Usher
Good Kisser (RCA)
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A paean to the innocent liplock! Or perhaps not: "Don't nobody kiss it like you… got lipstick on my leg," Usher coos, because it's 2014 and obviously this is about a sex act. Usher's top/no top ratio in the video is about 20/80, as per. Overlook the naked currying of lady favour, though, because the track is loose, filthy and stripped-back as the vest budget: Omar comin' whistles, Prince vocals, and the most badass bass refrain of the year, at once spasmodic yet sensual. Plus – yes! – cowbell. The R&B equivalent of a pervy guy who gives an annoyingly good backrub.
ALSO OUT THIS WEEK
Joan As Policewoman
Witness (Play It Again Sam)
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"I need to be the witness to stop this crime/ 'Cos the criminal inside me has lost her mind," wails Joan in this horn-driven, dramatic soliloquy, over a fat drum clatter. How can she be the policewoman, the witness, and the perp? "I've been playing the part of prisoner," she adds, hungry to cast herself in every role pertaining to criminal proceedings. Do you want to be the court stenographer, too, Joan?
Boy George
Nice And Slow (Cometmarket Limited)
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Typing this into YouTube, I was inadvertently directed to "Boy George Nigerian movie", a Nollywood tale of an unlucky man called George who tries to swindle a princess, which I watched for 40 minutes. Anyway, the song is a cod-reggae snoozeathon and quite nice, if a bit slow. To say it doesn't really go anywhere is putting it mildly. This is "Julian Assange on Christmas Eve"-level not going anywhere. As Rastafari as a Lilt ad.
Sharon Corr
Take A Minute (Rhino)
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Take a minute, you say? I do love a challenge! I managed a minute of this offensively pleasant syrup of strings and muted trumpet. It's as solidly Radio 2 as Des O'Connor's Brylcreem. Corr's Carpenters vocal melts smoothly over everything like caramel on vanilla ice-cream, which is lovely but you wouldn't put it in your ear.
Mumdance Feat Novelist
Take Time (Rinse)
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"STOP… take time and relax" is a lyrical enjoinder that veers perilously close to "collaborate and listen". Thankfully, comparisons to 1990 pop-rap end there. Released on Rinse FM's label, this forward-thinking grime joint is impressively crafted, teen MC Novelist's punchy spit supported by Mumdance's percussive battery of whips, shots and lasers. Good name, too, though I once watched my mum dance to Gagnam Style at a wedding, and she knew the moves, which made me feel angry and unwell.
Jinnwoo
Your Baby (Jinnwoo)
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Jinnwoo's gothic folk-croak is a confessional reel unspooling from his innards, a tale of circling doom. The kind of music you hear on TV and know a dead kid is gonna pop up at some point. Not guaranteed to get the party started.
