PICK OF THE WEEK
Big Black Delta
Side Of The Road (Masters Of Bates)
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A propulsive electronic battle weapon that brings to mind Gary Numan trying to get his head around the GarageBand software without having to read the instruction manual. Existing somewhere between disco and anguish, Side Of The Road is best summed up with a description of its video, which you're implored to check out forthwith: it's a cross between the original Tron and the 80s Scotch tapes advert with the dancing skeleton.
Bo Bruce
Save Me (Mercury)
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"Why would you wake me/ If you're not gonna save me?" asks Voice UK alumni Bo Bruce on her debut single. "Because the house is on fire Bo! We need to get out!" you scream in the hope it'll shake some urgency into her. It's no use. She's trapped in Dido gear (though at times this threatens to shift up to Enya). You give it one last try. "Danny O'Donoghue's downstairs and he's threatening to be associated with you forever!" Still nothing.
Pitbull Feat Christina Aguilera
Feel This Moment (RCA)
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Bidding to outrage the placid people of Norway, Pitbull senselessly shafts a sample of the synth-hook from a-ha's Take On Me, adding to it that vague David Guetta squelch. If it's possible that such a thought-free lyric as "Feel this moment" can have subtext, here Christina Aguilera means, "There you go, you idiot; that's my one take. Wire the money into my account immediately." Unfortunately for her, Pitbull raps like a man unburdened by the real meanings of things.
The Staves
Facing West (Atlantic)
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In which three sisters from Watford recreate the dizzying psychedelic folk harmonics of Linda Perhac's 1970 song Parallelograms without the trippy balls stuff, so you don't come to the conclusion that you are in fact God. It sounds so pure, so clean, it's like a new mineral dug from the earth that scientists predict has something to do with love. Melodic, sweet and brief, a sudden but short-lived breeze that, after it's gone, reminds you how much you stink of sweat. The Staves are probably angels or something, who, in these ungodly times, are being forced to try and make it in the music industry.
Clean Bandit
Mozart's House (Atlantic)
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If Clean Bandit have been to Mozart's House, they certainly haven't learned anything there. This starts with one of their number saying "So you think electronic music is boring? You think it's stupid?" The implication is that we haven't heard anything until we've heard this. But we have. We've heard it in three equally annoying songs now being badly packed into one; yes, including the classical violin bit which pops up in between the bass-y computer bits like an annoying child with a sense of entitlement opening the bedroom door while you try shag its mother or father (delete as appropriate).
