This week’s tracks reviewed: Christine and the Queens, Justin Timberlake, Raye

Christine puts a thumping bass line on a song about faith, Justin pitches for a car ad, and Raye gives a clarion call to women everywhere

Christine and the Queens
Doesn’t Matter

In my opinion, all pop music should sound as if a static speaker is about to disintegrate you into a million atoms, so the dark, ominous “mwooooow” that runs through Doesn’t Matter makes it basically the most perfect song of the year. Chris – as the French singer-songwriter has adjusted her stage name to – says this is a “crisis song” about the existence of God. But does that stop it from absolutely slapping? No, it does not!


I know there are some lyrics you like to think you relate to, that you have tattooed on your arm and use for Instagram captions. They give you goosebumps in those small, lonely, emotional moments. But all lyrics are crap, sorry. Apart from Raye’s latest, which are great. “We could’ve been friends,” she sings, through a real “this spin class is a bit hectic, isn’t it?” beat. “Well … maybe not best friends.” More italics in pop lyrics, please.

Ella Mai ft Nicki Minaj and Quavo
Boo’d Up (Remix)

No more! I call a moratorium on it! No one is allowed to use that iPhone default ringtone in a song again! This is a good song and a decent remix! Nicki Minaj is on it to make up for those two songs she did that everyone broadly ignored! Quavo is on it because he’s on everything! But the ringtone sample keeps tricking me into picking my phone up! I am going to scream until the summer turns into autumn again!

Justin Timberlake

I suppose it’s small comfort, but if you subscribe to the idea that every cell in the body regenerates and is replaced at least once over a seven-year period, and so you are (wholesale) a completely different person from the one you were in 2011, then the Justin Timberlake who gave us Justified and FutureSex/LoveSounds no longer exists. As such, this guy who wears plaid shirts and sings car commercial stuff about soulmates is actually a different person entirely, and we can reconcile it like that.

Jonas Blue ft Joe Jonas
I See Love

You want me to tell you how this sounds to prevent you from having to listen to it, so: it sounds like the scrolling credits sequence on an animated film for children where all the squidgy and monstrous main characters dance together in a haunting celebration of love, made by two men who decided to collaborate because a music exec got them confused and CC’d them in on the same email. Awful.


Joel Golby

The GuardianTramp

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