ravi Raman. “Does the Guardian Towers lay out cakes and gateaux, cheese platters, wine - red, white and bubbly? What do the writers sustain themselves with apart from emails?”

80s adverts, mainly. But also some green juice, lentils, mung beans and chia seeds.

Commercial break:

All that bumph and guff about the Premier League reaching the parts other leagues can’t? Well that was it, right there: a fast, skilful, tough half, featuring two excellent and different goals, nasty weather, and a promoted team nausing the champions-elect right up. See you in fifteen for seconds.

45+1 min Again, Burnley overload down the right, this time Lowton picking up the ball. But Alonso does very well to insinuate himself into the situation, stabbing the ball safe.

45+1 min There shall be one added minute.

45 min Burnley are finding that space down the sides, and a long free-kick, aimed from left-to-right, is sidefooted back across by Kante. If anyone’s there to attack it, Chelsea have a problem, but instead, Kante is able to larrup clear.

43 min Somehow, despite the wind and sleet, Pedro has not a hair out of place. Incredible scenes.

43 min Thus Spake Diegocosta would make a good name for a book.

40 min Barton is down, so Costa galumphs 30 yards to wish him better. Oh man, I’d pay good wishes to see that materialise into a glorious set-to.

39 min “All her ‘culture of the self’ guff and nonsense seeping into the Guardian MBM too?” asks Mark Turner “Ugh. Personally I don’t even need to see him play these days, just seeing the words ‘Joey Barton’ is enough to bring images of Kevin Kline as Otto in A Fish Called Wanda.”

Yes, even John Cleese is a liberal these days.

36 min Let’s see if I can type this: Joey Barton is playing very well indeed. There. He picks up possession from Boyd, just outside the box, down the right, and slides a perfect, first-time pass down the side of Cahill that also misses out Kante - and Lowton is in! He steadies himself, draws back his foot, and shoots low ... but too close to Courtois, who kicks clear! Then Chelsea break with alarming speed, Pedro finding Hazard at inside-left and moving out of the road, but Mee is across double-fast to nip the ball away. This is a breathless and excellent game.

35 min Chelsea are reasserting themselves, pulling Burnley wide and looking to slide quick, low passes back inside. But Burnley are coping much better now.

34 min Is there an age after which a baseball hat becomes undignified? Because Antonio Conte is wearing one, and though it sets off his eyes, I can’t help but feel it needs to go in the bin, forthwith. I say this as someone who thinks that shorts, hoodies and flip-flops are never unacceptable attire.

33 min This game has surprised me, I must say. Given the quality of defensive organisation on both sides, I imagined things would be far less frantic.

32 min “Burnley have four players in their team whose surname begins with B,” analyses Mark Judd. “Just thought I’d mention it.”

MAKES YOU THINK.

30 min Burnley are causing Chelsea some problems here. Chelsea may often look to counter, but when they do, they do so in numbers, which gives opponents an opportunity to turn the tables when the move breaks down. Or, put another way, Burnley are Chelseaing Chelsea.

29 min Burnley are buzzing, Barton picking up a loose ball on halfway and curving a low pass for Gray into the channel. Luiz, heavily strapped, can’t get there, and a low cross presents a wonderful opportunity for a tap-in, except it all happened too quickly for anyone else to catch up with play.

28 min The crowd are up and Burnley pump the ball forward towards Barnes. Sensing Azpilicueta coming in behind him, he raises and gently flings and elbow, which earns him a talking-to.

26 min “Ayn Rand wrote, ‘Money is so noble a medium that it ...does not make terms with brutality.’ That’s Joey Barton out of the game.”

Come on - as we all know, Barton is Nietzschean all the wall.

23 min Cahill nods clear but sells Matic short, so when Barton bursts onto the loose ball, a foul gives Burnley a free-kick ten yards outside the box, just left of centre. Barton and Brady both fancy it....

22 min If Jose Mourinho was capable of embarrassment, he’d surely feel embarrassed watching this Chelsea team.

21 min Chelsea look dangerous every time they attack, Azpilicueta coming forward and contriving a shooting opportunity for Pedro - his effort is blocked.

19 min But this is nice from Burnley, Barton finding Barnes and Barnes playing into Boyd, just outside the box and left of centre. Barnes then lays infield, back into the path of Barnes, and he slides into a shot that lifts the ball over the top.

18 min Chelsea do a phenomenal job of stretching the pitch, given they play with only four in midfield and only two wide players. You can see the spaces to get at them, but getting the ball, putting it there, and getting to the ball, is something else.

16 min “I like Sean Dyche nearly as much as Danny Dier,” writes Piers Gee. “Always wonder if the endearing post-match growl is a result of the shouting, or if he always sounds as if he escaped from the muppet show. If the management career falters (and I hope it doesn’t), there’s always cartoon voiceovers. I never email in, but being stuck at home, ill, will do funny things to you.”

Emailing in is cool, no need to caveat - you’ll be cock o’ the playground tomorrow.

15 min Guess what! Joey Barton has fouled Eden Hazard! This time, the ref gives him a warning, and Hazard’s next touch is a delectable first-time backheel into Costa. Nothing comes of it, but Chelsea are purring.

13 min “In that clip, with his accent, it almost sounds like Conte asks, ‘Who is John Galt?’” emails Matt Dony. “I would kind of like that to be true. I dislike Chelsea, but Conte seems so damn likeable. Finding out he’s a fan of Ayn Rand would allow me to hate him quite happily.”

It’s hard to say, but given how his teams play, and his amazing eyes, I’m assuming he’s a socialist.

11 min But Burnley aren’t giving up, piling down the right, and Boyd cuts back looking for Barnes. Immediately, he’s surrounded by a phalanx of defenders and Chelsea break; Barton fouls Costs and Westwood has a shy at Hazard, who is in some pain. Eventually, he gets up, and a ponytailed David Luiz drags a low shot straight at Heaton.

9 min “We’re gonna win the league,” sing the away fans. They might just have a point.

6 min Lovely from Costa, dropping deep and swivelling as Keane can’t decide whether to follow or stay. That moment of indecision is all it takes for a perfect pass to be slid into the path of Hazard, bouncing through the middle. But he doesn’t get hold of his shot properly, and Heaton dives to save. Great chance.

5 min “Is it just me or does Sean Dyche look very like The Puzzler in “Numberjacks”, wonders Bill Hargreaves. “Come on Burnley - turn it into a competition.”

I’ve no idea what Numberjacks is, but that’s outstanding.

3 min Chelsea win a free-kick on the right which Pedro swings in, but Barnes is up early and high to thunk away a clearance. The ball comes right back, but eventually Boyd wins it at right-back and stabs downfield.

2 min Joey Barton has come dressed as Steve Owen after a heavy night.

1 min A tick tock, ya don’t stop. To the tick tock, ya don’t stop. To the tick tock, ya don’t stoP. To the tick tock, ya don’t stop

“And it’s live! As such, time for some commercials.”

....and here they line-up for no fathomable reason.

Here they come...

Aaaand another! “Morning Daniel, from sunny Guyana, where there are two seasons: hot and dry, and hot and rainy,” taunts Gene Mackie. “Chelsea are in an enviable position that they already have the players to improve their squad: Zouma and the returning Andreas Christiansen replace Cahill and Azpilicueta, the latter of whom replaces Moses at wing-back; the developing Loftus-Cheek replaces Matic in the middle; and Tammy Abraham definitely deserves a go up front if Costa leaves. Though if I were Conte, I’d break the bank for Sanchez in the summer: Willian-Sanchez-Hazard wouldn’t be too far off the Barcelona front three.”

You lost me in the first line, I’m afraid. But to plough on through the substance, I agree on Zouma, but not on Azpilicueta, who is brilliant in his role - far better than at wing-back, I’d reckon. I’m certain there are better players out there than Matic, but I doubt Loftus-Cheek is close enough to nab his spot for now, and though I really hope Abraham comes back and gets it done, there’s no chance he’ll be relied upon. Finally, I think that you think that Willian is better than I do

Email! “The ‘Boro have been up and down (and up and down and...) a lot in the last 30 years,” notes Andrew Benton. “Are they the most bouncy team in the premiership at the mo?”

I think not. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think Palace have gone up and down most frequently since people invented the line about when Sky invented football. I’d wager that Sunderland have too.

Sean Dyche, who gives debuts to Brady and Westwood, wants them to produce what they do, while fitting into what the team usually do.

Antonio Conte has magnificent eyes.

This is what happened when the teams met earlier in the season.

Sky are showing Geoff Shreeves interviewing Marcus Alonso. He wants to keep winning and score more goals. Alonso, that is, not Shreeves.

Pointless posturing. As if Conte doesn’t follow Rangers reserves and Bill Hill Corinthians.

I’m going Sunderland, Palace, Boro - but it wouldn’t surprise me if I was wrong in every aspect.

On Sky, they’re featuring Fernando Llorente in preparation for Swansea-Leicester, and it really is nice to see him performing. He’s a lovely player, and also one whose attributes are well-suited to the Premier League. Suddenly, it’s becoming tricky to work out which teams are going down.

But to to answer the original question, I’d put them below the 2004 and 2005 champions, but above the 2010 champions.

So, how good are this Chelsea side? And what do they need to get better? I’d suggest a centre-back, and presumably there’s a right-wing-back out there better than Victor Moses. But at the same time, so brilliantly has Conte crafted and cobbled, so perfectly do things work, that it’s hard to conceive of anyone coming in and precipitating an improvement.

The last shots telly showed us, it was sleeting.

Only tangentially football-related, granted - but well, y’know.

José Mourhino was saying the other day that Chelsea can’t be caught because they’re a strong defensive side. In part, he was bigging up the cavalier behaviour of his bunch of wastrels, but in part he was making a strong point: sides who know what they’re doing at the back tend not to give away titles.

Sean Dyche is on telly talking about always playing to win, not playing to “not get beat”. And well done to him for that - his positivity, like that of a diligent speed awareness course instructor, has clearly transferred to his player.