There aren't many pantos that begin with a funeral – and fewer still in which that turns out to be the highlight of the show. This gothic and mournfully witty scene, set in a gloomy Birkenhead cemetery, turns out to be the classiest moment in this sub-standard festive offering. The show stars Paul O'Grady's waspish creation, Lily Savage, as widowed mum Lily Twankey, whose husband leaves her nothing but a laundry on the "street of a thousand scrubbers" in Peking.
Alas, the production doesn't go on with the confidence with which it starts, lurching into treacherous territory between lacklustre panto and an undernourished musical. It appears fatally oblivious to the inadequacy of its uncredited script (presumably nobody wanted their name associated with it).
There is little for the children, an underpowered comic double act, and if Savage wonders out loud what she's doing in "an upturned wok" in north Greenwich, then it looks from their performances as if some of the other participants are having similar doubts. The pop-up tented venue within the O2 is as cheerless as an A&E waiting room on Boxing Day.
Although seldom living up to her name, Savage is the best thing in an evening that lasts almost as long as King Lear, but with fewer laughs. She wears some fabulous frocks, does a terrific sendup of Marlene Dietrich, and is at her caustic best when she goes off-script to lambast Starbucks and Amazon. The only real competition is from two cute panto elephants and a flying carpet, which briefly whisks a personality-free Aladdin (former S Club 7 member Jon Lee) out over the auditorium.
If you saw Chitty Chitty Bang Bang in the West End, you've seen the trick before. And with so much classy panto on offer in London this year, there are far better bets for making your theatrical wishes come true.
