Hi, Rizzles. So, is that Huey off your Christmas card list (1)?
Jordan (2) : I'm not annoyed with him. We're huge Fun Lovin' Criminals fans. We've asked him to collaborate in the past. He just mashed up and came off really badly. It made good telly, but I'm not going to run to the shops to get him a Christmas card either.
Were there any injuries from that flying mug?
Jordan: This is why we could jest. I wouldn't have approached it with the same cutting-edge comedy if a bit of porcelain had flicked up and hit [Huey's team-mates] Laura [Whitmore] or Phill [Jupitus] in the face. Thankfully, everyone came off unscathed.
You fell out with Wiley after tweeting a newspaper headline implying this summer's heatwave caused thousands of fish to die. Isn't this his fault for writing such an anti-ichthyophobically (3) sympathetic song?
Jordan: I didn't initiate that beef. He sent a tweet to Capital FM saying Rizzle Kicks are a joke because he's pissed they'll never play him again because he's too stupid to turn up to their Summertime ball: 80,000 people, get over yourself. I don't know why he's such an anti-humanitarian. He needs to take responsibility; else I will be alerting the WWF (4).
You opened Rizzle Kicks pop-up shops to promote your new album. What was on sale? Rizzle Dips? Rizzle Tricks? Rizzle Sticks (for poking things)?
Harley (5) : There were sweets. Not called Rizzle Dips though.
Jordan: They had a note by the bar at our gig at the Roundhouse, saying Rizzle Tips. Cheeky fuckers!
Nando's hands out free food cards to celebs (6) but you've had yours revoked. Did you out-eat your welcome?
Harley: It was our friends' fault. We went to America, gave away our cards, and they abused it.
Jordan: It's one of the ironies of stardom. We're probably financially able to buy chicken and we were given a card that allowed this happen for free. I would like mine back though please.
You've written a sitcom. Is it called the Rizzle Princes of Brighton Air?
Jordan: It's on the bench. I wrote the pilot, but we've changed our minds. We don't need to rush it. We've got a lot to do musically. One would suggest our next step is into comedy because we're such likable characters. It would be cool not to be defined into that genre, and maybe do some serious acting.
How about a cop-show in the vein of Starsky & Hutch and Dempsey & Makepeace and called, erm, Rizzle & Kicks?
Jordan:Fuck, yes! Put that word out. Let's do it.
You have a pop at Jeremy Kyle on your new album. Um, what's wrong with Jeremy Kyle?
Jordan: Clearly, Jerry Springer is completely comical, potentially completely fake. Jeremy Kyle gets people who are near enough helpless and unable to ask each other simple questions like, "Is that my baby?" and embarrasses them on telly. What's he supposed to be? A therapist? Therapists don't do that. They're supposed to listen, not shout over people and remind them that it's the Jeremy Kyle Show. Remember Trisha? She was a saint. Her listening face was amazing.
Could you present an agony aunt show?
Jordan:I'd open up the topics to things beyond the council estate. Things like, "I just did a degree in forensic science and realised I don't care, what shall I do with my life?" I'd love to mentor kids who are about to start year eight.
What was it like working with Fatboy Slim? He told us it made him feel old (7) .
Jordan: He's so old school, it's cool. He uses an Akai computer that takes 40 minutes to start up and uses floppy disks. That's how old school Norman Cook is. He'll say: "I don't know why you want to work with me, I'm well old." Then he does seven gigs at Glastonbury, raving all night, comes back and goes: "I'm knackered." Eh?
You've said when you go out with your mate Harry Styles, he favours dimly lit bars. Is he really that ugly?
Jordan: Clearly not. He's one of the most in-demand males in the fucking galaxy. Chicks on Mars are down for Harry Styles.
Is it your appearance you're ashamed of then?
Jordan: No. That's just clubs, isn't it?
Harley: It's probably better that Harry Styles doesn't go into a hugely brightly lit room.
Thanks, Rizzles. When you're deciding who goes first, such as who gets top bunk, or who gets to carry the Olympic Torch, do you agree to do so in alphabetical order of Kicks then Rizzle, like one might think Ant and Dec might do?
Jordan: No. One of us will take a liberty like, "I want that last beer," and the other will go, "Liberty noted." Next time, "Who's going to carry the Olympic torch?" "Well, you had my last beer." "Liberty restored!"
Footnotes
(1) Fun Lovin' Criminals' Huey Morgan smashed a mug and stormed off Never Mind The Buzzcocks when Rizzle Kicks presented last week
(2) Big hair, left in photo
(3) Fear of fish
(4) The World Wildlife Fund. Not the wrestling people.
(5) Smaller hair, right in photo
(6) David Beckham, Jay Z and Ricky Gervais eat for free, apparently
(7) Fatboy Slim thought the boys were texting their mates when they were writing lyrics on their phones