TRACK OF THE WEEK
Dave
Question Time
Streatham rapper Dave is 19 years old – an age most of us spent drunk on Smirnoff Ice, improving our lap time around Bowser’s Castle on Mario Kart and moaning about the speed of our parents’ internet connection. Instead, Dave has written an eloquent, scathing seven-minute-long breakdown of everything wrong with British politics: Theresa May’s panicked ineptitude, the events leading to the Grenfell Tower tragedy, and the government’s mistreatment of the NHS. His harshest words are saved for David Cameron – “You fucked us, resigned, then sneaked out the firing line.” As 19-year-olds probably don’t say any more: savage.
Mabel
Begging
Mabel is not having it, crap boyfriends. She’s not turning up to the club only for you to ghost her, she’s not being ignored, you can’t be “so self-obsessed for months/ You couldn’t even love me once”. She wants to “see you on your knees/ Wanna see you begging”. But can you, er, not? Because there’s no way the followup (Oh You Actually Did It I Guess We’ll Get Back Together Then) will be as sassy or soulful a bop as this.
MY
Skeletons
This should be amazing: MY, AKA Swedish pop star My Helmner, has a voice like Paramore’s Hayley Williams and Skeletons follows the Carly Rae Jepsen template of “upbeat 80s pop with super-miserable lyrics”. Unfortunately, it falls a bit flat: like sleeping with someone who looks like your ex but, halfway through, realising they’re no replacement for the real thing. Come back, Carly Rae Jepsen! We’ll change! We’ll do anything! We miss you!
Craig David
For the Gram
Now literally everything is “for the gram” – don’t say people are still going on holiday for “memories” or “experiences” or “culture”, ugh – Craig David has made the most 2017 track ever and imagined a dystopian future where all human interaction is pointless unless it’s on the internet. Aside from the chorus, which sounds as if it was written while Craig was waiting for a mate to Instagram their brunch, the worst bit is when he threatens to speak in emoji. We’re only about three months away from that, aren’t we?
Chris & Kem
Little Bit Leave It
Look, Chris and Kem – no last names needed because every single person in Britain watched Love Island this summer, don’t pretend you didn’t – have taken their shagging-on-telly fame and turned it into a grime career. And Little Bit Leave It isn’t a joke rap track, it’s a very real one. Sadly, it’s not even fit for its original purpose (ie for pissed-up lads to chant outside nightclubs at 2am) because it’s got too much chat in it, and the chorus is too quick for drunk people. It is, in fact, a little bit leave it.
