Name: Fashionable fetish wear.
Appearance: Chic bondage apparel, probably in black.
Age: Since Monday, at least.
Because? Well, take a look at the picture.
Bloody hell, is that a dementor, or a ringwraith? Or just a shadow, the empty black space where someone used to be? Actually it’s Kim Kardashian at this year’s Met Gala in New York.
The Met Gala? That event where A-list celebs try to outdo one another on the red carpet? Bingo! It’s fashion’s big night out, the industry’s Oscars, bigger than ever this year on account of being cancelled last year because of Covid …
Why did Kardashian go dressed as some sort of bondage ninja? Fetishwear has become something of a staple of the catwalks, and, according to the Daily Mail, the high street. Kardashian’s outfit, however, was designed by Demna Gvasalia, the creative director at Balenciaga. He was there, too – Vogue said Kardashian’s companion, wearing a blackout hoodie, was Gvasalia after some speculation that it might be Kardashian’s estranged husband, Kanye West.
What’s the point of this Met Gala then? To promote the Costume Institute at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, which is where it’s held. And it’s an opportunity for designers, models, musicians, actors and anyone else with an invite to flaunt fabulous fashions.
Like executioner chic! What did other people go as? The rapper Lil Nas X wore three outfits – although one looked like he had hired a C-3PO outfit, but it was actually by Versace and almost certainly cost a fortune. Schitt’s Creek’s Dan Levy went as Google Maps. And the German singer Kim Petras had a horse’s head attached to her front – possibly something to do with the wild west.
Or that bit from The Godfather? Perhaps.
Most of the conversation was about Kardashian, then? Obviously. She went to a listening party of her ex’s new album, Donda, sporting a similar all-black mask, while West has been wearing a blacked-out head covering, too.
Is this her tribute to his new work? Maybe. Or perhaps a sly dig – because he has spoken in the past about her outfits being “too revealing” and “too sexy”.
Booooo (West, not the outfits). She posted another picture of herself in a different all-black leather costume, complete with full mask.
Is black the new black then? Possibly, unless bondage is the new black. One thing is for sure, though: it’s either absolutely genius … or else a bit weird and creepy.
Do say: “$30,000 a seat you say? Super, I’ll take a table.”
Don’t say: “My Halloween costume’s just like that, I got it online for 20 quid.”