Harry Styles believes that children are the future

The former 1D man breaks all the boyband rules and heaps praise on his original fans, their musical taste and ambitions – and seals his success for all time

Name: Harry Styles.

Age: 23.

Appearance: The next David Bowie.

What? Really? No, of course not. That’s just something people said after hearing his debut solo single, before they realised it actually sounded like something Oasis left off Be Here Now for being too bloated.

What’s a better description, then? How about “man with guaranteed massive devoted fanbase until the very day he dies”?

Is that likely? Sure is. Listen, what’s the first thing boyband members usually do after the group breaks up?

Slag off their boyband? Correct! Think of Robbie Williams singing a punked-up version of Take That’s Back for Good on a motorised toilet, or Zayn Malik revealing he “wasn’t 100% behind [One Direction’s] music”.

Oh no. Has Harry said something awful about One Direction? Here’s the thing – he hasn’t. In fact, he has vigorously defended their fans.

Has he? Yep. In a Rolling Stone interview with Cameron Crowe, Harry was asked if he wanted to be credible to people other than young girls. He replied: “Who’s to say that young girls who like pop music – short for popular, right? – have worse musical taste than a 30-year-old hipster guy? That’s not up to you to say … How can you say young girls don’t get it? They’re our future. Our future doctors, lawyers, mothers, presidents, they kind of keep the world going.”

Blimey, well played. He’s even going for their mums. He describes his new single, Sign of the Times, as being about a difficult birth: “The mother is told: ‘The child is fine, but you’re not going to make it.’ The mother has five minutes to tell the child: ‘Go forth and conquer.’”

Wow. How does she do that? The lyrics include the lines: “Why are we always stuck and running from the bullets?” so you tell me.

She doesn’t think that running away from bullets is a good idea? I know. Running away from bullets is a brilliant idea. She sounds like a rubbish mum, to be honest.

What advice would you give your newborn child, then? “Always refer to women as future presidents in interviews.” Apparently, it works a treat.

Do say: “Harry Styles is going to be the smartest, biggest pop star on the planet.”

Don’t say: “Seriously, though, do try to run away from bullets wherever possible.”

Pass notes

The GuardianTramp

Related Content

Article image
How one fan's erotic fantasies about Harry Styles became a publishing goldmine
One Direction fan Anna Todd's online fan fiction about the adventures of 'dirty Harry' has been read 800m times and won her a six-figure book deal, with a film in the pipeline

22, Jun, 2014 @5:00 PM

Article image
Gucci and chips: the St Albans fish shop that’s set to become a Harry Styles pilgrimage site
The Italian fashion brand channelled Britishness by filming the singer at a humble chippy. But what did the locals make of it?

Morwenna Ferrier

15, Jun, 2018 @5:16 PM

Article image
Right plaice, right time: the fish bar that netted £20K for a Gucci shoot with Harry Styles
One St Albans takeaway owner was the latest lucky person to discover that hiring out your house or business can be a tidy earner

Emine Saner

07, Mar, 2018 @5:49 PM

Article image
Harry Styles thinks ‘people like him’ don’t get awards? That’s daft – but it’s not evil | Arwa Mahdawi
Styles’ clumsy Grammy remarks surely don’t deserve all the vitriol they have attracted

Arwa Mahdawi

07, Feb, 2023 @11:50 AM

Article image
When Harry met Harry! The man who put Harry Styles in a dress
Stylist Harry Lambert is behind the singer’s subversive, androgynous style and Emma Corrin’s balloon bra, and has even convinced football clients to carry glittery pink handbags. He explains why fashion for men is changing

Morwenna Ferrier

26, May, 2022 @5:00 AM

Article image
From me to you – the pop stars who’ve broken the Beatles’ chart records
Niall Horan is the third former One Direction member to notch up a US solo No 1, matching Lennon, McCartney and Harrison. But Ringo and Paul can at least console themselves with the dozens of others they still hold …

Dave Simpson

31, Oct, 2017 @4:16 PM

Article image
Rise up, remoaners! Harry Styles is your new hero
The ex-One Direction singer has really stuck his neck out on behalf of the 48%

Stuart Heritage

18, May, 2017 @4:16 PM

Article image
Can Harry Styles in makeup persuade men to put on the slap?

The One Direction heart-throb is proudly seen wearing lipstick, but will it be enough to convince other men that it's just the thing?

Michael Hogan

21, Aug, 2013 @4:07 PM

Article image
Harry Styles can get away with wearing a skirt. But can I?
Yes, a man can rock a skirt on the catwalk or the red carpet – but what if your natural habitat is the greasy spoon or street market? Time to slip into that slitted maxi …

Rhik Samadder

11, Jul, 2022 @11:00 AM

Article image
Loom bands – the rubber bracelet craze sweeping the nation's playgrounds

Weaved into fish tails, railroads, dragon scales, and inverted hexafish, the humble rubber band has become a major fad – and an accessory for stars from Miley Cyrus and Harry Styles to David Beckham and the Duchess of Cambridge

25, Jun, 2014 @11:57 AM