It was 1976. Lots of interesting stuff, like it being very hot in England and Mao Zedong dying, was happening. And I was making Star Wars. Wow. Cut to 2013. George Lucas announced he was going to make another Star Wars film and this time I would get paid enough to cover my overheads. The thing is: I liked playing Princess Leia and never expected to do so again. Wow.
Let’s get some of the backstory that you already know over and done with. My mother was Debbie Reynolds and my father was Eddie Fisher. If you know that already from my previous books, please don’t hate me. See, the only reason I am writing all this is because I want you to love me – you’d be messed up with parents like that. If you end up hating me then it will be a bit of a bummer for me. Only kidding. I’ll live. Once I’ve had a few sessions with my shrink.
Anyway, playing Princess Leia was like a crazy time. I don’t think anyone who wasn’t playing Princess Leia can quite appreciate just how crazy a time it was. And as I was the only person playing Princess Leia, only I really know how crazy it was. Please don’t hate me. Have I said that? It means a lot to me that you don’t. Thing is, I know that asking people to love me the whole time usually puts people off but I just can’t help myself. Where was I? Oh yes, Princess Leia. I was looking through my storeroom the other day and I found these diaries I wrote when I was making Star Wars. So I thought I’d share them with you to make you like me.
I was just 19, had only had a bit part in Shampoo when George cast me to star in Star Wars. I like the repetition in that sentence: “star in Star Wars”. I hope you do too! I can honestly say that none of us knew how big the movie was going to be. If you’d told me that grown men would be masturbating over pictures of me in a metal bikini, I’d never have believed you. Sorry. That might be too much information. My therapist does tell me I have a tendency to overshare.
So there I was with my stupid Princess Leia haircut – we used to call them the Buns of Navarone – running about the set trying to be a movie star and hoping that one day Harrison Ford might notice me. I know Harrison was 14 years older than me and married with two kids. And I can promise you that I never had any intention of having an affair with him because I just wasn’t the type of girl to have an affair with a married man. It’s really not my style.
Then came George’s birthday party. I don’t drink because drink and me just don’t mix but this time I did drink – and then Harrison made me smoke some dope that was a lot stronger than what I was used to. Before I knew it, I was in the back of a taxi snogging Harrison and telling him I had always loved him. It was as if I was there and not there, if you can understand what I’m trying to say. I couldn’t help myself because Harrison was just so good-looking and a real dreamboat. What happened next was this: Harrison and I had dinner with Mark Hamill and Koo Stark and then we went back to my flat! “Do you want to come in?” I asked. “Don’t mind if I do,” said Harrison.
I’m not going to tell you what we did that first night because I believe some things between two people having an affair are private. Arguably, even the affair itself, but sometimes a girl can’t help herself. After all, who wouldn’t want to tell the whole world she’s having an affair with the sexiest man from a galaxy far, far away. There was an instant connection between us and it felt as if we were the first two film stars ever to have had an affair while making a movie. Even though we probably weren’t.
“I can’t believe I’m having an affair with you,” said Harrison, “because I’m definitely not the kind of man to have an affair while I’m still married.”
“Oh Harrison,” I sobbed. “I’m definitely not the type of woman to have an affair with a married man either. What’s happening to us?”
“I guess that we’re just two lonely actors trying to make sense of the world while making a movie that will go down in history as one of the most famous ever. That and the fact that my wife doesn’t understand me.” Then he gave me a ring inscribed: “Carrison: Harrison hearts Carrie.”
Don’t hate me for this, but the affair went on for a while, and though Harrison did split up with his wife when he got back to the US, it was definitely nothing to do with me. Having looked through my diaries from this time again, I find there’s nothing very interesting in them apart from a few teenage doodlings like, “Harrison is a dreamboat” and short poems like “I am Leia / The marriage slayer / You are Han / A hunk of a man.”
That’s about it really. I’ve loved being Leia even if it gets a bit tedious signing autographs the whole time. Star Wars was an amazing movie to work on and I’ll never forget Harrison. Even if he probably wishes I would. Please don’t hate me.
Digested read, digested: Star bores.
