The first single I ever bought
Pray by Take That. I was 11 years young and marched straight down to HMV for the CD single. I’m not proud of myself but, come on, I was 11! I probably didn’t even have any pubes. My favourite member? The little one – I can’t even remember his name. [PR chips in] Oh, Mark! The little one! They were the original boyband. [PR chips in] Come on, they shat all over East 17! Boyz II Men?! [Lively debate ensues] Take That ruled the world – I’m not budging.
My karaoke go-to
I’m absolutely not a karaoke person, but I’m going for Don’t Leave Me This Way, the version [by Harold Melvin & the Blue Notes] with Teddy Pendergrass. You really feel his agony, and he’s also very attractive. It’s super funky, super soulful, and it’s slightly within the realms of me being able to sing it.
The song that made my best-ever gig experience
I’m very lucky: my sister’s in a band [Brody Dalle of the Distillers] and I often get to go backstage. This time it was the White Stripes in London and, when they sung Jolene, it blew my socks off. It’s so haunting. You feel Jack White’s pain, his angst – and I love how he hasn’t changed the pronouns. It’s one of those songs that goes straight through you. Not like diarrhoea! Like a bullet.
Best song to have sex to
Keep It Up by Milton Wright. Of course it depends on the sort of sex you’re having; there’s lots of different types: cuddly sex, naughty tie-me-up sex – different strokes for different folks. But I think I could have quite quite a lot of different types of sex to this one one. Plus it’s absolutely one of my favourite tracks in the world, a Desert Island Disc. Desert Island Dick, ha ha!
The song I’d want for my entrance music
Whole Lotta Money by BIA and Nicki Minaj – in an ironic way, in some kind of character, preferably in slow motion with a wind machine, please. And some really cool sneakers, so I look like I’m down with the kids. Just for when I’m going into Pret to get my sandwich.
The song I want played at my funeral
Planet Caravan by Black Sabbath feeds my soul – it’s so otherworldly. When you die and move on to another realm, it would be the perfect thing to serenade you. People forget what a legend Ozzy Osbourne was before he was on TV all the time, going on about: “There’s dog mess all over the house.”
The song I pretend to hate that I secretly like
Take My Breath Away by Berlin. I blame Top Gun. I was about five when Top Gun came out and – this sounds wrong – I used to pause it when Iceman came on and snog the telly.
My favourite song of all time
Right Down the Line by Gerry Rafferty. I actually got a boy back with that song. He was really bad to me, I told him to go away, I didn’t speak to him for months then sent him that track – and he cried. He was over in two shakes of a lamb’s tail. He can bugger off now, but me and one of my best friends play it all the time.
My favourite song right now
Dreamflower by Tarika Blue, a funky fusion band from the 1970s. It’s so dreamy and blissed out – listen to it mid-bottle of wine or a spliff or whatever you’ve got to hand and just chill.
All three episodes of Newark, Newark are now available as a box set on Sky, Now and Virgin.