TV highlights 12/12/13

Christmas Supermarket Secrets | The Silent War | There's Something About Susan | British Comedy Awards | Mummy's Little Murderer | The Big Christmas Reunion | Him & Her: The Wedding | International Test Cricket: Australia vs England

Christmas Supermarket Secrets
9pm, BBC1

Gregg Wallace wants to find out how supermarkets work at Christmas, so he's taking us behind the counters for a good nose around. He walks around a big shop forcing sprouts on pensioners, citing "the battle" to make sprouts popular. Busy people in depots stop work to show him their jobs while he tries to marvel noisily. "They're the international rescue of the food chain," barks Greg, trying to inject drama into a big room of conveyor belts. Pointless nonsense fronted by an emphatic new potato. Julia Raeside

The Silent War
9pm, BBC2

The story of the cold war beneath the waves reaches the 1980s, a time when Soviet technology caught up with the west. Bigger and more capable submarines were developed (thanks partly to a naval spy ring in the US) allowing the Reds to station nuclear weapons under the Arctic ice. As before, it's serious-minded submariners from both sides telling tales of secret missions, plus the American secretary of the navy taking credit for bankrupting the USSR by forcing them to spend heavily on their sub fleet. Martin Skegg

There's Something About Susan
9pm, ITV

Susan Boyle has suffered from anxiety her entire life. Which is why it's taken a wee while – a remarkable four years since Britain's Got Talent – for this documented first live solo tour to happen. In the interim, she's sold more than 20m records worldwide, so echoing auditoriums aren't something that need to concern her. Here, we see the mezzo-soprano preparing for sell-out concerts across Scotland and the US, with a world tour to follow in 2014. Brave lady. Ali Catterall

British Comedy Awards
9pm, Channel 4

Or rather the British TV Comedy Awards, where sitcoms and panel shows are championed rather than pure standups – fair enough, as this talent tends to lose out at the Baftas and elsewhere. With its unsentimental yet uncynical take on the news review, The Last Leg could well edge out Alan Carr and Graham Norton's efforts in the entertainment programme category; hospital sitcom Getting On has also done well with three noms, while many will be rooting for kids' hit Horrible Histories to be named best sketch show. Jonathan Ross hosts. Ben Beaumont-Thomas

Mummy's Little Murderer
9pm, Channel 5

This depressing documentary details the case of 20-year-old "spoilt rich boy" Elliot Turner, who strangled to death his 17-year-old girlfriend Emily Longley in Bournemouth in 2011. With testaments from police, the victim's parents and former acquaintances, his life as a provincial playboy is uncovered, along with the circumstances that led him towards brutal, premeditated murder, driven by his own jealousy. Just as shocking were the actions of his parents in trying to cover up his crime. Ben Arnold

The Big Christmas Reunion
9pm, ITV2

The nation's favourite pop has-beens, including Blue, Atomic Kitten and Liberty X, took a trip down memory lane for surprise reality hit The Big Reunion earlier in the year, and now they're back to put a festive spin on proceedings. With just two days in the recording studio, will the supergroup's version of I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday turn out to be a cracker or a turkey? Thankfully, it's all for charidee, with the bands spreading goodwill for the likes of Barnardo's and CLIC Sargent. Hannah J Davies

Him & Her: The Wedding
10pm, BBC3

The ceremony's over and now it's speeches o'clock, which is where the real-time glory of Laura and Paul's wedding truly comes into its own. Laura's dad waxes lyrical about her exes of "all shapes and sizes, all colours of the rainbow", and Paul's delivery of his speech about love is particularly uncomfortable when he catches the eye of the real object of his affection. But it's best man Steve who digs the deepest hole with his inappropriate jokes about the stag night. Lo-fi hilarity all round. Hannah Verdier

International Test Cricket: Australia vs England
2am, Sky Sports 2

The first two Tests of this Ashes series featured England performances so inept that they brought to mind the bad old days of the early-to-mid 90s. Hopefully they'll be out of that funk by the time this third Test rolls around. The bad news for England is that the Waca pitch is likely to be as lively as the Gabba, where a handlebar moustache-sporting Mitchell Johnson tormented the lacklustre tourists. Lanre Bakare

Contributors

Julia Raeside, Martin Skegg, Ali Catterall, Ben Beaumont-Thomas, Ben Arnold, Hannah J Davies, Hannah Verdier and Lanre Bakare

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