A huge thank you for publishing the podcast about baby loss and miscarriage (Today in Focus, 9 August). My husband and I are currently experiencing our third loss, after the stillbirth of our baby boy and a previous miscarriage, and I felt relief to hear a story like mine in a national newspaper.
Despite our losses, we have also been told to keep trying and that there is most likely “no reason”, with normal tests and results, and that our son, who died in the womb at 25 weeks, was perfectly “normal”. The stigma around this conversation has also been a struggle and we often feel isolated among friends who haven’t experienced loss or miscarriage. I remember thinking after my first loss, if this is so common why do I never hear about it? The mental and physical health battles are very real and, because of a lack of understanding on the subject, people are ill-equipped to support and comfort us in this journey.
Then there’s the lack of medical understanding, which leads to anger and frustration that we are not being listened to and that until we reach the magic number three, there is no support. What’s more, even after the third loss, 50% of the time there isn’t much doctors can do anyway. It feels hopeless.
There needs to be greater emphasis on why miscarriages happen, with real research, and more confidence in the newer medicines available. First-time pregnancies also need to be taken more seriously, as I have discovered so many losses happen to women in their first pregnancy.
Thank you for opening up the conversation. I hope it continues.
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