Kid Cudi has posted a statement in which he describes his ongoing battle with anxiety and depression, describing himself as “a damaged human swimming in a pool of emotions everyday of my life.”
In a Facebook post on Tuesday, the Ohio musician said that he has checked himself into rehab “for depression and suicidal urges.”
Cudi, real name Scott Mescudi, rose to mainstream fame in 2008 with single Day’N’Nite and was supported by Kanye West, who signed him to his label.
In recent weeks, however, the two artists were involved in a public fall out. In a series of Twitter posts, Cudi criticised West’s and Drake’s careers, claiming that they did not write their own music. West responded to these comments during a gig in Tampa, explaining that he felt “hurt” by his former label signee, adding: “I birthed you. Respect the God.”
Cudi’s new statement describes his shame surrounding his condition, and says he has been held back as a result of his depression.
“It’s been difficult for me to find the words to what Im [sic] about to share with you because I feel ashamed,” he writes.
“Ashamed to be a leader and hero to so many while admitting I’ve been living a lie. It took me a while to get to this place of commitment, but it is something I have to do for myself, my family, my best friend/daughter and all of you, my fans.”
Cudi compares his depression to “a raging violent storm inside of my heart at all times” and says he has been unable to leave the house because of it. “I can’t make new friends because of it,” he writes.
The post goes on to mention his lack of trust in others, and that he will be suspending promotion for the time being.
He added:
The good folks at Republic and my manager Dennis will inform you about upcoming releases. The music videos, album release date etc. The album is still on the way. Promise. I wanted to square away all the business before I got here so I could focus on my recovery.
If all goes well ill [sic] be out in time for Complexcon and ill be lookin forward to seeing you all there for high fives and hugs.
Love and light to everyone who has love for me and I am sorry if I let anyone down. I really am sorry. Ill be back, stronger, better. Reborn. I feel like shit, I feel so ashamed. I’m sorry.
Cudi has previously spoken about the effects of fame and his mental health. In an interview in March 2014, he talked about how the pressures of popularity drove him towards alcohol and drug use. He has also spoken openly about his addiction to anti-depressants, which were prescribed to help him deal with an “emotional breakdown” following the end of a relationship.
“I’ve dealt with suicide for the past five years,” he said in 2014. “There wasn’t a week or a day that didn’t go by where I was just like, ‘You know, I wanna check out.’ I know what that feels like, I know it comes from loneliness, I know it comes from not having self-worth, not loving yourself.”
Kudi has released six albums, including 2010’s Man on the Moon II: The Legend of Mr Rager, which peaked at No 3 on the Billboard charts and is certified gold.
- For mental health problems in the UK, the Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123, or visit Mind’s website.
- In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14.
- In the US, if you are in crisis or need someone to talk to, call the Samaritans branch in your area or 1 (800) 273-TALK.
- Hotlines in other countries can be found here.
