Phoning down to reception at London's Inn In The Park Can anyone do anything about the wind in Hyde Park? (1987)
On Keith Richards
It's like a monkey with arthritis trying to go on stage and look young (1997)
On sex allegations
You can call me a fat, balding, talentless old queen who can't sing, but you can't tell lies about me (1987)
On therapy
My therapist said, 'I have to ask you: were you molested?' And I said: 'No, actually.' But I was dying to be molested by someone (1997)
On moaning
I used to complain about everything, down to the colour of the private jet (1992)
On religion
There are so many people I know who are gay and love their religion. [But] I would ban religion completely (2006)
On his wedding to Renate Blauel
It just goes to show how wrong you all were (1984)
On swearing about Madonna at the Q awards
That's me off her Christmas card list. But do I give a toss? No (2004)
On his real name
I can't stand people calling me Reg. If people send me letters as Reginald Dwight I don't even open them (1980)
Hearing someone singing 'It's a little bit funny ...'
Not so f***ing funny if you have to sing it every f***ing night (1971)
28 years before beginning a residency in Las Vegas
People say to me: 'Oh, you'll probably be doing Vegas, won't you?' I say: 'You must be joking. I've got more pride' (1976)
On recording 'Don't let the sun go down on me'
Screw this! Send it to Lulu, and if she doesn't like it, send it to Engelbert (1974)
On booking hotel suites under false names
My mother had to say she was Mrs Pussy (1995)
On losing his temper on a tennis court
I'm always having people waving to me, going: 'Yoo-hoo!' I couldn't take it (1995)
On himself
I don't think anyone knows the real me. I don't even think I do (1976)
On 'Your Song'
It was written in five minutes and recorded in two (1986)
