Age: 25.
Appearance: Blue eyes, angular features, like a young Frank Sinatra.
Lucky for him! Well, ye-es. In a way. You see he's the son of Mia Farrow and Woody Allen, born in 1987 and originally given the name Satchel.
OK. But Farrow had in fact once been married to Frank Sinatra.
Right. And she's just told Vanity Fair that even though she divorced him in 1968, he was the great love of her life and: "We never really split up."
I see. So ...
Are you insinuating something? Maybe.
Why have you started humming Strangers in the Night? No reason. It's just that when Mia Farrow was asked if Ronan's biological father was in fact Frank Sinatra, she replied: "Possibly."
Outrageous! Ol' Blue Eyes always respected wedding vows! He loved marriage so much he had four of them! That's one way of looking at it.
Poor Ronan, though. I don't know. If he is indeed Sinatra's son, there are some upsides. First, he gets to look like Frank Sinatra instead of Woody Allen.
A good deal, I admit. Second, he's not on speaking terms with Allen anyway, after his father left his mother in 1992 to begin a relationship with his adopted sister Soon-Yi. On Father's Day last year, Ronan tweeted: "Happy father's day – or as they call it in my family, happy brother-in-law's day." "I cannot see him," he has said. "I cannot have a relationship with my father and be morally consistent."
Wow. See his point. Third, the rumour had been around for a while, and he has managed to laugh about it. Shortly after the story broke he tweeted: "Listen, we're all *possibly* Frank Sinatra's son."
That's brilliant. Although he must be a mess after such a chaotic childhood. Actually he's quite the reverse. He was a child prodigy, graduated from his first college aged 15, and then from Yale Law School at 21. He's a Rhodes scholar and has worked for the UN and with Hillary Clinton at the US State Department as an advocate on youth issues, inspired by the hardship experienced by many of his adopted siblings.
To sum up then, you're telling me he's young, good-looking, wealthy, incredibly nice, incredibly clever, powerful, friends with the stars and has a GSOH. That's right. Basically we've got thinking woman's Ryan Gosling here.
Do sing: "I've got you, under my skin ..."
Don't sing: "When I was 71, it was a very good year ..."
