David, 63, Portsmouth
Occupation Semi-retired primary school teacher
Voting record Labour – years ago because he thought it was essential to do so, now because there’s no one else to vote for
Amuse bouche When he was 10, he won a south London art competition with a painting of a flamenco bar, even though he’d never been to Spain, or a bar, or any flamenco
Emma, 52, Portsmouth
Occupation Secondary school teacher
Voting record Labour, except once when she cast a tactical vote for the Lib Dems
Amuse bouche Emma once fell over Prince Charles’s feet when he came to the Royal Show in Warwickshire
For starters
David I arrived first, and mistook the photographer for the person I was meeting. I don’t know why, he’s a different gender. I think it might have been a bit of nerves.
Emma We did not draw breath for the whole time we were together.
David She came walking in with her big smile and I thought: “She’s going to be nice.”
Emma I had this delicious starter – lamb belly with some cockles on the side. And a piece of hake.
David I ordered the oysters, and then I had the sea kelp gnocchi.
The big beef
Emma We disagreed about statues. As I get older, I’m a bit more militant rather than less. I just think: let’s all glue ourselves to something to say how cross we are. If we’re going to put up statues, let’s put up statues to really great people, great allies, great pioneers, great scientists. Let’s not always make them white people with objectionable parts of their history, which are somehow forgiven because it’s such a long time ago.
David I’d like to see a true description put on the base of these statues, of what the person did and how they got their money. I worry that we’re erasing what happened if we tear them down. Like a lot of middle-aged gay people, my partner and I have given up bondage and joined the National Trust. Now I want to hear the stories of how that money was made, how these houses were built. One of the things I’d like to see is a statue of Aneurin Bevan in front of every NHS hospital. Emma’s reaction was, “Ooh, that’d be nice” but she probably thought: “He’s on a rant now.”
Emma I do understand his strength of feeling for the NHS and why it’s precious. But when it’s being systematically ruined, I’m not sure a statue of Nye Bevan will alert people to the dangers of that.
Sharing plate
Emma We started talking about queer fluidity and agreed straight away – we’re both really committed to the idea that the fluidity kids have now is great and necessary. We’re open and inclusive about our trans pupils at school – they feel safe, they feel supported and they feel loved. He’d grown up in a time when he couldn’t experiment with any side of himself at all.
David I got into my personal life quite fast. It was one of those things where you talk to a stranger who’s quite friendly and you open up. I’ve been married and had a family, and it was in my late 30s that I decided I needed to be braver and more honest with myself. I met my current partner in my mid-50s. It was murder coming out to some of my close friends.
For afters
David Emma’s lived in Portsmouth longer than I have, and she also lived in London for a while. We talked about that, and how we’d never move back there. I miss the diversity of London but I was up in the centre a couple of weeks ago for the first time since lockdown and I think it’s become a much more unequal city, for people with money. All the quirky little shops have gone. It’s not the city I grew up in.
Emma He goes back and notices the stark differences between rich and poor. Whereas for me, it was just the noise and the hubbub. I got on the tube the other day and thought: “Urgh, people, how did I ever live here?”
Takeaways
David You can’t fight with Emma, she’s too nice.
Emma It was a really warm, really engaging conversation. Then we decided to have a cocktail pudding.
Additional reporting: Naomi Larsson
• David and Emma ate at The Briny, Southsea
Want to meet someone from across the divide? Click here to find out more
