Charisma
Perhaps it’s unfair to compare the charisma of a pop juggernaut with a small man in a very big hat. Truth be told, I’d prefer to reserve judgement until I’ve seen Beck covered in sand and writhing around in a bikini. Until that happens, I am left to judge them on natural magnetism alone, and the uncommonly beautiful, all-singing, all-dancing Beyoncé is the outright winner of this category. On the other hand, surely there’s something to be said for Beck’s gawky charm, which has provided solace to the many losers and assholes of the world.
Beck: 6
Beyoncé: 9
Production
Beck described the rare reunion of the five-piece band who performed on Sea Change as “like the aligning of nine planets”. The album’s sound – lifted with soaring orchestration by Beck’s father – is an engulfing soundscape worthy of the win, and evocative of the heartache his songs describe. Still, the production on Beyoncé’s album has many merits: featuring a number of left-field choices – relatively unknown producer Boots, Caroline Polacheck of Chairlift – Beyoncé jeopardised her mainstream lure by appealing to a more hipster audience. In its place is a challenging body of modern pop, expanding on R&B, trap and electronic music, and featuring strange, sprawling and at times indulgent interludes.
Beck: 8
Beyoncé: 8
Artistry
Both Morning Phase and Beyoncé are great artistic feats: Beyoncé is a 14-track record accompanied by 17 short films, whereas Morning Phase was conceived after a dry spell for the musician that followed a career-threatening back injury. Both albums have a sense of melancholy: Beyonce’s candid references to her own marriage and her insecurities; Beck’s dark, troublesome feelings of isolation. But if we’re going to get pedantic and purist about this, Beyoncé collaborated with multiple writers to create each track, whereas all of the songs on Morning Phase were written by Beck Hansen alone (as this Wiki entry so delighted in outlining).
Beck: 9
Beyoncé: 7
Cultural impact
Beyoncé’s album was a vast pool of think-piece fodder for journalists, whether it was for the positive (her focus on feminism, the sample of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s TED talk on Flawless, her frank exploration of female sexuality) or the negative (Jay Z’s perplexing reference to Ike Turner on Drunk in Love, commissioning controversial photographer Terry Richardson to direct the video for XO). Although I’ve still yet to read a piece about how Beck’s Blue Moon could be a takedown of alpha-male stereotypes in a capitalist society, the record does have all the markings of a well-made, well-conceived album, which should inspire other artists to apply the same degree of meticulous composition. Beyoncé wins this category however, as he did not, unfortunately, coin his own brand of viral language for youth culture, which is, of course, a major oversight for fans of viral language and youth culture.
Beck: 5
Beyoncé: 8
Sales
While you should never judge quantity over quality – a shedload more people bought Mrs Carter’s rush-released album compared to Beck’s long-anticipated return. It is by no means her biggest-selling record, but she shifted just over 2m copies in the US compared to Beck’s 300,000.
Beck: 5
Beyoncé: 7
Total
Beck: 33/50
Beyoncé: 39/50
Judging by this speculative and moderately factual study, it looks as if Kanye West was scientifically correct with his statement that Beyoncé was the better album. Which, if you also consider the fact that she approached this self-titled album as if it were the definitive work of her career - whereas Beck’s Morning Phase seems like the end of an artistic stopgap - is probably a fair assumption. That said, if anyone is able to persuade Beck into a bikini I’d happily reconsider the score.
