More awareness and support needed after miscarriage | Letter

Charlotte Tew writes about feeling isolated and the lack of adequate medical care for those who have lost a baby

A huge thank you for publishing the podcast about baby loss and miscarriage (Today in Focus, 9 August). My husband and I are currently experiencing our third loss, after the stillbirth of our baby boy and a previous miscarriage, and I felt relief to hear a story like mine in a national newspaper.

Despite our losses, we have also been told to keep trying and that there is most likely “no reason”, with normal tests and results, and that our son, who died in the womb at 25 weeks, was perfectly “normal”. The stigma around this conversation has also been a struggle and we often feel isolated among friends who haven’t experienced loss or miscarriage. I remember thinking after my first loss, if this is so common why do I never hear about it? The mental and physical health battles are very real and, because of a lack of understanding on the subject, people are ill-equipped to support and comfort us in this journey.

Then there’s the lack of medical understanding, which leads to anger and frustration that we are not being listened to and that until we reach the magic number three, there is no support. What’s more, even after the third loss, 50% of the time there isn’t much doctors can do anyway. It feels hopeless.

There needs to be greater emphasis on why miscarriages happen, with real research, and more confidence in the newer medicines available. First-time pregnancies also need to be taken more seriously, as I have discovered so many losses happen to women in their first pregnancy.

Thank you for opening up the conversation. I hope it continues.
Charlotte Tew
Harlow, Essex

Have an opinion on anything you’ve read in the Guardian today? Please email us your letter and it will be considered for publication.

Letters

The GuardianTramp

Related Content

Article image
An injection of hope for pregnant women | Letter
Letter: Molly Warrington welcomes the news that women at risk of miscarriage may now be helped by progesterone injections

Letters

28, Nov, 2021 @4:50 PM

Article image
How can every mind matter in a broken mental health system? | Letters
Letters: Readers respond to the launch of the NHS Every Mind Matters campaign and share their thoughts on other mental health issues

Letters

09, Oct, 2019 @4:29 PM

Article image
Health visitors are crucial for families | Letters
Letters: Mental illness such as post-natal depression is helped by home visits from a specialist community public health nurse, writes Woody Caan

Letters

07, Oct, 2020 @4:13 PM

Article image
Doctors call on NHS to offer women more help after first miscarriage
Current rules state support only has to be provided to those who have had three unsuccessful pregnancies

Denis Campbell Health policy editor

19, Oct, 2021 @1:07 PM

Article image
Warmer words might help us to deal with the pain of miscarriage | Letters
Letters: Rosie Toothill, Mike Corcoran and Shirley Harrington respond to Katy Lindemann’s article about the grief of losing a baby being compounded by insensitive language

Letters

12, Oct, 2018 @3:45 PM

Article image
Why are women who don’t have children still so judged? | Letters
Letters: Readers respond to an article about a chasm of understanding that can exist between mothers and childless women

12, Apr, 2023 @4:56 PM

Article image
Monzo bank to offer employees paid leave after pregnancy loss
Either partner can take up to 10 days’ leave after miscarriage, stillbirth or abortion in UK digital bank’s policy

Kalyeena Makortoff Banking correspondent

10, May, 2021 @5:00 AM

Article image
Women not receiving NHS support after miscarriage, say campaigners
Pregnancy and baby loss charity Tommy’s says 20% of women experience PTSD after miscarriage

Rachel Hall

02, Aug, 2021 @4:28 PM

Article image
Reframe how we talk about miscarriage | Letter
Letter: Jean Simons on the Duchess of Sussex’s experience and how we can start a conversation about grief or loss

Letters

30, Nov, 2020 @5:09 PM

Article image
Against compulsory MMR vaccination and for looking after new mothers | Letters
Letters: Prof Arne Akbar, president of the British Society for Immunology, says compulsory vaccination is a blunt tool which could increase health inequities and alienate parents. Plus Prof Helen Stokes-Lampard and others call for a funded postnatal medical appointment at six to eight weeks specifically to assess new mothers’ physical and mental health

Letters

13, Sep, 2019 @4:01 PM