Pick of the week
Young Knives Turn Tail (Transgressive)
This is morbid, psychedelic, dry guitar music but not - as you might assume - in a bad way. It has the pre-migrainey, swelling effect of making you feel sad and happy at the same time. There are strings and searching moments of melancholy defeat. It's all quite epic and wonderful. Yes, actually, it is.
Goldfrapp Happiness (Mute)
Goldfrapp's music always sounds a bit like it's been recorded at the bottom of a suburban swimming pool, on a secondhand keytar, by a mum who's just tried her son's Coke can bong for the first time. This is no exception - a gentle Sgt Pepper's-tuned romp, with bleached vocals and a breathy melody, perfect for emotional car rides, or gym TV, or indicating a sinister story arc in one of our edgier ITV dramas.
Simple Plan Your Love Is A Lie (Atlantic)
Equal parts pubescent elbow attack over a remote control and slipperily produced hair gel advert, the highlight of this very, very bad and horrible song is the snicker in the singer's voice as, in the uncensored version (which I've heard!), he says a really rude swear word. Perhaps I'm being mean. This pretend-punk tune will, after all, be the soundtrack to a hundred lucky boys' first brush of boob as they mosh politely with a female emo in a tent this summer. Props for that, at least.
Jamie Lidell A Little Bit Of Feel Good (Warp)
So it turns out people love Jamie Lidell. Seriously, they think he's brilliant, they buy his albums, all that stuff. But, breaking news: judging by this record it turns out he's only okay! He's not a "sonic scientist", or a "techno soulboy" at all, he's only an "electrofunk genius" - if that means he sounds like a Pop Idol doing Motown. Stevie Brookstein, if you will.
The Last Shadow Puppets Age Of The Understatement (Domino)
This isn't indie, or pop, or any of the exciting rhyming genres in between; this - a dour, expensive, Scott-Walker-sounding single by Alex Turner (out of the biggest band in the UK) and his mate, support-band-Miles - should be propped alongside Neon Neon and Fat Les in a rack labelled Side Projects. Like an open relationship or a film about cancer, it'll end in tears.
Jay Sean Maybe (2point9)
Less "tune", more "R&B infection", Jay Sean's Maybe (which features the lyric "Look on Facebook all the time, hoping you've checked my profile") is the aural equivalent of a sad smiley. It triggers a hot, particularly Y2K agony. The pain starts low: a groinal ache, which spreads upwards like slow suffocation. Your womb area's hit hard and within minutes your nipples are disabled. Where your heart once hung lies a shell. A nasty taste coats your tongue. You smell burning.
