Fratellis defy their knockers

In the news: The Scottish indie rockers' new album has won the approval of the Sun's breast-obsessed showbiz editor. Plus: Richards' slight on David Bowie and Winehouse's post-prison-visit lovebite

There are some great perks to being the Sun's Gordon Smart. Not only does the Bizarre man get to have his say on subjects as diverse as pregnancy (verdict: a good thing, because it makes women's breasts bigger) to home furnishings (Lily Allen out shopping for door knockers ... KNOCKERS!), but he also gets to hear exclusive new music before anyone else.

Unfortunately, it's the new album by Scottish rockers the Fratellis.

Gordo seems happy enough though, proclaiming it a "cracker" and saying: "Frontman Jon Lawler reckons Here We Stand is a league ahead of their debut effort. The singer says: 'We're really proud of it. For the first time I really concentrated on the words.'"

He continues: "I felt a bit schizophrenic when I read them back. They're really personal in places."

More personal than "Da da-da, da da-da, da da-da deh da da-da ..."? Impossible.

Keith "I'll snort anything that isn't nailed down" Richards has got himself into a bit of bother with the Goss for having a go at David Bowie. The Daily Star scribblers admit: "We love Keith Richards - the patron sinner of copious excess - like a slightly embarrassing uncle in a bandana."

But they are less impressed when Richards starts talking about Dave. "When asked to name his favourite Bowie song, he said he could only remember Changes," say the Goss. (This is understandable, as Richards has admitted that he struggles to remember the events of yesterday, let alone the rise and fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars).

Richards continues: "I can't think of anything else he's done that would make my hair stand up", which allows the Goss to flex their musical muscle and ask: "Life on Mars, Starman and the whole of Low anyone?"

Yeah Richards, ever seen a film called Labyrinth? Dance magic, dance!

Amy Winehouse is in all the red tops today, not only displaying what looks very much like a love bite on her neck, but actually pointing it out to the snappers who trail her every move.

But what could this mean?

The Mirror sarcastically say she gets "classier by the day" and remark on the fact that Winehouse had just emerged from visiting her husband Blake Fielder-Civil in prison. They also wonder "how inmate Blake managed to get his head through the prison bars to devour Amy's neck".

Well, we believe inmates are allowed out of their cells during visiting hour, because it's not 1908, and also because we've seen it on Hollyoaks.

Gordon Smart simply asks: "Can I have a show of hands from anyone in Camden who hasn't slept with Amy Winehouse?"

Now THAT'S classy.


Rosie Swash

The GuardianTramp

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