I feel for you. I really do. Some of you have had such hard times, it is no wonder you turned to drugs for comfort. Some of the life stories I have been told do not even bear thinking about. I don't think I'll ever understand how people can cause each other so much suffering.
That said, sometimes I want to smack your collective heads off a wall. I cannot change your methadone dose. I am not bumping you out of medication for the hell of it. I am trying to help you. I know what withdrawals look like. We give you methadone to keep you from going into withdrawal. Despite what some people think, I am not simply a legal dealer.
It frustrates me that drug addiction is seen as a legal issue, not a health one, which means people do not get the help they need. It angers me that people go into jail and come out with a worse habit than they had before. People will call you names such as junkie and alkie, yet hero-worship people such as Kurt Cobain and Amy Winehouse. This double standard infuriates me.
But you frustrate me, too. If you want to change, you need to work at it. You have to make an effort and go to recovery meetings, do group work and all that stuff. Do not make excuses and do not expect anyone else to carry you.
The main thing you do not seem to realise is that I care about this, you and my job. I'm doing my best.
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