Right, that’s yer lot. Cheers for joining and reading. Interesting night of European football. Yes.
Well, a sickener and no mistake for Turkey, but perhaps more so for Holland, who despite the equaliser find themselves six points behind the group leaders with five games to play. Of course they aren’t completely borked, but it will take something fairly remarkable for them to get one of the two automatic spots. The playoffs it could be for them, then. Eesh.
Can Guus Hiddink survive this? Well, one wonders, but the long-term plan is for current assistant Danny Blind to take the top job - would it be any use to bin off the head coach and simply replace him with someone who is presumably part of the problem?
Full-time: Holland 1-1 Turkey
If it’s possible, both teams look disappointed with that result.
GOAL! Holland 1-1 Turkey (Huntelaar (90+2)
Oh my days. Just after six minutes of added time is signalled, Sneijder picks the ball up just outside the area, he shoots with some force and it may or may not be heading for the corner, but before it may or may not get there it hits Huntelaar on the back and flies into the net. Jammy gets.
Full-time: Bulgaria 2-2 Italy
Not so much the Italians. The Bulgarian players look devastated to have drawn that.
Full-time: Andorra 0-3 Bosnia-Herzegovina
Likewise for the Bosnians.
Full-time - Belgium 5-0 Cyprus
Easy, that for the Belgians.
Italy pressing for a winner here. Immobile dances into the area from the left, and shoots a cross low across the face of goal, but it’s cleared just in time.
Exodus in Amsterdam, as the stands empty. Is this it for Hiddink?
Route one stuff from Holland, as De Vrij hoofs one in the direction of Dost up top, and the home fans really have turned on their boys. The boos and whistles ring out when the Dutch have the ball, while it’s all ‘OLÉs’ when the Turks are in possession.
The Dutch really are in a state. After Narsingh, with the ball about five yards outside the Turkish penalty area, turns around and plays the ball all the way back to his defence, the Amsterdam air is ripe with boos and whistles. Colin Kazim-Richards has come on for Turkey, by the way.
Close! Italy so very nearly take the lead as the ball falls to Gabbiadini in the area, he controls, spins around and pulls a left-footed shot across goal, but he pulls it too much and the ball trickles past the post. Conte is, to say the least, super-miffed on the touchline.
GOAL! Bulgaria 2-2 Italy (Eder 83)
What. A. Goal. The sub does it for Italy, picking up the ball outside the area out on the left channel, and the Sampdoria forward curls an absolute beauty right into the top corner.
GOAL! Belgium 5-0 Cyprus (Batshuayi 80)
They’re having great fun over there now, as the ball falls to Michy Batshuayi, who had only replaced Benteke a few moments earlier, and he measures a delightful finish into the corner of the net.
Calhanoglu tries one from way, way out for Turkey, but it flies wide. Meanwhile Jetro Willems comes on for Holland, replacing Martins Indi.
Italy knocking on the door now, but in the manner of a drunk man coming home from a ‘few quiet pints’ that turned into an eight-hours session after work. Gabbiadini tries a shot from range, but it sails wide.
The two Dutch subs combine as Jarsingh flinghs over a cross from the right looking for Dost, but he can’t quite get a proper header on it, and it bounces and loops to the keeper.
Chance for Holland, as Sneijder weighs up a free-kick, curls it over the wall but it just keeps on curlin’, curlin’, curlin’ past the post.
Not bad, Eden: https://t.co/wNvaHDyhNy
— WAGNH (@WAGNH_CFC) March 28, 2015
In Sofia, Valeri Bojinov - or as Manchester City fans know him the man Sergio Aguero could’ve been - is into the action.
Of course, Fatih Terim being involved recalls a favourite pun...
Chance for Italy, as Immobile tries a shot, it’s saved and the rebound falls to Bertolacci, who - and this is a technical term - guffs it up good and proper.
Here’s Dost for the Dutch, the striker coming on for Nigel de Jong. Holland will be playing four-four-fucking-two.
GOAL! Belgium 4-0 Cyprus (Hazard 67)
More deliciousness from the Belgians, almost straight away, as Hazard twinkles in from the left, shifts onto his right foot and measures a marvellous shot that pings in off the far post, leaving the keeper rooted.
GOAL! Belgium 3-0 Cyprus (Fellaini 65)
Marc Wilmots spins around like an ice dancer mugging for the judges as Marouane Fellaini bags his second, and it was a beauty. The Big Fleshy Tree cuts in from the right and curls a delightful left-footed shot into the far corner.
Woof! A bit of life from Holland as Afellay launches a shell of a left-footed half-volley from a ways outside the box, which is just above Babacan so he should save, and does, but there was some spice on that shot. Meanwhile, amusing scenes as Sen is replaced by Hakan Calhanoglu, retreating from the pitch with the slowest run that humanity can imagine, all the while turning to the referee who was hurrying him along saying “What? I’m running!” Or something.
GOAL! Andorra 0-3 Bosnia-Herzegovina (Dzeko 62)
There he is again, Edin Dzeko swooping to collect his hat-trick and the matchball, once again set up by Lulic. Think they’re going to win this one.
Update from Belgium: Cyprus are rubbish, Belgium are still winning. Will let you know when that changes.
Oriundo ahoy - Eder has replaced Simeone Zaza for Italy, the forward born and raised in Brazil, but with dual citizenship.
Goal machine Bas Dost is warming up for Holland, and might be doing so with more gusto as they miss a great chance. A cross comes over for Huntelaar that the striker can’t quite get to, but does enough to put off the keeper and the ball falls to Narsingh, who has half an open goal to aim at but pulls it wide of the post. Bad miss, that.
A Dutch fan in the crowd has fallen asleep. Metaphors, or something.
GOAL! Andorra 0-2 Bosnia-Herzegovina (Dzeko 49)
That’s the lead doubled in Andorra, as Manchester City’s Dzeko, after Senad Lulić breaks down the left, crosses and the striker is there to convert an easy finish.
Change for the Dutch at half-time, as PSV winger Luciano Narsingh comes on for clubmate Georginio Wijnaldum, which will presumably require a change of shape. Looks like Ibrahim Afellay will move infield.
Slightly odd moment in Sofia, as Bertolacci is sort of wrestled to the ground in a weird arm-bar move. Frankly he looks more startled than hurt, but hurt too. He should be OK to continue, mind.
The second halves are getting started, so fix up, look sharp and pay attention.
On Guus and luck...
@NickMiller79 reg 19:44 , I remember telling the person next to me at the pub that Guus Hiddink is the luckiest manager. And Iniesta scored
— Feroze Hussain (@ferozemj) March 28, 2015
Half-time
Andorra 0-1 Bosnia-Herzegovina
Belgium 2-0 Cyprus
Bulgaria 2-1 Italy
Holland 0-1 Turkey
More pressure from Italy now. Immobile tries a cross from the left that...well, it doesn’t go so well. Meanwhile Darmian has acquired a split lip, from where I currently know not.
Half chance for Italy as Bulgaria keeper Mihaylov waves at a cross, but they can’t take advantage. Equally, Holland nearly level things as Sneijder whips in a free-kick from the left, which pings off a couple of players before Babacan claws away, before the flag goes up for an offside somewhere in there.
Apologies for the lack of updates from Andorra v Bosnia-Herzegovina. Seems to be some problems with the TV feed, but it’s still 1-0 to the Bosnians with three minutes of the first-half left.
GOAL! Holland 0-1 Turkey (Yimaz 37)
Well, well, well. A cross comes over from the right that De Vrij can only get a flick on, it falls to Yilmaz who controls, shifts into some space then shoots, and it deflects off Martins Indi and into the net. Oh, Guus...
Crossbar! Ach, Italy are clinging on here, as Bulgaria go close to extending their lead through a Popov free-kick that pops ov the crossbar. They’ll be happy to go in at half-time just one down, at this rate.
GOAL! Belgium 2-0 Cyprus (Benteke 33)
Well, that was simple enough. A whipped cross in from the right finds Benteke obligingly given plenty of room to pick his spot, which he does with some aplomb, powering a header into the net from the edge of the six-yard box.
More directionless stuff from Holland, who already seems to be running out of ideas. Meanwhile, Tony Gale on commentary has referred to Nigel de Jong in the past tense, which is a bit harsh.
All quite scrappy for Italy in Sofia. Zaza has a shot on the spin from just outside the area, but it sails wide of the post, via a deflection. Bulgaria still lead 2-1.
One assumes Lucca is talking about the gravity-sensitive Chiellini, here...
@NickMiller79 It makes me really sad to think that Maldini used to wear that no. 3 shirt, rather than that walking wardrobe of a defender.
— Lucca de Paoli (@LuccadePaoli) March 28, 2015
More japes in the Holland defence, as a Selcuk free-kick from out on the left is sliced horribly, but luckily the ball flies to safely. The Dutch are rudderless, here.
Holland v Turkey is the only game without a goal so far, but the Turks have probably come the closest, after Burak Yilmaz found himself in some space near the penalty spot, fired at goal but Bruno Martins Indi was there to block it, with what looked like his shoulder.
GOAL! Belgium 1-0 Cyprus (Fellaini 21)
We haven’t even had chance to mention the Belgium game, but they’re in the lead now after Marouane Fellaini picked up a ball from something of a scramble in the area and struck it low and into the net on the turn, from about 12 yards out.
GOAL! Bulgaria 2-1 Italy (Micanski 17)
Ho! What’s this! Antonio Conte’s bottom is twitching as Bulgaria take the lead, having come from a goal down and it’s a bullet header from Ilian Micanski from a cross on the right, powered home from about ten yards out. Poor marking, but that’s a cracking header.
GOAL! Andorra 0-1 Bosnia-Herzegovina (Dezko 13)
We knew there would be goals in this one, and we knew they would come from Bosnia-Herzegovina, and we knew they would probably come from Edin Dzeko. So, you won’t be surprised to learn that Edin Dzeko has given Bosnia-Herzegovina the lead.
Holland have started the game on top but haven’t carved out any genuinely clear-cut chances. Wesley Sneijder was the latest to have a pop, shooting just past the Turkish near post after cutting in fron the left.
GOAL! Bulgaria 1-1 Italy (Popov 11)
And they’re level! Nice work from Ivelin Popov just outside the Italy box, creating some space with a drop of the shoulder and a flick, before he mullers the ball across Sirigu and into the bottom corner. Eventful stuff in Sofia.
Giorgio Chiellini - big, tough, bruising defender Giorgio Chiellini - has just pulled off perhaps the most outrageous dive you could hope to see. Swear he put a twist in there for extra fun.
GOAL! Bulgaria 0-1 Italy (Mihaylov OG 3)
Well that didn’t take long, and some slapstick in the Bulgarian defence gives Italy the lead. A cross from the left comes over and keeper Mihaylov flaps at the thing under some pressure from Johnny Sushi himself, Simone Zaza, and it ends up in the net. Could’ve been the keeper, could’ve been full-back Minev, but it’s definitely a goal.
And we’re away. Cracking atmosphere for the Dutch game, cut through with tension and fear.
Some thoughts on Big Guus, from Shaun Lawson:
“What’s the most important quality in either military generals or football managers? Luck. Consider:
- Hiddink somehow survived the complete filleting of his side by England at Euro 96 to preside over a brilliant campaign at France 98: when Holland last played the kind of football which is still traditionally associated with them (and him: huge amounts of his reputation owe to that tournament)
- Then he benefited from two of the most farcical, outrageous officiating displays in World Cup history to take Korea to the semi-finals in 2002
- Then, where Venables had failed unluckily with Australia, he got them to their first World Cup via a penalty shoot-out v Uruguay. Once there, 3 goals in the last 10 minutes turned likely defeat v Japan into a vital three points; and Graham Poll’s laughable display turned the Croatia game into a farce, doing Hiddink’s opponents as much harm overall as his team
- Then he survived a pathetic Euro 2008 qualifying campaign with Russia, because England somehow did even worse
But then, one famous night at Stamford Bridge, everything changed. All Hiddink’s good fortune was suddenly used up. So Chelsea were robbed of a place in the Champions League Final; then Russia were somehow knocked out of the 2010 World Cup by Slovenia; then came a total flop with Turkey; and now this. Wine being turned inexorably into water.
Holland do have a bit of a history of playing like Alan Brazil in qualifying, only to look the real deal at the big shindig, but still... I don’t know what higher power Guus Hiddink offended 6 years ago, but he’s been paying for it big style ever since.
Wales won earlier. Gareth Bale was dead good. For more on that, have a read of the match report.
Some scores from earlier.
While we’re waiting for the games to kick off, why not read Danny Taylor’s Observer column, which features a few delightful but sad stories about Duncan Edwards, and this delightful but ridiculous story about Sol Campbell. For he is Sol Campbell:
A few weeks back, the sports minister, Helen Grant, arranged a summit at Whitehall to discuss why there are so few black managers and coaches in the game. Senior figures from the Football Association were there, along with the Premier League, the Professional Footballers’ Association and the Football League. There were guests from Kick It Out and Show Racism the Red Card and Sol Campbell also received an invitation, as an ex-England player who is frustrated, understandably, by the lack of opportunities.
What Campbell does not appear to realise, perhaps, is that the best way to get a point across is without ego or too much self-esteem.
On this occasion he wanted the FA’s technical director, Dan Ashworth, to explain why Gary Neville had been fast-tracked through the system to become one of Roy Hodgson’s assistants with the England team. Ashworth started talking about the favourable impression Neville had made on Hodgson and the players and was running through the processes that were involved when Campbell put out his hand to interrupt him. This is when things started to get a little strange.
“But I am Sol Campbell.”
As you might imagine, that isn’t a particularly easy sentence to come back from. Ashworth did his best to continue because, well, what else could he do? But it is fair to say the entire room had been engulfed in awkwardness and when Ashworth stopped talking there was another tumbleweed moment. Campbell, hand out, ended the conversation in the same way he had started it.
“But I am Sol Campbell.”
He was correct. But whether he gets an invitation the next time there is one of these discussions is not entirely clear.
Team news
Holland v Turkey
Cillessen, van der Wiel, de Vrij, Martins Indi, Blind, Wijnaldum, Nigel de Jong, Sneijder, Afellay, Huntelaar, Depay. Subs: Krul, Janmaat, Veltman, Bruma, Willems, Clasie, Narsingh, Luuk de Jong, Dost, Klaassen, Promes, Vermeer.
Babacan, Gonul, Aziz, Balta, Erkin, Tufan, Topal, Inan, Tore, Yilmaz, Sen. Subs: Gunok, Ozbayrakli, Emre, Altintop, Bulut, Calhanoglu, Ekici, Erdinc, Kazim-Richards, Sahan, Gulum, Tekin.
Referee: Felix Brych (Germany)
Bulgaria v Italy
Mihaylov; Manolev, Bodurov, A Aleksandrov, Minev; Dyakov, Gadzhev; Milanov, Popov, M. Alexandrov; Micanski. Subs: Mitrev, Stoyanov, Bandalovski, Stoychev, Terziev, Slavchev, Malinov, Chochev, R Vasilev, V Vasilev, Tonev, Bozhinov
Sirigu; Barzagli, Bonucci, Chiellini; Darmian, Candreva, Verratti, Bertolacci, Antonelli; Zaza, Immobile. Subs: Marchetti, Ranocchia, Moretti, Valdifiori, Parolo, Cerci, Soriano, Gabbiadini, Pellè, Vazquez, Eder
Referee: Damir Skomina (Slovenia)
Belgium v Cyprus
Courtois, Kompany, Vertonghen, Lombaerts, Alderweireld, Fellaini, Witsel, Nainggolan, Hazard, De Bruyne, Benteke. Subs: Ferreira Carrasco, Mignolet, Gillet, Mertens, Origi, Dembele, Denayer, Chadli, Ciman, Batshuayi, Deschacht, Vanden Borre
Kissas, Antoniades, Merkis, Nikolaou, Makridis, Laban, Kyriakou, Laifis, Mitidis, Soteriou, Makris. Subs: Charalambous, Sielis, Mintikkis, Artymatas, Kolokoudias, Kittou, Panyani, Economides, Eleftheriou, Kastanos, Englezou.
Referee: Ovidiu Hategan (Romania)
Andorra v Bosnia-Herzegovina
Pol, Lima, Soria, Sonejee, Vales, Marc Garcia, Nicolas, Vieira, Lorenzo, Clemente, Gomez. Subs: Gomes, Martinez, Emili Garcia, Riera, Ayala, Rubio, Pousa.
Begovic, Spahic, Mujdza, Zukanovic, Vranjes, Besic, Pjanic, Lulic, Visca, Ibisevic, Dzeko. Subs: Vrsajevic, Bicakcic, Medunjanin, Susic, Prcic, Hajrovic, Hadzic, Dujkovic, Cocalic, Sehic, Cimirot, Duric.
Referee: Istvan Vad II (Hungary)
Preamble
Never go back. That’s what They always say. And They are often right. It won’t be the same, someone will have moved where the teabags are kept, you’ll end up making a fool of yourself. Not that Guus Hiddink’s first spell as Holland manager was massively successful (he presided over the implosion and in-fighting of Euro 96 but only lost on penalties in the World Cup 1998 semi-final), but the second looks like it’s going south pretty rapidly. Perhaps having another go with the Oranje is part of the punishment for being caught tax-evading a few years ago. Whatever, it ain’t going well, with the avuncular pal of Roman Abramovich (not necessarily a contradiction in terms) leading the Dutchos to two wins and two defeats from their opening four qualifiers and four defeats from his first five games in charge. Two were friendlies against Italy and Mexico, one in qualifying to the Czech Republic was slightly embarrassing but the 2-0 reverse to Iceland in October was more chastening than having his trousers fall down, causing him to trip over as he tries to retrieve the situation, and falling straight into a swimming pool.
Indeed, Hiddink promised to fall on the ‘do one’ sword if his boys lost to Lativa last time out, and while they came through for him with a 6-0 victory on that occasion, things still ain’t right. Iceland’s win earlier on tonight leaves the Dutch six points behind the automatic qualification places, and if they don’t pull one out of the bag this evening, they’re in genuine danger of not making it to France next summer. Which, given that these qualifiers are specifically designed to make it as difficult as possible for the big boys to make a balls of things, would be quite an achievement. Turkey, tonight’s opponents, could very much do with the points themselves, having just one win to their name thus far and finding themselves eight points off the pace and in peril, but the pressure is most certainly on Hiddink, who has the added mither of being without Robin van Persie and Arjen Robben for this one.
For further reading, we refer you to Bart Vlietstra’s piece on the matter from October, and although two games have passed since then, it mostly all still applies:
It seemed like the perfect way to end his career. Guus Hiddink has had some bad managerial spells of late (Russia didn’t qualify for the 2010 World Cup, Turkey didn’t reach Euro 2012, the project with the big spenders Anzhi Makhachkala ended abruptly) but those would be forgotten, provided he could lead a successful campaign with the Dutch national team shining brightly at France 2016.
“Wouldn’t be too hard,” he must have thought when he signed some months before the World Cup 2014 in Brazil, to do better than his predecessor, Louis van Gaal, who had rebuilt the Oranje with a number of promising yet fairly green talents such as Daryl Janmaat, Stefan de Vrij, Bruno Martins Indi, Daley Blind and Memphis Depay. A team that were comprehensively beaten in a pre-World Cup friendly with France.
How bad things have turned out for Hiddink. Holland were third in Brazil, beating the hosts in their final match 3-0. Expectations for that tournament were to be eliminated at the group stage or maybe fortuitously survive and then be demolished by Brazil. But Van Gaal introduced a rare defensive system (5-3-2) and a flying start against Spain (5-1) helped the youthful Dutch on their way to a journey that was just as surprising as the current downfall.
Antonio Conte isn’t under quite the same pressure with Italy (they’re unbeaten and level-top of their group with Croatia), but these are still slightly curious times for the Azzuri boss. For the former Juventus manager has been held responsible for an injury to his former club charge Claudio Marchisio by the slightly more unhinged corners of the internet, and has received death threats, if you can believe such a thing.
I saw him shaken this morning,” FIGC President Carlo Tavecchio said after a minor spat between Conte and Juve over the injury. “After yesterday’s controversy, he received death threats on the internet.
“I met with Conte for a long time and he is not calm. All these things have been said on social networks and he feels vilified for something that is not his fault. The FIGC stands by him.
“People are creating this huge castle of sand on top of a fortuitious accident. I’ve never seen such rage aimed at a Coach. I am stunned, because the interests of the national team should be taken into consideration. We are capable of damaging ourselves like this.”
Most bizarre. The Italians could do with a win against Bulgaria here tonight, after the Croats snuck past Norway earlier on, but even an Italian side who don’t exactly resemble the great teams of the past shouldn’t have a great deal of bother getting through this group. Simone Zaza looks set to start this one, and let’s just say his name sounds a little jazzier than his life/personality. He said this week:
In many ways I am an anti-footballer. One of my few vices is clothes, so I can spend an entire day shopping and trying stuff on. I also go to the restaurant often and have started appreciating sushi.”
Oh Simone, you so cray-cray.
The other game of note tonight is Belgium v Cyprus, which should be pretty one-sided, so instead of flustering yourself about that, see what Tottenham’s Nacer Chadli had to say to our man Alan Smith over some pizza:
Now he is back on international duty for the first time since suffering that loss. Having grown up in Liège, a stone’s throw from one of his best friends and international team-mate Axel Witsel, Chadli had always wanted to turn out forBelgium, but when Morocco, his father’s birthplace, approached him in late 2010 he explored.
He was man of the match in his only Morocco appearance, a friendly against Northern Ireland at Windsor Park, before George Leekens, the Belgium manager at the time, came calling a few weeks later.
“I was going to choose Morocco but the [Belgium] manager invited me to come visit the group and see how I feel,” he says. “I didn’t want to rush the decision – if I joined I didn’t want to regret it – but I went for a look and was 100% certain I wanted to play for Belgium. I still love Morocco but there was something there I wasn’t sure with so thought about it and changed.
“There was some pressure from Morocco for me to commit but with Belgium there was no real pressure and it felt like the right thing to do.”
Kick-offs: 19.45 GMT
