Tomorrow, roughly 45 minutes before the X Factor comes on, Klaxons will celebrate their first anniversary. The band that has become the darling of the music press and, through their raucous live shows, caused teenagers to accidentally poke their own eyes out with glow sticks only first got in a room together 12 months ago. Which, if you think about it, means that this time next year they'll probably own half of China.
How much of this is down to the movement they (that is to say, the music press) call "nu-rave" can't be proven. But as far as the band is concerned, while they may have invented the term, they don't reckon it really applies to them. "It was something I invented as a joke", says Jamie Reynolds, singer, bassist and Klaxon with the most opinions. "The idea of it being a movement in the first place is ridiculous."
"It's inherently boring", chips in guitarist Simon Taylor, and the consensus is formed that, if there was such a thing as nu-rave, there'd only be six songs that deserved the title. The new Klaxons single Magick would be unlikely to be one of them, belonging more to a town called "post punk acid discordian" (population: 2,506).
"I knew after it was done we had written another big pop song", says Reynolds with the confidence of a man who has hundreds of pop kids camped outside his home, probably. "But I don't think it's one of our biggest pop songs."
Keyboardist James Righton steps in. "It's definitely not the straightest of the pop songs we've got. It's quite mad, it's got a lot of parts to it and it's quite in your face." All of which is true, but with several intertwining melodies and a bassline that sounds like a metallic horse getting up a gallop, it's not hard to imagine yourself dancing to it - probably with a pair of gloves on, doing the lunchbox.
So that's our reviewers introduced, but what do they make of this week's other singles?
Depeche Mode - Martyr
Dave Gahan and his leather fetishists return with a number that sounds like, well, Depeche Mode. The boys aren't very impressed with it (though Righton concedes that Joy of Silence is "a classic track"), but they are keen to talk about arpeggios.
"They seem to have hooked on to that arpeggio sound", says Reynolds.
"They invented it didn't they?" says Righton.
Counters Reynolds: They've built a hook out of an arpeggio, which is quite common. It sounds derivative of Depeche Mode". Which would seem to be their right.
At this point Taylor (who could be labelled the "quiet one") steps in to suggest that the Mode are more of an album band than a singles band and that, in this context, the song would repay more listening. And so...
Scores out of 10: - Reynolds and Taylor give it 5, but Righton gives it 6! Making an average score of 5.66
The Gossip - Standing in the Way of Control
Before the song has even finished Reynolds has declared he "loved it", but then it seems the Klaxons are quite familiar with the oeuvre of this Portland, Oregon, garage rock band - able to quote the various remixes of this tune whose monster bassline has been rocking the clubs for months.
"It's a really timeless song", says Reynolds.
"It's nothing like anything else they do", says Taylor.
"It could have been a classic soul song bar the contemporary production and the arpeggios", says Reynolds. Ah, the arpeggios ...
Scores out of 10: Reynolds, Taylor - 9. Righton (just to be different) 8. Average 8.66!
The Horrors - Count in Fives
Now, it turns out that the Klaxons began their career (those many months ago) playing the same venues as goth-art rockers the Horrors and if they'd like to belong to any scene, thank you very much, it would be that one.
"We came out at the same time as them," says Righton. "We came out of the same scene - playing White Heat and the Old Blue Last. There was always talk that the Horrors didn't have any substance but I think they're proving people wrong."
Cue Reynolds: "That song is closer to our band than is ever imaginable. They've definitely written the biggest rave riff of the year and they've definitely done their discordian homework."
What's discordian? "I'm not going to mention any more of that. You can't talk about it."
"Counting in fives is discordian", whispers Taylor, thank God (scroll to the bottom of the Wikipedia page and you'll see why)
Scores out of 10: 10s all around!
CSS - Alala
The chorus to this song by the female Brazilian troupe goes "alalalala", which prompts much alalaing around the room. With a lead singer called Lovefoxxxx, the nomenclature also goes down well. But the song doesn't prove overly popular. Reynolds thinks it sounds "dated", Taylor more "rigid" than the preceding tunes. Righton thinks it would be "big in East London".
Again, apparently, it has an arpeggio in it. But this doesn't help it on the score front ...
Scores out of 10: Reynolds and Taylor again concur on a 6.5. Righton goes all the way to 7. But collectively they settle on a 6.8!
Panic at the Disco - I write Sins not Tragedies
With a lyrical hook that talks about "a sense of poise and rationality" (commonly heard in the room as "poisoned rationality") it's thought that the princes of US emo will help to turn the kids towards literacy. "It's full of words that young people might not understand", says Reynolds, "It might get them to pick up a book".
There again, it might not, seeing as they can just listen to the songs instead. But the Klaxons respect Panic for a) their youth (they're all teenagers) and b) their massive following. "I think anything that creates a sub community is a good thing", says Taylor. Which raises suspicions that this may have rigged the ratings because none of the band seem really to like the song all that much.
Scores out of 10: - Reynolds goes for the old standard, 6.5, Taylor a 7. But Righton shouts: "I think I'm going to give it a 10!" Leaving an average of of 7.833recurring!
All of which makes the Horrors the winners!
The Klaxons' new single, Magick is out NOW NOW NOW!
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