This much I know: Dappy

The musician, 23, on Googling himself, being a carp angler, and feeling like Tarzan

My real name is Costa. Sometimes I forget to be Costa as well as Dappy – I get caught up. Dappy has a way of taking over my whole personality; my mum's very good at snapping me out of that. I take off my hat and my chain and relax.

I'm down to earth and humble. My friends think I should show off a bit more. I'm grateful for everything I have now and I'm aware that it could all disappear at any time.

Going triple platinum isn't good enough, I'd like to go quadruple platinum. We've sold a hell of a lot of albums over the past few years, but it's about exceeding what you've achieved. It's easy to get there – but holding on to the success is much harder.

I get depressed. I've gone to dark places for days when I've seen our music videos have dropped off the TV airplay charts. Or I read a rude comment about us on YouTube. It fills me with self-doubt.

Some fans have our names and faces tattooed on their bodies. I think it's nice.

I Google myself, but only when something bad has happened. I've reined in my bad behaviour over the past year. I think I'm finally growing up.

Everything I do now is for my two sons. I don't want my boys or my girlfriend to ever have to go without. I've got responsibilities. I'm proud that I can afford to support my family and help my mum out.

Tabloid journalists are sneaky. They pretend to be your friend, and then most of the time they stab you in the back. I guess you can't shift papers by writing nice things about people.

Growing up in a negative environment meant I found school really hard. My generation at high school was out of control. Northwest London can be a harsh place for a teenager.

My dad died for me. It's been four years since he passed. He sacrificed so much to help us. He really believed we could be a success. He'd be proud of us.

I'm a serious carp angler. I try to go out fishing at least once a month. It's all about man against nature: camping and catching the biggest fish I can.

You have to flirt a bit with fans. Give them the feeling that there's a possibility that something may happen. But you also have to keep a distance.

I have a strong survival instinct. Put me in a jungle and I'm sure I'd be OK. I can make a fire, build a shelter and hunt for food – I'm like Tarzan.

I'm not afraid of death, but I am afraid of the dark. I have nightmares where I'm being chased by a lot of people. I wake up with my heart in my mouth.

I'm Greek Orthodox. I believe in God and Jesus, but sometimes have my doubts.

If I wasn't doing music, I'd be doing something illegal. Music and my dad saved me from either jail or death.

The only time I feel happy is when I'm on stage and I can see people singing our lyrics back to us. I feel like I've seen and done it all. What else is there?


N-Dubz's new single "Morning Star" is released on 6 March. Their tour begins in April


To read all the interviews in this series, go to theguardian.com/lifeandhealth/series/thismuchiknow

Contributor

Shahesta Shaitly

The GuardianTramp

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