MNEK: ‘The tent thing is not going to happen’

The singer-songwriter shares his festival thoughts on Noel Gallagher’s questionable opinions on rap and height-related tent woes

You’re a tall man. How do you feel about sleeping in a tent?
It’s just not what I’m made to do [laughs]. It’s not practical. The tent thing is not going to happen.

If you dropped your phone down a festival toilet, would you attempt to retrieve it?
Abso-fucking-lutely. I love my tech. That’s the whole thing with camping, I’m too much of a millennial; I want my gadgets.

Rita Ora asks to use your last set of wet wipes after chomping a dodgy hotdog. What do you do?
Oh my God. I’d give her a wipe, I suppose. A person in need and all that.

If you could curate your own festival lineup using only former boyband members, who would be the three headliners?
Lee Ryan from Blue because he can sing his face off. I’d go with Dane Bowers. Now I need someone for the culture … Maybe Jade from Damage.

Noel Gallagher once said something stupid about hip-hop at festivals. Do you think his views have changed at all?
He comes from the mindset of [snooty accent] “Real music is rock’n’roll, what are these black artists doing?” That’s how I’ve viewed his rants.

Sam Smith is chilly. Would you lend him a jumper?
Yeah, but he’s always in suits! If anything, I’ll need his jacket. I’ll be the cold one because I’ll definitely be in something skimpier than him.

Your new single is called Tongue. Have you ever snogged anyone at a festival?
I snogged my ex, but I haven’t gone as far as ho-ing at a festival. Ho-ing? Just kicking up on every man, doing extracurricular festivities.

MNEK plays Mighty Hoopla, Parklife and RiZe


Michael Cragg

The GuardianTramp

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