Duty free ... Terry Wogan with Scooch, the UK's 2007 Eurovision entry. Photograph: Todd Antony/BBC
Some shows are just synonymous with their presenter. Only fools and revisionists recognise the post-John Craven newsround; the true Countdown will always be fronted by Richard Whiteley; and Sir Michael Terence Wogan is the Eurovision Song contest. Or was. Sir Terry is stepping down from the helm of the BBC Eurovision coverage in a move certain to horrify hardcore fans.
Effortlessly witty and charming, Wogan was the first Eurovision commentator to credit viewers with intelligence and openly mock the block-voting charade, seeing it for the infinitely entertaining farce it is. Sardonic without being snide, Wogan was always on hand to offer the benefit of his wisdom to the contest participants (his advice to Sweden's returning officer Björn Gustafsson - "It's not easy this, you have to move your lips" - being a particular favourite).
But with Wogan gone, will anyone bother watching the show? Is Eurovision finally facing its Waterloo? Well, let's not write the obituaries just yet. Yes, the king is dead, but there must be candidates to replace him; so just who is available to commentate on the only pan-European vote that means a damn thing?
At a loose end and desperate to appear on whatever show will have her, Vorderman has the profile but neither the wit nor the talent to step into Wogan's impressive size 12s. Sorry Carol, Strictly Come Dancing will be up for renewal in five years - try that.
Verdict: Nul points. Carol returns to Countdown, tail between legs, on the minimum wage.
Davina McCall
The reigning queen of Big Brother likes fronting big, iconic shows, likes the limelight, and likes people - but do people still like her? Big Brother forums reveal increasing boredom with her sycophantic interview style and love of referring to bullying dullards as "genius housemates".
Verdict: Deux points. Davina sticks to increasingly bizarre L'Oreal adverts and ousts Holly Willoughby as host of Streetmate.
Ant and Dec
Watch them rock the Eurovision mic? PSYCHE! While witty, lovable and untouchable in their preferred format the boys lack the spontaneity to be effective over the long haul of the voting marathon.
Verdict: Cinq points. PJ and pal fall short of landing the gig but the Eurovision flotation allows them the leverage to squeeze another obscene pay rise out of ITV.
Simon Amstell:
Amstell's pedigree on Popworld and Never Mind the Buzzcocks shows he has the necessary love of pop music combined with a healthy irreverence for its performers. Not many presenters could have prevented Amy Winehouse's Buzzcocks appearance turning into a bloodbath, but Amstell brilliantly piloted the tail-spinning chanteuse out of harm's way, playing on their shared Jewish heritage and past Popworld hook-ups, for a rocky but ultimately safe landing. He's witty with or without a script and would relish the challenge of becoming the next Mr Eurovision.
Verdict: Dix points! Amstell is a massive hit with the viewers as he chides production values, rails against corrupt Eastern Bloc voting and editorialises on the need for a Blue Mercedes reunion.
It's making your mind up time, folks. Who's your fantasy Eurovision commentator? Is Wogan replaceable, or should we just cut our losses, jettison the coverage and become the full-time Europhobes we secretly wanted to be all along?
