Gary Younge’s excellent piece on the similarities of Trump and the Brexiters (Trump and the Brexiters must own the mess they lied us into, 11 January) is a reminder of the similar underlying psychological processes at work.
The pattern is clinically well known and exemplifies one response to attachment insecurity seen first when children are younger than two. The possibility of showing this response is built into our species after millennia of evolution. That response is called the ambivalently insecure strategy and the child is essentially thinking (unconsciously), “if I keep my parent’s attention on me I shall be safe and won’t die”. Because young children without caretakers die, the child becomes attention-seeking by demanding (“do what I want!”) or whingeing (“poor little me”). When stressed, the child is egocentric and their perceptions of others are distorted by their emotional needs. As time goes on, this often develops into bullying of weaker people and claiming victimhood when firmly confronted (“it’s not fair, you’re being mean to me”). The distorting of reality develops into lying. Such people, when in this state, find it difficult to be objective or to cooperate, and they try to control others to their own ends. This frequently leads to their groups fracturing (Trump administration, Ukip) or to them being surrounded by cowed “yes men”.
The treatment of such behaviour in children is a mixture of the adults trying to develop rewarding interactions and relationships to boost the child’s security, self-esteem and confidence to cooperate and be objective, with the implicit message that they will always be welcome, while at the same time being uncompromisingly firm on some issues. The adult is more powerful. The EU, more powerful than the UK, is to be congratulated for taking this generous approach to the insecure behaviour of the Brexiters and to those who have, almost Stockholm-syndrome-like, been panicked into being Brexit supporters.
Dr John Richer
Oxford
• I was struck by the photos of Nigel Farage’s followers (On the road with the people’s army, Weekend, 12 January). They had an expression of adoration on their faces which I associate with the followers of David Koresh in the recent documentary about that messianic figure. But I have a question: how is it that Mr Farage allows everyone to pronounce his surname in that Frenchified way? Surely if he is so very British, his name should be pronounced to rhyme with “garage” and “porridge”, in the English way?
Mary Montaut
Bray, Co Wicklow, Ireland
• Join the debate – email guardian.letters@theguardian.com
• Read more Guardian letters – click here to visit gu.com/letters
• Do you have a photo you’d like to share with Guardian readers? Click here to upload it and we’ll publish the best submissions in the letters spread of our print edition
