We Didn’t Come to Hell for the Croissants review – wonderfully weird cabaret of the unexpected

Riverside Studios, London
Jemma Kahn’s show begins with a striptease, then ponders existential questions before ending with an orgiastic dinner party

This peculiar and alluring act begins as burlesque: Jemma Kahn starts on a coy-eyed striptease, first her skirt and then the stockings, but things take an unexpected – comic, odd, compelling – turn.

More strange turns follow, from the seven stories she tells, all revolving around the deadly sins, to her absurdly savage mime involving a Beatles song, a silver hammer and an assortment of fruit.

Having travelled around the world from South Africa, this is a bizarre, camp, entertainingly unsettling show that serves up the unexpected. It is so arresting in its weirdness that at 70 minutes it leaves us slightly panting – not least because the final, eye-watering tale is like one of Anaïs Nin’s sexy stories, culminating in an orgiastic dinner party plus nipple tassels (there is a warning not to bring children and it should be heeded).

Jemma Kahn lifts a hammer over an apprehensive apple with googly eyes.
Unsettling … Jemma Kahn in We Didn’t Come to Hell for the Croissants. Photograph: Tristram Kenton/the Guardian

Kahn places the ancient Japanese art of kamishibai (paper theatre) at the centre, inserting pictorial panels illustrated by herself, Carlos Amato and Rebecca Haysom into a wooden block around which each story revolves. The effect is dainty and captivating. Exquisitely performed by Kahn and deftly directed by Lindiwe Matshikiza, the show sometimes looks like knockabout cabaret, aiming to please with its winks and its smut; at other times it verges on BDSM.

Several of the tales (written by Kahn alongside Nicholas Spagnoletti, Justin Oswald, Tertius Kapp, Rosa Lyster and Lebogang Mogashoa) abide by a dream logic, with a swirl of dark, Freudian undercurrents. An indolent teenager is abandoned by his parents and his attempt to survive ends in disaster; a cat inherits her owner’s wealth but comes a cropper after trying to eat a “gold” fish; a stalker’s obsessive desire comes mixed with a love of linguistics. The stories are short but they burrow into the mind, their meanings just out of reach – as a dream might feel on waking.

There is also a lesbian coming-out story and a fantastic satire on an inspirational talk (“The Gentle Art of Enemy Maintenance”), espousing the joy of hating. It is funny but contains existential questions on the meaning of life and the (positive?) value of negative emotions.

There is something mildly shocking and heady about this mix, and about this show. It is all over too soon: we feel as though we have been thrown delicious after-dinner morsels and we want more.

Contributor

Arifa Akbar

The GuardianTramp

Related Content

Article image
Edinburgh festival fringe 2011: Come to the cabaret

A bumper crop of cabaret acts will take to the stage this year in the largest Edinburgh festival fringe ever announced

Severin Carrell

09, Jun, 2011 @3:38 PM

Article image
Yummy: Iconic review – drag burlesque gets a bit too cheeky
The acrobatic feats of Jarred Dewey go some way to redeem a show that’s way too high on cliches and exposed buttocks

Brian Logan

18, Jul, 2022 @2:00 PM

Article image
Meow Meow's Little Mermaid review – cabaret star's sly, sequinned sendup
The Australian diva’s enjoyable tongue-in-cheek evening uses blow-up dolls and double entendres to deliciously subvert the fairytale of enduring love

Lyn Gardner

10, Aug, 2017 @5:01 PM

Article image
New York's most risque cabaret to open in London
Dancing vaginas and tales of off-stage excess have made The Box a sleazy Manhattan institution

Dominic Rushe in New York and Maev Kennedy

28, Jan, 2011 @7:52 PM

Article image
La Clique review – intimate alt cabaret full of giddy thrills
From a sword-swallowing fire-breather to high-risk rollerskaters and the Incredible Hula Boy, this is sexy, edgy, head-exploding stuff

Lyndsey Winship

19, Nov, 2021 @11:54 AM

Article image
The House Cabaret home invasion
House Cabaret are a theatre troupe who will come and perform in every room in your house. Laura Barnett reveals what happened when they hit the Guardian's Edinburgh HQ

Laura Barnett

15, Aug, 2010 @8:30 PM

Article image
Catherine Cohen review – stellar strychnine-laced cabaret
Cohen crackles with attitude as she serves up an alarming but entertaining song-and-chat about sex, love and self-image

Brian Logan

04, Aug, 2019 @12:03 PM

Article image
Barry Humphries' Weimar Cabaret review – sardonic, sexual, wonderfully done
In the company of Meow Meow and a raffish Australian Chamber Orchestra, Humphries reveals a lifelong love for music the Nazis banned as ‘degenerate’

Tim Ashley

31, Jul, 2016 @11:11 AM

Article image
Madame Jojo’s demolition approved as part of Soho redevelopment plans
Westminster council revoked the club’s licence this week, while Soho Estates’ plan for the area was approved in December 2013

Hannah Ellis-Petersen

28, Nov, 2014 @1:29 PM

Article image
What cabaret can teach traditional theatre

Lyn Gardner: It may have become a term of abuse on The X Factor, but as cabaret goes from strength to strength it's attracting some of our brightest talent

Lyn Gardner

22, Oct, 2012 @12:33 PM