Brit awards 2022 – as it happened

I can’t tell whether that seemed to go incredibly fast or last a million years. It’s hard to resume normal mental function post-liveblog and not contrive comment on everything in sight. “This toothbrush has nothing on Jack Whitehall, etc etc.” (Clearly, tonight has lasted a million years.)

Anyway, thanks for joining me and Elle for a very strange Brits. We have the strange predicament of a largely great class of winners coupled with a pretty boring event. Good performances from Little Simz and Dave for sure, but a distinct lack of excitement otherwise, and a serious downturn in hosting from the Whitehall era. Maybe one day they’ll get it right! Until then, we’re off to simmer down from all the moderate pop excitement with an episode of Cheers. The Brits’ best single has nothing on Gary Portnoy. Goodnight!

It’s Dave performing In the Fire with help from Fredo, Ghetts, Meekz, Giggs and a gospel choir. Unlike his 2020 Brits performance in which he attacked prime minister Boris Johnson as “a real racist”, this performance is all about pure feeling, Dave detailing the experience of being at risk of deportation, and how “everythin’ but my mum’s pay’s on the rise”. It may well be its own form of limitation to expect political artists to keep on making political statements, and so this is a well earned moment of full-frontal emotional expression that climaxes with Dave ripping a solo on a guitar that shoots real flames out of the neck.

Phew! It’s very warm in here, but maybe it’s just my laptop going into overdrive from our relentless journalistic service tonight.

Adele wins album of the year for 30: her third, having won in 2016 for 25 and in 2012 for 21. She thanks “her label and stuff”, but dedicates this win to her son Angelo.

“I’m very proud of myself for sticking to my guns and putting out an album that was so personal to me, because not many people do stuff like that anymore,” she says.

Angelo, aged nine, had been so patient and “gracious” with her during the process, Adele said.

She also paid tribute to producer of the year (not awarded on the broadcast), Inflo, as “someone who was absolutely integral” to the album.

“He really changed my life, not just with my music – he really helped me in so many ways.”

Here’s The Joker and the Queen, a sugary slab of classic Sheeran sentimentality played largely on acoustic guitar: his lady could have absolutely anyone, “a thousand kings and hearts that could give you a diamond ring”, and yet, she chooses this guy. To his credit, he knows a lot of card playing-related puns and he’s not afraid to use them. My cynicism meters are off the charts, my teeth are aching from the saccharine strings – this makes Bread’s Make It With You sound like Sabbath – and yet... the millennial Neil Sedaka comes back to this MOR slush mode so often that you can only believe he means it, and good for him. Maybe we could all learn from his guileless submission to romance, to minimising unnecessary second-guessing.

That said, Bring Me the Horizon were wasted on Bad Habits. This could definitely have been livened up with some throat-grating wails.

Mo Farah presents Adele with artist of the year, her second award of the night. On her way to the stage, she gives Little Simz – one of the nominees in the category, alongside Ed Sheeran, Sam Fender and Dave – a friendly pat on the shoulder.

“I’ve never changed so fast in my life,” she says, breathless and back in black after her glittery gold performance prior. “I actually wasn’t expecting this one at all.”

Then Adele offers some words of encouragement to the new, and less established artists out there:

“I want to say a massive congratulations to Little Simz, I think you’re absolutely... [Audio cuts out, assumedly for a stream of praiseful expletives] I’m so proud to be in your company. I love being an artist, I really do, I genuinely can’t believe it’s my job. Real artistry, there’s so many new artists here in England, the UK – we have so many new young artists coming up. Never lose sight of why you are who you are, the reason people are into you is because of something in you – don’t let go of it.”

She also references the change in the category, from female artist of the year to artist of the year, saying that she understands why it happened – “but I really love being a woman, I really love being a female artist, I really do”. And she’s off – though she’s also nominated for album of the year, yet to come.

The War on Drugs may have lost out on international group but here’s their spirit (and their mutual Springsteen DNA) in the superb Sam Fender, another British star who deserves every bit of success coming his way. (The War on Greggs? Needs work – ed.)

Curiously, this classicist rock song has blown up on TikTok, where it soundtracks videos about overcoming abuse (as well as sparkly fancams about Fender being a “top tier indie boi”). Although there’s been a fairly conspicuous lack of political commentary to usual at the Brits tonight – and there’s plenty of low-hanging fruit to go at – Fender singing about his mother, who has fibromyalgia, struggling to get help from the Department for Work and Pensions, is a powerful moment not to be underestimated in the middle of a shiny floor entertainment show.

Clara Amfo presents the award for international group of the year to Bruno Mars and Anderson .Paak, aka Silk Sonic. They can’t attend either, so have sent a video of them seated by side by side in the West Coast sunshine, wearing tawny tones.

“Little bit of a problem,” says Bruno Mars. “You only sent one award, and there’s two of us! We’ll share it.”

Anderson .Paak wrests it off Bruno Mars, muttering out the side of his mouth: “You have one already, you have one!”

I appreciate the obvious attention to styling, lighting, and comedic scripting of their acceptance video. It’s the little things.

They beat four groups to the award, at least one of whom even that commenter who was talking about Fairport Convention will have heard of: BTS, the War on Drugs, Måneskin and ABBA. (The winner does not take it all …)

Dave wins best hip-hop/grime/rap act, one of the genre-specific, fan-voted categories.

“First of all I want to thank God, first and foremost for this. For the last couple of years I want to thank God, I want to dedicate everything to Him.” He also thanks his fans. He passed a college on his way to the O2, he says, and it took him back to an older (simpler?) time:

“I saw some of the kids going to college and doing their thing and it took me back to a different time – it feels like just yesterday, I went to St Mark’s [Academy, in Mitcham].”

Dave’s incendiary performance at the 2020 Brits was hailed as the awards’ most political moment in recent memory, but tonight he seems in a reflective mood.

“I’m a difficult person,” he says, “and I want to say thank you to all of my friends, and anyone that knows me, for putting up with me. And the rappers that have suffered for years and years and years and years and have broken down so many barriers.”

Also nominated in the category was AJ Tracey, Central Cee, Ghetts and Little Simz.

The I Drink Wine singer starts her set with I Drink Wine, of course. And dressed as the Quality Street toffee penny, too. Perhaps after Anne Marie’s tumble, she’s taking no chances and performs the song perched on a piano. What starts as a low-key, tipsy gals together singalong quickly gives way to some proper Adele virtuosity, backed by a small gospel choir. The hints of self-awareness in her face in the first verse dip away by the second, as she leans into the feeling of the song, grimaces with the full force of her emotions and clutches at her heart. The small-scale performance preserves the humanity and directness of the song: “You can’t fight fire with fire,” she sings with an exasperated look, as if she were trying to drum the advice into a mate at the pub. Her seductive boozy melodrama takes a brief digression into full diva at the end, with a tantalising glimpse of vocal overdrive – but then she dials it back down to earth.

Lovely, though I reckon people were expecting more especially given how rehearsed she must have been for her cancelled Vegas shows. May the I Drink Wine singer now go and enjoy some wine now her professional duties are done (though she’s still nominated in two more categories...).

Little Simz brings her mum up on stage to accept her first-ever Brit award, presented by Tom Daley. She’s won against Central Cee, Griff, Joy Crookes and Self Esteem. Her mother, clinging onto the award, looks thrilled.

“Thank you so much,” says Simz. “Look at what you’ve done Mum.” Her mum sheds a few tears – a genuinely moving moment.

“I’m from north London, Islington … I’m an independent artist and to be here tonight, receiving this award, is such a blessing – I’m so grateful.” Simz thanks her team, her family and extended family, and God.

“I wanna say to anyone who is watching this at home, I am living proof that if you work hard at something, no matter where you come from, your background, your race – you can be something extraordinary. This is for all the kids, keep dreaming, keep pushing. I am you, you are me. Lessons. Thank you so much.”

Here’s this year’s Rising Star winner – beloved by Olivia Rodrigo, as we just learned – making her TV debut. You wonder whether the 22-year-old Lincoln songwriter shouldn’t have played one of her better known songs – the euphoric Scarlett or dramatic The Walls Are Way Too Thin – instead of the featherlight new single London Is Lonely. But what starts a little wispy, the vocals barely audible, forces closer listening, and Humberstone, walking towards the camera and staring straight down the lens, seems rightly confident in her ability to command attention. Her shadowy dancers flit through the background as the song gains in melodic magnetism, as so many of Humberstone’s singles do, and the drama picks up when the electrics seem to cut out, the dancers walk away and Humberstone finishes the song alone at the piano, surrounded by white lights.

Also: Griff for 2023 presenter, great job!

Billie Eilish wins international artist of the year for the second year in a row, against Doja Cat, Lil Nas X, Olivia Rodrigo and Taylor Swift. (Last year there were male and female categories: The Weeknd won the male equivalent.)

She cannot attend this evening but says in a video of herself, precariously holding her Brit by what looks like a kitchen cabinet (dark wood): “I feel so lucky to be awarded this AGAIN, I don’t feel like I deserve it.”

She says she loves her UK fans and can’t wait to perform at Glastonbury. See you there Beyelash!

In the meantime, perhaps revisit this great profile of the newly-blonde Billie by Laura Snapes, currently furiously reviewing Holly Humberstone’s performance next to me on the sofa.

Måneskin, in their fetching matching blue-and-pink, present Wolf Alice with group of the year.

Theo Ellis says the win is “absolutely unbelievable: I think we’re quite shocked. We’d really like to thank our record label, who completely took us to this position that we’re in right now. Without them, we would never have got here. We’d so proud to be a band in this day and age … I’m going to get battered.”

Joff Oddie chips in to suggest forming a supergroup with Måneskin. Ellie Rowsell looks too thrilled to speak.

Nominees for the award were Coldplay, D-Block Europe, Little Mix and London Grammar.

He’s flown in by helicopter to ‘av it in a trapper hat and sing a brand new song that precisely nobody wants to hear. If your new music sounds like plodding, fist-through-a-wet-paper-bag Oasis cast-offs – and you’re going to bring Bonehead with you on guitar! – just play the hits, man! Having Liam here is a strange tactic from the Brits, too, if they’re looking to lure in a younger audience, although I was recently disturbed to learn of the massive cohort of teenage Britpop lovers using TikTok to debate whether Liam or Noel was the biggest dilf. (Liam tbf.) Apparently this song was inspired by Gimme Shelter, which is quite the understatement given that telling bit of piano boogie at the end, literally the only trace of colour in a ferociously drab, pile-driving four minutes.

“Oh my gosh, how epic was that!” says Mo Gilligan. Not epic at all, Mo. The days when Liam could coast on fronting at the Brits are long, long gone.

We’re getting through them at great pace now.

An emotional, even euphoric Becky Hill, in emerald green sequins, notes the importance of winning a fan-voted award: “I have never been so heartwarm’d – I don’t even know if that’s a word …

“I have been a little drum’n’bass raver since I was 12 years old: I love dance music, and to be up against people like Raye, Joel [Corry], Fred [Again], Calvin [Harris] is an honour.”

“She is one of our hottest new artists,” says Mo Gilligan, of a rapper who released her debut mixtape in 2010. Come on, Mo! It sometimes feels like Simz is kept in a perpetual state of arrival, hailed as a “breakout star” when she’s been releasing brilliant albums for the last six years. But if anything is finally going to rocket launch her into public consciousness, it is this unbelievable, grin-inducing performance.

It starts with Simz concealed by dancers clad in burgundy, a vision of communality that recalls Solange’s gorgeous live shows. She emerges from their midst in a fabulous black leather trench coat to sing the title track from her 2021 album, Sometimes I Might Be Introvert, picking her up and twirling her overhead. Then Emma Corrin – yes, The Crown’s Princess Diana! – appears to perform their interstitial parts from the album, encouraging Simz to embrace the journey of becoming a woman.

And then, like magic, the stage turns red, Simz’s leather coat has become a soft furry number, and she’s flanked by dancers in silky pantsuits for the wonderful Woman, with its chorus vocals by Cleo Sol. Simz may be shy in person, but she’s in her element on stage: effortlessly cool, putting the night’s previous try-hard performances to shame, rapping with spirit and admiration and well earned confidence as she sings of “innovating just like Donna Summer in the 80s”.

“Woman to woman, I just wanna see you glow, tell ‘em!” she sings, popping a little shoulder flex. I can report a sensation of rosy warmth from the sofa, so I hope Simz is absolutely basking in it.

Ronnie Wood’s “favourite”, our very own angel of the north – Sam Fender wins the alternative/rock award. “I had a plan, and now I’ve forgotten it, so I’m just going to say thanks to the fans,” he says.

He also thanks his manager – “for walking into that pub years ago, and believing in it” – and his hometown North Shields.

In August, he told the Guardian’s music editor Ben Beaumont-Thomas about his journey to embracing himself as an “empathic little softie”.

He’s nominated for three awards tonight (including album of the year), and is performing for the first-time tonight.

This is one of the four new genre-specific categories of the new-look Brits, voted on by the public. Dula Peep (as she’s known to friends) was up against Adele, Ed Sheeran, Griff and Joy Crookes.

She’s not attending the ceremony tonight, due to a rehearsal schedule in the US, but sent a video of herself surrounded by loved ones/professional collaborators to say thanks.

Our pleasure, Dula Peep!

“Another iconic collaboration,” says Mo Gilligan, introducing Anne Marie and KSI. We get a bit of an Anne Marie medley at the start – then she takes a very painful looking tumble down the red steps at the top of the stage! To her credit, she pulls it back with barely a wince and rejoins the choreo. Within seconds, she’s slapping a button, triggering some pyro, and kicking a man off a podium (must have been cathartic after that fall). Sadly, she does not do a Patti Smith at Glastonbury and shout: “Yeah, I fell on my fucking ass at Glastonbury. But you know why? Because I’m a fucking animal, that’s why!” Instead, there’s a man wearing a pink egg for a head on the decks, then here’s KSI and off they go into Don’t Play Games With My Heart for half a minute before we get KSI’s Holiday, a phenomenally drippy lighters-up moment. Iconic? Errr …

As we recover from that Courteney Cox/Snow Patrol bomb …

Olivia Rodrigo wins international song of the year with Good 4 U.

As Laura says, she does not seem especially surprised: “She did a very bad job at surprise face.”

“This is so cool ohmigosh thank you,” says Olivia Rodrigo on stage. “Last year at the Brits was my first performance ever so to get this performance tonight is so surreal. I love the UK and I so appreciate the love you’ve shown to Good 4 U and my album this year.”

She thanks Dan Nigro, her friend and collaborator, with her in the audience.

Here’s the full shortlist:

• Your Love (9PM) by BTS/Topic/A7S
• Happier Than Ever by Billie Eilish
• Love Nwantiti (Ah Ah Ah) by Ckay
• Kiss Me More by Doja Cat ft Sza
• Girls Want Girls by Drake ft Lil Baby
• Heartbreak Anthem by Galantis/Guetta/Little Mix
• Black Magic by Jonasu
• Stay by Kid Laroi & Justin Bieber
• Montero (Call Me By Your Name) by Lil Nas X
• Calling My Phone by Lil Tjay & 6lack
• I Wanna Be Your Slave by Maneskin
• Rapstar by Polo
• The Business by Tiesto
• Save Your Tears by The Weeknd

Adele’s won. Will we get used to saying that?

“Thank you so much,” she says. “First of all, I didn’t realise there were that many songs nominated for song of the year – I can’t believe a piano ballad won against that many bangers.”

She says she loves coming home, and that the Brits has been a part of her career since way back when … “well, when I was a foetus.”

And with that Adele keeps it short and sweet – perhaps anticipating other trips to the stage to come. She’s nominated for artist of the year, album of the year with 30, and pop/R&B artist (one of the four new genre-specific categories, voted on by the public).

Is there no genre that Sheeran cannot subsume into his oeuvre? Apparently not, because here he is performing his hit Bad Habits with British metallers Bring Me the Horizon and a cohort of goth circus performers and/or rejects from the musical Cats. He starts the song alone, but the double billing means we’re holding our breath for the inevitable metal RAWRRRRR – and here it comes courtesy of Oli Sykes! RAWWRRR! RAWWRRRRRR! It’s basically the KLF and Extreme Noise Terror at the 1992 Brit awards. Maybe a 30th anniversary celebration, in fact. Yes, that must be it. Anyway, the Brits love a mashup and here’s a characteristically naff one – complete with those shopping trolleys from the red carpet – albeit one that nods to the versatility (some might say blandness, who could say, couldn’t be me) of Sheeran’s songwriting.

Text from Guardian music editor Ben Beaumont-Thomas, otherwise engaged tonight: “Obvs I loved it.”

Have we all got a drink and some snacks? Welcome to the main event!

Whacking great ring on her ring finger!!! A soft-launch announcement? You heard it here first! (Probably.)

Anyway, the I Drink Wine singer is cold. But she feels great. As she says, she was “never supposed to be coming ‘cos I was supposed to have my shows” – the aforementioned Vegas cancellation – but every cloud has a silver lining and “so I’m pleased I can be here”.

Even with all those nominations behind her, Adele still feels “a bit silly coming to these things” and has to “block out a little bit with awards ceremonies otherwise my nerves would get the better of me”.

Despite the fact that her success tonight is very much bolted on, she’s not “cocky” about winning them all, though one would be nice, eh?

As for an after-party? It’s straight back to the flat for a McDonald’s and some white wine. Because Adele drinks wine!!!!!

Holly Humberstone is the winner of this year’s Brits Rising Star award (formerly known as Critics’ Choice), and she’s performing later too. If you’re not familiar with her yet, she’s one of the breakout stars of the pandemic, her sensitive pop – halfway between Lorde and the 1975 – and lyrics about loneliness striking a chord with listeners stuck inside during lockdown. I met her last autumn (after initially mistaking her for an off-duty waitress) and was struck by how cautiously she was navigating her newfound fame.

The question on absolutely nobody’s lips, apparently: no, it’s not a teacher training pub quiz team who won a trolley dash through Gucci, but biggest British band in the world Glass Animals.

Read about them becoming the first UK band to top Spotify’s global song chart right here.

A quick in and out by the looks of the ITV2 feed. Sadly no backstage chat about “how it feels to be nominated” for us, and given how many times she’s been up for the Brits (19), we’re being deprived of some expert knowledge here.

The only glimpse from the red carpet so far was the back of her expertly sculpted Hollywood bouffant.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year: the Guardian’s Brit awards live blog. I’d like to welcome you to my sofa, where I’ll be sharing live-blogging duties with Guardian writer Elle Hunt. I’d like to think we’re slightly more prepared from the woman manning the ITV red carpet coverage who is making no attempt to hide her flashcards with the stars’ faces on them. (Emphasis on slightly.) Anyway, the ceremony kicks off at 8pm so until then, please enjoy some sporadic and potentially uncharitable commentary on everyone’s outfits. I’ll leave you with the first emerging trend, “black dresses that appear to have lost a fight with the shredder”.