Deontay Wilder's attempt to blame defeat on 40lb costume carries little weight | Marina Hyde

The heavyweight’s comments after his loss to Tyson Fury are best euphemised as misjudged – but he is not the first boxer to be pilloried for offering up a bizarre excuse

Can anyone confirm whether there’s a possibility Deontay Wilder may have suffered a bump to the head of late? However outlandish that theory may initially seem, it is one we have to work on after the heavyweight addressed the circumstances of his defeat byTyson Fury in Las Vegas in an interview best euphemised as misjudged.

According to Wilder, whose team threw in the towel in the seventh round, he has an entirely understandable excuse. “He didn’t hurt me at all,” this ran. “But the simple fact is that my uniform was too heavy for me.” The reference is to Wilder’s ring-walk costume, which was a typically ornate affair, this time worn for Black History Month – and which, according to Wilder, weighed well over 40 pounds what with “the helmet and all the batteries”. He’d only tried it on for the first time the night before. “I didn’t have no legs from the beginning of the fight,” he reflected. “In the third round, my legs were just shot all the way through … I knew I didn’t have the legs because of my uniform.”

So there you go. In some ways, it’s a story as old as troubled kingship itself. Uneasy is the head that wears the 40lb multibattery-operated Black History Month costume, and all that.

In other ways it’s a puzzle Wilder has gone for this line of mitigation. When David Haye claimed his 2011 defeat by Wladimir Klitschko was down to a broken little toe, he was widely pilloried, despite standing on a table to display the toe in question for the cameras. Wilder may or may not have been aware of this pillorying when he produced his own whys-and-wherefores.

Then again there is still time for him to reveal a broken little toe’s part in his downfall on Saturday night and thus unify the biggest excuses in boxing. Arguably that would also involve some kind of rehash of Mike Tyson’s 10th-round KO by Buster Douglas in Tokyo in 1990. That, you might recall, was credited by Tyson to the excesses of his sexual diet. Or as Mike put it: “I was fucking them Japanese girls like I was eating grapes.”

Other results have been ascribed by the disappointed parties to grooming products – unguents, pomades and so on. In 2012 Alexander Povetkin accounted for his disappointing (yet fortunate) points victory against Marco Huck with the explanation his eyes were watering because of the stench of whatever olfactory kryptonite his opponent had covered himself in, while Kermit Cintrón only achieved a somewhat questionable draw against Sergio Martínez in 2009 because he was made “dizzy” by the quantity of hair gel and mousse worn by Martínez.

Back to Wilder, though, who has more detail on the troublesome costume. “I wanted my tribute to be great for Black History Month,” he said. “I wanted it to be good and I guess I put that before anything.” Before a £60m heavyweight boxing match? It is certainly not for any of us to downplay the importance of Black History Month and any related tribute but a heavyweight boxing match is one of the things it’s unwise to put said tribute before. Other such things may include an oncoming freight train, an advancing tsunami, the onset of blitzkrieg in the Ardennes in May 1940, or a simple 20,000-strong cavalry charge. Those are some of the things your outfit has to play second fiddle to. Anything else is going to end up being a false economy.

Furthermore, given his team threw in the towel, is it wise for Wilder to blame an outfit at all? Wilting under the weight of one’s own clothes is a distinctly Monty Burns vibe. The essential weakness of Springfield’s local mogul has been shown in many ways down the years. There’s one time he tries to crush an ant under his shoe, only for the insect to resist, push back and eventually topple him over, prompting Burns to howl “Take my wallet and leave me alone!” at his vanquisher. On another occasion, a sponge is placed on Mr Burns’s stomach in the bath, causing him to plunge beneath the surface and nearly drown. These and other incidents may be an acceptable look for an evil town tycoon. Whether it is an optimal one for a heavyweight boxer feels more debatable.

Either way, other experts are dialling in, such as Melissa Anglesea, the creative director of the label that designed Fury’s ring-walk costume. Melissa, who acts as if she analyses the impact of Black History Month costumes on prizefighters all day long, says of Wilder’s look that “a three-stone costume makes absolutely no ounce of difference”.

For his part, the victorious Fury conserved his energy by declining to use his legs at all when being borne to the ring on a throne – technically known as the Mariah Carey approach. Mariah, a Proper Celebrity, is frequently wheeled to the stage on which she is appearing. For her Las Vegas appearances in 2017, she spent a significant part of the actual concert being borne aloft by six male dancers on a chaise longue, from which supine position she can still somehow hit her five-octave range. It’s a look that says to one’s fans: “You don’t mind if I don’t get up, do you?”

You wouldn’t catch Mariah approaching any Vegas arena exceeding her baggage allowance – indeed, as someone who famously doesn’t “do” stairs and has an assistant to put her straw into her mouth, it’s very noble of her to hold her own microphone at all.

As for Wilder, he’s still insisting he’ll trigger the rematch with Fury. So in the spirit of artistes learning from other artistes, perhaps he could take tips from Mariah when that event comes to pass?

Sign up to The Recap, our weekly email of editors’ picks.

Marina Hyde wins two SJA awards in landmark achievement

Contributor

Marina Hyde

The GuardianTramp

Related Content

Article image
Tyson Fury expects Deontay Wilder rematch rather than Joshua showdown
Tyson Fury is ‘almost sure’ he will face Deontay Wilder for a third time rather than Anthony Joshua in an all-British four-belt unification fight

Bryan Armen Graham at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas

23, Feb, 2020 @10:23 AM

Article image
Where does Deontay Wilder v Tyson Fury stand in boxing’s pantheon? | Kevin Mitchell
A surfeit of heavyweight titles and champions since the days of Muhammad Ali v George Foreman or Joe Frazier means the sport has fallen from the forefront of public attention

Kevin Mitchell

30, Nov, 2018 @5:59 PM

Article image
Deontay Wilder talks tough after brooding buildup to Tyson Fury fight | Donald McRae
American says he has improved since defeat against Fury in 2020 and his ability to overcome adversity may stand him in good stead

Donald McRae

06, Oct, 2021 @2:44 PM

Article image
Tyson Fury and Deontay Wilder on make-or-break collision course | Bryan Armen Graham
The two heavyweights clash in Los Angeles in a fight fans hope will begin to bring greater clarity to the division

Bryan Armen Graham in Los Angeles

30, Nov, 2018 @11:00 PM

Article image
Tyson Fury and Deontay Wilder both weigh in at heaviest of their careers
Tyson Fury at 277lb and Deontay Wilder at 238lb will go into Saturday’s second rematch in Las Vegas after a brief staredown at the weigh-in

Bryan Armen Graham in Las Vegas

08, Oct, 2021 @10:37 PM

Article image
Tyson Fury after Deontay Wilder win: ‘I’m the greatest heavyweight of my era’
Tyson Fury says he is the ‘greatest heavyweight of my era’ after beating Deontay Wilder to retain his WBC title

Bryan Armen Graham at the T-Mobile Arena in Las Vegas

10, Oct, 2021 @10:01 AM

Article image
Deontay Wilder’s right hand is firmer than plans to fight Joshua | Kevin Mitchell
The WBC heavyweight champion Deontay Wilder’s destruction of Dominic Breazeale was bookended by grim gutter talk and a sketchy future fight schedule

Kevin Mitchell

20, May, 2019 @2:35 PM

Article image
Deontay Wilder the shortcut as Tyson Fury opts for a one-off gamble | Kevin Mitchell
Former heavyweight champion Tyson Fury eschews Eddie Hearn’s slow route back to the top in favour of a quick shot at the jackpot in Las Vegas

Kevin Mitchell

20, Aug, 2018 @2:25 PM

Article image
‘People’s champion’ Tyson Fury evokes memories of Muhammad Ali era | Kevin Mitchell
The Mancunian’s display against Deontay Wilder has complicated the immediate future of the heavyweight division

Kevin Mitchell

03, Dec, 2018 @5:27 PM

Article image
Tyson Fury knocks out Deontay Wilder to win WBC heavyweight crown
Tyson Fury defeated Deontay Wilder to capture the WBC heavyweight championship on Saturday night at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas

Bryan Armen Graham at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas

23, Feb, 2020 @9:20 AM