Tracks of the week reviewed: Haim, Ariana Grande, Iggy Pop

This week we’ve got some anti-ASMR, a bit of spiteful pop brilliance, and a funky three-note bass riff

Summer Girl

We will get to the song in a sec, but can I just take a moment to point out that this is the most stressful video I’ve seen in my entire life? Haim, right, presumably a bit warm, take off jackets, coats and jumpers, before a cutaway replenishes the supply, so they take those off too; the process repeating, more jumpers, more layers, never cooling down, always too warm, endless woollens. It’s like anti-ASMR. It makes you scream: “GODDAMN WHEN WILL YOU REACH BRAS” out loud at work, like some rampant open-plan perv-wretch. But all you wanted – ALL YOU EVER WANTED – was for Haim to be comfy, and cool. Of optimal temperature. Security have just arrived to escort me from the building, so quickly: the song. It’s really good. Imagine Drinking in LA cadging a fiver from Walk on the Wild Side in an alleyway and you’ve basically already heard it.

Ariana Grande ft Social House

There is no more universal emotion than not wanting someone yourself, but not wanting anyone else to have them either. It’s part of what makes us the worst species on the planet. Ariana’s turned this into a marvellously syrupy TLC-circa-1996 sex-jam, which captures the futility of it all, but also the fun bits. Its Calvins are only slightly soiled by Social House’s insistence on levels of Auto-Tune that would make Kanye vomit. NB: I can 100% confirm this is the only video this week in which Ariana Grande impales a woman to a door using a bow and arrow.

Iggy Pop
James Bond

Post Pop Depression was such a success that many hoped Iggy would hang up his wig [note from our lawyers: Not a Wig] and retire. Why not bow out, at 69, on the best album of your career? Well, this is why. A simple-as-they-come three-note bass riff is all Iggy needs to croon a sultry, seedy ode to a woman who remains a rousing mystery. Great, funky, only 28% creepy.

Angel Olsen
All Mirrors

If a cocktail of one part Kate Bush and one part Take My Breath Away sounds like your tipple, here you go. Bottoms up.

Death Cab for Cutie
Kids in 99

A precis: kids in 99 were the absolute worst. Scum of the earth, honestly. The combined olfactory wallop of BO, Joop and Impulse body spray meant they all stank like someone farting through a gym sock full of Glade Plug Ins. They had stupid haircuts, like curtains, or those gel-hard antennae girls liked for some reason. And they dressed almost exclusively in Kappa. But you know what they weren’t, ever? Even when they were standing there, with their rank spots and their crap little pagers? Boring. Conversely, this song is very, very boring.


Luke Holland

The GuardianTramp

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