Auf Wiedersehen. bis nächste woche (see you next week)
[If this is incorrect, blame Google Translate]
Congratulations once more to brilliant Giuseppe - can he hit the hat-trick next week with Pastry Week? Looks like some chaos with the dreaded deep fat fryers and everybody’s favourite - PIES! See you all there, you lovely lot x
FREYA! I didn’t see that coming. An astonishingly good baker at 19 years old. Will miss her creativity and her deadpan humour during crucial tense moments.
And lovely Freya is leaving the tent.
Farewell to lovely Northern Freya. She’s definitely done herself proud and can leave with her head held high - her groundbreaking vegan confections held their own against contestants at least double her age, and hopefully will usher in plenty more vegan bakers in future years! Much to be proud of.
Star Baker is Guiseppe!
He’s riding high! He is also now tied with the once unbeatable Jürgen, both bakers now having two Star Bakers each. Could Chigs come up trumps next week, or is it (finally) going to be a worthy win for one of the other bakers?
Thank god. Or should that be “Gott sei Dank”.
The lebensmüde will certainly be kicking in. Quite literally, this means “life tired”, and I think it requires no further explanation. And yes, I’ve finally run out of German words on my list.
They’ve been away from home for nearly a fortnight. In the old pre-Covid days, being at home allowed them to have a bit of breathing space and feel just that bit more grounded.
Oh, Freya’s been crying. Bless her heart – remember that they’re filming two days on, two days off in a bubble away from their friends and family. It’s a lot to handle, even without Prue and Paul slagging off your bakes on national telly.
I bet that Giuseppe has won German Week, with that. Jürgen’s bake is liked, but not loved by Paul.
Well, Paul just tried to throw Giuseppe’s cake on the floor. Was this filmed around the same time as the Euros final? Perhaps he was taking it badly.
George. It just isn’t his week, even though it looks great.
Freya’s is underbaked. That could prove dangerous for her. Depends on how well it goes for George. Oh wait, his is raw.
Amanda’s looks like a bread roll on an oversized piece of sushi.
Chigs. He won’t get Star Baker again this week but his bakes are so consistent now. Another dark horse.
Crystelle’s sounds delicious (as always) – I feel like she’s bobbing along under the radar for the moment, but she’s consistently doing really well. I think she’s a dark horse.
It is the showstopper judging.
Isn’t a relief that these episodes are now only 75 minutes. My bed is calling me. It seems Noel’s has too, as he’s under the weather.
Well, that shot of Giuseppe filling his cake’s hole with cream was definitely something to think about during this ad break wasn’t it?
Real danger here as half the bakers have no idea if their bake is cooked through, while Lizzie’s bake currently lies in two.
To all the people yelling about tahini in the comments, we see you.
“Don’t bring your erratic behaviour over here”, muttered Lizzie off-camera - not realising that this is a dog whistle to our favourite Fielding who immediately came over to bother her.
Chigs and Jürgen having a competition of who can look the most alluring while staring into an oven.
A PLAGUE ON BOTH HIS BAKES!
Amanda’s carefully arranging her plums. Couldn’t go without an honourable mention now, could it?
Meanwhile Chigs is using handschuhe there to help make his decorations. What does handschuhe mean, you ask? Gloves, or quite literally, hand-shoes. (I’ve nearly finished my list of words, promise).
The worst part about practising these is that you have to practice in the wee hours as you don’t have 4.5 consecutive hours anywhere else in the day. PLUS the washing up takes hours in itself!
Update: George *was* married for 13 years.
Forbidden ingredient alert! George is using tahini and shall therefore be banished from my dream tent until he writes us a formal apology.
Meanwhile, Giuseppe is trying an Italian-themed cake during German Week. I love this show.
The Germans have the perfect word for someone who’s really, really getting on your wick: backpfeifengesicht, or literally, punching-bag-face. Jürgen’s dough is most certainly a backpfeifengesicht, isn’t it? (Yes, I’ll be shoehorning all of my German phrases in before 9pm).
It wasn’t the haulage crisis – Amanda’s Showstopper is why there are no raisins in your local supermarket.
Lizzie has decided to respond to accusations that she lacks finesse by throwing every colour she can think of at her bake. Hmm.
Incredible. Jürgen has single-handedly destroyed German Week in a single sentence. Production team left reeling.
“In Germany, you wouldn’t do a tiered yeasted cake,” says Jürgen, scalping the Bake Off challenge team. “It’s like asking for a three-tiered apple crumble”. Ouch.
Everyone seems a bit stressed and nobody seems to be having fun, which doesn’t make great television if I’m honest. And if the subtitles were working I would have made a meme out of Amanda saying: “It’s a bit of a faff, isn’t it?”
“It’s a bit of a faff, isn’t it”, says Amanda, summing up my feelings about this whole week.
Time to make yeast leavened cakes.
The two tiers are the yeast of their worries (I’m sorry).
Meanwhile Amanda and George are at the bottom. Who are you worried for? Let us know in the comments.
Giuseppe is unstoppable! The Europeans seem to be endlessly rising to the top this series, while the Brits fight to stay afloat. Some might make a political analogy out of this – but I’m not some.
Here are the rankings after the technical: 8. Amanda 7. Crystelle. 6. George. 5. Freya. 4. Jürgen 3. Lizzie. 2. Chigs. 1. Giuseppe!
Meanwhile George’s face speaks just one word, and I’m not sure I’m allowed to type it in this liveblog.
Chigs’s eyebrows speak a thousand words, don’t they? If you could hear them, they’d be saying “I hear what ur saying bruv but I fink I did alright innit cos we had like no time innit bruv dude”.
“It’s domed rather than flat”: me looking at myself sideways in the mirror.
On to the technical judging ...
Amanda’s jokes calm those nerves, don’t they.
Adding “chocolate” to the list of words I like listening to Giuseppe say.
Why on earth is George using a baking tray to pour his ganache please?
“It’s just a bit bubbly, not perfect.” Funnily enough, that’s the same review I’ve got from every guy who’s dated me this year.
Told you so.
Jürgen don’t whisk your ganache, it will go bubbly! Everyone will see!
A good point, extemely well made.
My heart did melt a little when his little glasses got a foggy when he opened the oven, though ❤️
Jürgen seems stressed this week. They’ve certainly thrown a lot at him, haven’t they. He’s quietly muttering “sponge, cream, sponge, cream” on an endless loop to nobody in particular.
He seems to have accepted the inevitable, having made an uneven mixture of crepes, poppadoms and placemats.
George seems to be finding it rather challenging this week, while also being the calmest George has ever been.
I don’t think I’ve ever noticed how tall Giuseppe is before this week? The tent’s very own BFG.
“Seven minutes then I’ll swap the top and the bottom”. Sounds about right, Giuseppe. Best to be fair.
“Gotta be at least a centimetre fick innit,” says Chigs, a Cockney geezer by way of Leicester.
This technical cake looks completely delicious. My mouth is watering.
Is genoise pronounced “gen-oh-eese”, or “gen-wahz”? I was made fun of for saying the latter by everyone in the tent my year, but here’s Prue opening up the can of worms again with her “wahz” ...
I was concerned that the lack of summer this year would have meant that the bakers making something in completely unsuitable weather conditions would not happen … but NO! It continues. Makes you proud to be British.
The technical this week is ..
Prinzregententorte, or Prince Regent’s Cake – eight layers of genoise sandwiched with chocolate custard and coated in ganache. Oh, and some tempered chocolate for good measure – in this heat!
Dessert Week called. It wants its heatwave back.
They have the fans out on the benches, it’s clearly a scorcher. Cue Scott (and the rest of Twitter) complaining about air conditioning.
In case you were wondering, Giuseppe has a handshake, Chigs has one and Jürgen has one too. That seems about right.
HANDSHAKE ALERT! Inevitable, really, but joyous.
*Will Jürgen get a handshake? Will Jürgen get a handshake? Will Jürgen get a handshake*
Bold from George to present some biscuits he knew in advance wouldn’t be cooked.
Ah, Amanda got a “worth every calorie” from Prue for her boozy biscuits. I need her recipe really badly.
Paul: “The mulled wine biscuits are nice. All 11 of them.”
*Amanda is outwardly smiling but internally screaming*
“I just love your Cheeky Girls,” says Prue. I was at a wedding the other week where the Cheeky Girls performed for a whole hour. Their repertoire consisted almost exclusively of other people’s songs with words occasionally replaced by “cheeky” – and I loved every second.
It wouldn’t be coffee in a Signature challenge without Freya adding 14 tablespoons of the stuff.
I’m not sure coffee and pecan is unusual, is it? Come along now, Paul.
It’s the Signature Judging.
I was tempted to attempt to write that sentence out in German but then I remembered that I did half of my German GCSE oral exam in French by accident.
Did some research on the German version of Bake Off and errrrrr ERRRRRMMMMMMMM...
Amanda has left her heart behind. Like me, with Maggie last week (stifled sob).
Ooh I like the way Giuseppe said “dribble”. Again, again!
“It’s spreading out,” says Amanda through gritted teeth – like me, when the person sitting next to me at work puts a piece of paper just over the line on to my desk.
24 biscuits is quite a lot of biscuits isn’t it. That’s 192 in total. Wild.
Noel to Lizzie (every single episode): “Are you excited for … [insert themed week / the challenge in question]?”
Lizzie: “No. Why would be excited for [insert themed week / the challenge in question]”
Maybe Amanda would be a better skier if she wasn’t sozzled the entire time? That said, I would like to eat her mulled wine jam with a spoon.
Alert! Chigs is baking horns! Remember what happened when they did that last year?
Chigs: “I’m going to ramp it up a little bit more.” Cue all the girls and gays at home fanning themselves.
“For their second batch, all the bakers have chosen to make almond paste biscuits” ... because that is literally the challenge.
It’s a good tactic, in my opinion. “Today it will taste average. But tomorrow. Tomorrow!”
As always, Crystelle’s flavours sound incredible. And, as always, George seems to have made a bad choice with a bake that needs two days to make properly.
Lizzie’s making the lesser known siblings to the Cheeky Girls in biscuit form, including apple and cardamom jam which sounds HEAVENLY.
To complement his gravy biscuits, Giuseppe is also making jammie dodgers – sorry, jammie biscuits.
Amanda’s using Gluhwein. Finally, a word I understand. Drink!
If you are missing Maggie, I made a video of Maggie being peak Maggie for you to fill the void. It includes her saying “one must be” like the Queen.
They’re all butchering the German language. Drink! Drink!
The signature this week is two batches of 12 German biscuits.
German efficiency – they only have two hours.
“How do you say good luck in German?” asks Crystelle. “Viel Glück,” says Jürgen. He then follows it up with a German expression that in English means “break your leg and break your neck.” Crystelle looks a bit peaky.
Let’s just give this all to Jürgen and save ourselves 74 minutes.
“Just another one of Jürgen’s weeks,” says Lizzie. “We’re all just here for the ride.” At least they’re aware of it too.
“What is German Week?” asks Amanda. Well I reckon, and I could be wrong, that it’ll be a week of German bakes. But it’s anybody’s guess!
Important update for anyone who relies on our liveblog whilst the subtitles aren’t working. You can now watch with subtitles on the Channel 4 website.
First week without Dame Maggie of Dorset, and I’m already bereft.
Same Prue, Same.
It wouldn’t be right to kick off without Bake Off Bingo, would it?
- An ‘Allo ‘Allo accent
- Prue’s eyebrows wiggling
- Unpronounceable bakes
- Amanda and George having a horrible time during the technical
- Giuseppe sailing through with no issues whatsoever
- Jürgen being Star Baker
And this week’s forbidden ingredient is … tahini! It’s wallpaper paste and I shan’t hear any different. Any bakers found using such a foul ingredient shall be eliminated from my dream tent.
As always, here is a little recap from last week’s episode:
- Jürgen still hasn’t received a handshake from Paul, but we did find out that he once baked a wedding cake consisting of two Star Trek Starship Enterprises kissing.
- Lizzie, a future CBeebies storyteller, came out with this straightforward explanation for her rosemary Easter pavlova: “When you think of Easter you think of baby lambs. You put rosemary on lambs.” The end.
- Dame Maggie of Dorset left the tent. This was after she forgot to add flour to her technical challenge and only realised five minutes before she presented a doughy brick to Paul. And, in her own lovely Maggie way, she really didn’t give a monkeys: “I made you a gluten-free sticky toffee pudding,” she quipped. An icon to us all.
Now, I always feel Bake Off can suffer from a bit of a mid-season lull. Hopefully this year’s batch won’t prove me right – plus German Week sounds like a lot of fun. I’ve also been learning some fun German words this week in preparation. Some of my favourites are:
- Innerer Schweinehund (literally: inner pig dog). You know when you’re lying on the sofa and can’t be bothered to hoover? That’s your inner pig dog talking.
- Kummerspeck (literally: grief bacon). The extra pounds you put on after eating ice-cream in bed, crying during a breakup? That’s grief bacon.
- Dudelsack (literally: yodel sack). Bagpipes!
Hello. Scotty here, and welcome to the Guardian’s Great British Bake Off liveblog. We’re already halfway through the series but also – terrifyingly – we’ve had all the familiar themed weeks, too. Cake Week? Done. Bread Week? Sorted. Dessert Week? Completed it mate. So alas, welcome to the first ever (and, as tradition connotes, usually last ever) German Week!