No 22: Noisettes

Our relentless onslaught of fresh new talent continues with this blues-rock, soul power and grrrl attack trio. Go on, you know you want to.

Hometown: London.

The line-up: Shingai Shoniwa (vocals, bass), Dan Smith (guitar), Jamie Morrison (drums).

The background: Noisettes are equal parts blues-rock, soul power and grrrl attack. They've been described as the most exciting live band in the country, flying "without a safety net in every performance". Wooh! How can they possibly be anything less than earth-shatteringly great? Well, since you ask!

For starters, they took their name from the triangular Quality Street chocolate in the green wrapper, ie the only one less popular than the one in the yellow wrapper with the horrible crunchy nutty bits. And they've got a naff backstory: they formed after Dan met Shingai at an audition for needy ex-celebrity and renowned non-swimmer Michael Barrymore's early 90s gosh-aren't-the-working-classes-hilarious-fest My Kind Of People.

Now, a lot of fuss has been made about Shingai. She sings like Billie Holiday on speed, apparently, while patrolling the stage like an Amazonian warrior princess. And she's dangerous. Meaning? She warbles and does handstands at the same time.

Oh, but don't they look fabulous, dahlink? No, they do not. They look a mess. Shinghai's giant false eyelashes and Davy Crockett-style fur hat, the green fishing net that doubles as a scarf: basically, she looks like she smeared herself head-to-toe in glue and rolled around in Camden Lock market. Meanwhile, Dan has single-handedly rescued the word "coxcomb" from oblivion and Jamie's a beard on legs.

Wait, I hear you cry, the single has been described as "like Led Zeppelin fornicating with Siouxsie & The Banshees". Bollocks does it. It sounds like Neat Neat Neat by The Damned. Yes, but Kele Okereke loves them, even though he doesn't really "do" rock music any more! And when they toured the States together, they forced him to "up his game". Thatâ€(TM)ll explain why the new Bloc Party album is such a letdown, then.

The buzz: "One of Britain's best-kept secrets: dark, dangerous and sexy as hell."

The truth: Noisettes are all those things and more: if you've been in suspended animation for years and never saw any of those thrash bands from the early 90s Camden "lurch" scene like God or Godflesh or Silvergod, sorry, Silverflesh, dammit, Silverfish, so-called because they made you lurch forward like you were about to chuck up.

Most likely to: Annoy the Guardian Unlimited's New Band Of The Day writer every time he hears them on Zane Lowe or xfm.

Least likely to: Invite the Guardian Unlimited's New Band Of The Day writer round to their house for tea.

File next to: Skunk Anansie, Silverfish, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, White Stripes.

What to buy: Sister Rosetta (Capture The Spirit) is released by Vertigo on January 29, with the debut album What's The Time Mr Wolf? to follow on February 5.

Links: Their official web site and their MySpace page

Wednesday's new band: The Twang


Paul Lester

The GuardianTramp

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