Trudie Styler: ‘When I feel things strongly I have to act on them'

The actor, 65, on the road accident that scarred her, following her dreams – and being with Sting for 37 years

Most people in the street where I was born in Bromsgrove took up factory work or worked in typing pools. When I told my father one night after my 18th birthday that I wanted to go to drama school, he said: “If that’s what you’re going to do, you need to leave.” I found myself hitchhiking to Stratford-upon-Avon. That’s where you went when you wanted to be an actor.

Acting helped restore my self-esteem after a childhood accident. I was knocked over by a van when I was two and spent a lot of time in hospital. I had a lot of scarring on my face and my opinion of myself was very low, but once I started learning acting at grammar school, that changed. I loved literature, and Shakespeare, and when I began to find characters who had nothing to do with being Trudie, I was free.

When I feel things strongly I have to act on them. It’s not impulsivity, but if something gnaws at me, and I don’t act, I just don’t feel right. I see that tenacity in my kids, and their father Sting. He left Newcastle with nothing but a baby in tow, and wanted to be a musician. We’re very similar like that, and our kids have got a fair old dose of it, too.

I’ve been with Sting for 37 years – 27 married. I enjoy my independence and Sting’s never been a partner who’s held me back from following my dream, following my quest and realising all the things I’ve wanted to do creatively.

I lead a peripatetic existence. We’ve been in New York for nine years, but we travel back to the UK and to our winery in Palagio, in Tuscany. Sting is always travelling, too. Plus, we’ve got grandchildren dotted from one coast to the other. There’s nothing like being a grandmother. It’s a beautiful chapter. They fill me with delight. They’re wonderful little monsters.

I was brought up in a Christian household. I was often at church; my mum was devout. I’m not a great religious practitioner at all, but I have a deep humanitarian streak. Giving is soul food. You feel better about life if you can share.

We don’t have bodyguards. Sting’s very level-headed. He knows the moment that he’s outside the door he’s a public persona. But inside our home he’s just dad, and that’s why our kids have a normal relationship domestically. Everybody says what they think. They’re a feisty bunch. There’s no being famous and successful inside the house.

The tantric sex story has gone round the world. It’s probably gone around the solar system at this point. I don’t even want to discuss it with you, but let it just keep orbiting.

Freak Show, directed by Trudie Styler, is out now on DVD and Blu-ray

Contributor

Nick McGrath

The GuardianTramp

Related Content

Article image
This much I know: Trudie Styler
The film producer, 57, on therapy, love at first sight and meeting Clint Eastwood

Shahesta Shaitly

21, May, 2011 @11:05 PM

Article image
Emmylou Harris: ‘There are things I don't think we'll ever know the answers to’
The musician, 70, on rethinking her career, laughing with Dolly Parton and shopping with Neil Young

James McMahon

10, Mar, 2018 @2:00 PM

Article image
Trudie Styler is threatening to leave Britain, taking Sting with her
Marina Hyde: What has brought one of our cultural crown jewels to contemplate forsaking us? Why, the cruel press, of course

Marina Hyde

17, Oct, 2013 @5:46 PM

Article image
Paloma Faith: ‘Kindness has become very uncool. But the world needs empathy right now’
The singer, 36, talks about being a shy child, how her mother taught her about empathy and why life is all about phases

James McMahon

24, Mar, 2018 @2:00 PM

Article image
Sting and Trudie Styler: every vote you make, I'll be watching you
The singer has come out for Labour, while his wife has previously made donations to the Tories. Suddenly the election has got interesting

Marina Hyde

12, Mar, 2015 @6:03 PM

Article image
This much I know | Nadya Tolokonnikova, Pussy Riot
The Pussy Riot co-founder, 29, on talking politics with her daughter, how prison changed her, and her capitalist phase

Megan Nolan

20, Apr, 2019 @1:00 PM

Article image
Skin: ‘I get bored if things aren’t hard’
The singer, 55, talks about headlining Glastonbury, getting an OBE and having itchy feet

James McMahon

22, Jul, 2023 @1:01 PM

Article image
Akala: ‘I saw someone get stabbed when I was 12'
The activist and rapper, 35, on justice for Grenfell, knife crime, Shakespeare and reincarnation

Michael Segalov

23, Mar, 2019 @2:00 PM

Article image
Joan Jett: ‘When I’m away I FaceTime my two cats’
The singer, 60, tells Hanna Hanra about the hardcore Runaways, coming to London in the 70s and hanging out on a houseboat with Sid and Nancy

Hanna Hanra

03, Nov, 2018 @2:00 PM

Article image
Beverley Knight: ‘On stage I feel the goddess that I am’
The singer, 48, tells Michael Segalov about always knowing that her voice was different, speaking out about abusive relationships and singing for Prince

Michael Segalov

19, Feb, 2022 @2:00 PM