Ironically, misogyny isn’t just a result of being an “incel” (involuntary celibate) man (Raw hatred: How the Incel movement targets women, G2, 26 April), but is also quite often the cause of women becoming incels too.
Having been widowed in my early fifties, I tried, after a period of time, to meet possible new partners on the internet. Here I quickly found that any expectation that I’d be attractive to men my own age (my very attractive husband had been five years younger than me, so it hadn’t seemed too arrogant a hope) was sadly misplaced.
Almost every man my age on the sites I visited had set age limits for potential female partners at anything from 10 to 30 years younger than themselves, and made clear good looks were vital to any potential relationship, despite often not being any great shakes themselves.
Given that I had already lost one husband and was statistically likely to outlive other men my own age, the idea of taking on a man 15 to 20 years older than me was unappealing. I felt these men were selfishly seeking physical beauty now and a care plan for later, with little evidence of what they felt they were offering in return.
I have since read theories that they are often successful because younger women desperate to have children before their time runs out struggle to find men their own age willing to settle down.
As a result I remain an incel, and seem likely to spend the rest of my life alone for the crime of seeking an equal partner. The number of older women living out their lives alone hugely exceeds that of older men. Another hidden result of misogyny.
Needless to say, however, I have not felt driven to massacre innocent people as a result!
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