Plump up your shoulder pads, dig out the killer heels and start practising icy one-liners now. US television's next season will be all about the 1980s-style saga, many adapted from "bonkbuster" novels, where the plots are as overembellished as the sequins adorning the heroine's little black dress.
But banish thoughts of Phoebe Cates demanding "which one of you bitches is my mother?" in Lace, or Lindsay Wagner tossing her abundant curls at a bemused Barry Bostwick in Scruples. The new shows are aimingfor a more serious take on the genre, even as they keep its finer traditions in place. Thus, ABC has enlisted the help of Natalie Portman, who will produce their Scruples remake with Grey Gardens' Michael Sucsy directing. Sadly Portman won't be gracing the small screen; instead Britain's Claire Forlani will play the naive ugly duckling turned stylish queen of the Manhattan scene, Billy Ikehorn.
Not to be outdone, NBC has ordered a pilot of Jacqueline Susann's bestselling Valley of the Dolls, which was a schlocky 60s film starring Sharon Tate. This version will be written and directed by Precious's Lee Daniels.
Before either of these delights hit the small screen, however, the Dallas sequel will air on Channel 5 later this year. Early previews suggest the new take is at its best when the scenery-chewing old guard are on screen but no show containing the line, "We laid waste to everything in our path JR, and for what?" should be entirely written off.
Then there's the series that kicked off the revival back in September, ABC's Revenge. From Madeline Stowe's frosty glare to Emily VanCamp's winsome wickedness, the drama – on E4 later this year – is an old-fashioned primetime soap about beautiful people doing impossibly horrible things to each other. It's great fun to watch because, like all the best TV bonkbusters – Dynasty, the original Dallas – it takes itself just seriously enough to let the audience enjoy the ride.
