Camilla guests on The Archers: full transcript

Duchess of Cornwall makes her radio debut on BBC soap

This scene features HRH the Duchess of Cornwall, who plays herself; Caroline Sterling, owner of Grey Gables played by Sara Coward; and chef Ian Craig, played by Stephen Kennedy.

The Duchess discusses osteoporosis with Caroline whose uncle suffers from the disease. She also asks to meet the chef who prepared her tea.

CAROLINE: Poor Uncle Adrian, he wasn't managing too badly with his osteoporosis – then he fell and broke his ribs.

HRH: Poor man. Not many people realise that men are affected by osteoporosis as well as women. Is he in a lot of pain?

CAROLINE: His recovery's quite slow – too slow for him, anyway!

HRH: I know the feeling!

CAROLINE: He was always such an active chap. He was still riding till his early 70s!

HRH: He won't like it but I suppose he'll have to take things more carefully now.

CAROLINE: That's what we're all trying to tell him.

HRH: They are an amazing generation. Slowing down is not for them.

CAROLINE: No, it isn't! I'm sorry, can I offer you anything else your Royal Highness? More tea? Something to eat?

HRH: Oh no thank you. But the shortbread was delicious.

CAROLINE: Thank you! I'll tell the chef.

HRH: Maybe I could meet him later?

IAN: No. No, Caroline. I couldn't.

CAROLINE: But Her Royal Highness wants to meet you.

IAN: No –

CAROLINE: Ian, I don't think it's the sort of request you say 'no' to.

IAN: She can't have asked to meet me!

CAROLINE: Yes she did.

IAN: Look, if she wants the recipe, that's no problem. I'll write it down for her –

CAROLINE: That's not the point. She wants to hear it from you.

IAN: Caroline, please don't do this. I'll only let you down. Fall over my feet or something –

CAROLINE: You won't. She's lovely. It's just like talking to anyone else.

IAN: Well, it may be for you! Caroline, really, look, I'm begging you –

CAROLINE: And I'm telling you – come on. You can't keep her waiting!

CAROLINE: Your Royal Highness, may I present our chef, Ian Craig.

HRH: Ian. Hello. So sorry to drag you away from the kitchen.

IAN: How do you do, um, your Royal Highness.

HRH: So you're the genius with the shortbread.

IAN: Oh no, not at all, I wouldn't go - But, well, I'm glad that you've enjoyed your tea.

HRH: It was perfect, but the diet starts tomorrow! So where are you from originally?

IAN: I'm from Northern Ireland.

HRH: I would never have guessed! What brought you to Ambridge?

IAN: Well, I came to Grey Gables as a temp one Christmas. The initial booking was for three weeks and seven years later I'm still here.

HRH: Obviously Ambridge got its hooks into you.

IAN: One way or another, yes.

HRH: I can imagine that happens to a lot of people.

CAROLINE: Yes, I only came to help out at the pub. And that was over 30 years ago!

HRH: That's a lot of helping out.

CAROLINE: It is rather! I did get as far away as Bristol once ... but Ambridge lured me back.

HRH: I can totally understand that but sadly I shall have to tear myself away - I do have one or two other engagements today!

CAROLINE: Of course. It's been lovely having you here.

HRH: Thank you very much. It's been brilliant.

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