This week's new singles

The Like | Black Eyed Peas | Daisy Dares You | Justin Bieber | Dan Le Sac Vs Scroobius Pip

PICK OF THE WEEK

The Like
He's Not A Boy (Downtown/Polydor)

I'm well aware that making the Like Pick Of The Week makes me look like a guy who's upset that it's not 2004 any more (I am, bring back the New Rock Revolution!), but it's not exactly a classic week for singles releases and this is perfectly acceptable garage pop. OK, I don't think I'm likely to ever listen to it again, but it was between this, Andy Bell, Tinchy Stryder and the Drums, so chill out. Anyway, let's move on so I can start bitching about some really bad records.

ALSO OUT THIS WEEK

Black Eyed Peas
Imma Be Rocking That Body (Polydor)

Who's your favourite Black Eyed Pea? Before this video, my list would have gone: 1) The lanky martial arts guy who isn't allowed to rap on the songs; 2) The short guy who's allowed to rap a little bit, but still isn't allowed to meet Cheryl Cole; 3) No one; the other two are hateful trollops with less value and dignity than one of those racist MTV docusoaps. However, after 10 minutes of watching Fergie dressed as Sarah Palin, shooting people in the street and listening to will.i.am Auto-Tune on and on, I've decided that he's the worst person in history.

Daisy Dares You
Rosie (Jive)

It'd be easy to get self-righteous about Daisy Dares You, though I'm sure that 27-year-old journalists aren't the target demographic for this training-bra rock. Being mean about Daisy seems like pointing out Doctor Who plot flaws to my nine-year-old nephew. However, if I ever come across a broadsheet article about how she's a punky antidote to anodyne pop princesses, I'm going to be very disappointed. Daisy, enjoy yourself; entertain the tweens, but remember, you're not Courtney Love, you're Courtney Love-Hewitt.

Justin Bieber
Somebody To Love (Mercury)

Someone should set Justin Bieber and Daisy Dares You up. She could teach him about art films like Heathers. Then he can take her bowling, ice-skating and help her realise that being into team sports doesn't make you a sellout. One thing he shouldn't do is play her his new single, because it's a bit better than hers and no one likes a show off. And, as this is going to be No 1 in 700 countries from now until whenever his youngest fan finishes her last SAT, he probably doesn't need to rub it in.

Dan Le Sac Vs Scroobius Pip
Sick Tonight/Great Britain (Sunday Best)

Christ, I know that 2-step's trendy at the moment, but we're not due a drum'n'bass revival are we? If we were it'd definitely be spearheaded by people like these two geeks, the kind of thirtysomethings with framed Lyricist Lounge posters in their sitting room and those mythical Fabric gold cards they gave out in 2000 in their wallets. To a certain type of 16-year-old, seeing Scoobius Pip rap must seem like hearing Castro speak in 1960, but this fat old man, embarrassed of his D&B days, just doesn't want to have to wear parachute pants ever again.

Alex Miller

The GuardianTramp

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