And, lo, it came to pass in 2020 that there was a “Lockdown Strictly”, and it was a fearsome bespangled fleet-footed showbiz beast, inspiring awe in all who beheld it.
As we approached the Strictly Come Dancing final, featuring comedian/musician Bill Bailey, 55, vowel-averse singer/YouTuber, HRVY, 19, EastEnders actress Maisie Smith, 19, and Made in Chelsea cast member/McVities heir, Jamie “Biscuits” Laing, 32, there was no denying it had been an invigorating but challenging season.
A shorter run, with no proper studio audience, contestants cheered each other on from the sidelines every week. Covid-wise, judges Shirley Ballas and Craig Revel Horwood made it all the way through the series, while Motsi Mabuse was temporarily absent, and Bruno Tonioli appeared via video link.
Strictly 2020 “moments” included former home secretary Jacqui Smith sadly proving to be “No Ed Balls” as she was voted off first, after dancing as though she had shoeboxes for hips. Both Bailey and Caroline Quentin tore up the Strictly rule-book by being older contestants who proved to be real contenders – Bailey flying the flag for “dad-dancers” across the nation. There was the usual Strictly-kerfuffle about “ringers” (people with previous dance experience), this time directed at Smith, who’d committed the cardinal sin of being an actress who’d attended stage school. Before having to leave for Covid reasons, boxer Nicola Adams and her partner Katya Jones cut a progressive rug as Strictly’s first same-sex dance couple.
And so to the final, aired the very night parts of the UK were plunged into the murk of tier 4 just in time for Christmas, and hosted by Tess Daly (rocking head-to-toe tinfoil) and Claudia Winkleman sporting an emo-themed ball gown. For the judge’s choice dances, HRVY and partner Janette Manrara reprised their exhilarating debut jive. Laing and Karen Hauer performed a charleston that came across as Ben Hur meets the Three Stooges. Bailey performed a quasi-cinematic quickstep with partner Oti Mabuse (last year’s winner with Kelvin Fletcher) and Smith and partner Gorka Marquez wriggled through an intricate samba.
For the show dances, Bailey performed an ambitious, dramatic dance, culminating, as befits the man who’d previously brought the music of Metallica to Strictly, in rock’n’ roll fireworks exploding from the end of his guitar. Smith produced a Hollywood fantasy dreamscape; HRVY transformed into a “Boogie Wonderland” disco-pretzel; and Laing frugged with the signature puppyish exuberance that has endeared him to Strictly audiences.
The couples’ dances included a top-hatted American Smooth from HRVY, followed by my personal stand-out of the night, Bailey’s foot-flicking interpretation of The Sugarhill Gang’s “Rapper’s Delight”. There was more silver-screen-style escapism from Smith, and a painfully energetic street-dance from Laing that may have reminded more mature viewers of Top Cat jumping into his dustbin.
While viewers mused over voting preferences, Adams and Jones returned for their very own showdance and Robbie Williams donned a gold sparkly jacket to croon a song from his Christmas album. At this point, I became delirious, hallucinating Paul McCartney and Idris Elba appearing on-screen, sitting together on a sofa, resembling out-of-work sports TV presenters, telling people how to use the voting system. (Oh sorry, this actually happened.)
Then came the result, and it was announced Bailey had won. Bravo to the oldest contestant to win Strictly and the UK’s undisputed king of dad dancers (though, in truth, Bailey was always far too good to be classed as a dad dancer). What a night, and a welcome glitzy antidote to the gloomy tier 4 “No Christmas for you, suckers” news. Congratulations to Bailey, and to lockdown Strictly. Despite everything, they ensured the show went on.
