France and Portugal qualify for 2018 World Cup – as it happened

So that’s the Uefa group stage done and dusted. The draw for the play-offs comes next week for reasons best known to the oh-so-wise and always sage football authorities who only do things for the right reasons.

Still to come though, is Argentina’s attempt to make it to Russia. The last World Cup without the Albiceleste was 1970 and they travel to Ecuador today (12.30am BST) in need of a win. Rob Smyth will have all the action right here. But from me, it’s goodbye.

Schaar goes clattering hilariously through Moutinho in midfield and inexplicably fails to collect a booking from the bizarrely inconsistent referee.

Sweden launch a rare attack, then take the pace out of the game and begin passing among themselves. Robben is hobbling for the Dutch but with all three subs used by Dick Advocaat he’s staying on, the trooper.

Cristiano Ronaldo is clean through! And makes a right old pig’s ear of it! He springs the offside trap and looks to walk the ball round Sommer but the keeper comes away with the ball.

Sommer saves sharply as Pepe thunks a shot at goal.

The ball zips across the Swiss six-yard box again and Ronaldo is a foot or so away from being able to nod home. Switzerland have been poor since the break, in truth – they’ve become open at the back without carrying any more threat going forward.

Twenty minutes to go and everything seems pretty much wrapped up: Portugal and France are heading straight to the World Cup; Sweden, Switzerland and Greece are heading for the play-offs. And Holland, semi-finalists in 2010 and 2014, will be spending the World Cup summer at home for the first time since 2002.

Shaqiri flashes a shot just wide as Switzerland look for a way back into the game. It’s all got a bit fractious and fractured in Lisbon. And I probably should have picked this up before but Madonna is in the crowd. So now you know.

Over in Amsterdam Holland are creating very little now against stubborn Sweden.

Elsewhere in Group B, Valerijs Sabala has his second of the evening and Latvia’s third against Andorra.

The first Sweden player goes into the book for time-wasting. Lustig the guilty man on 55 minutes.

Portugal win a couple of free-kicks on the Switzerland right, and Lichtsteiner “accidentally” treads on Andre Silva’s outstretched hands as he drops to the turf. A little nawty (and a lot stupid) from the Swiss captain.

Switzerland, though, are probably a team you’d want to avoid. They’ve started the second half well, Lichtsteiner leading the charge.

And, after a fashion, Sweden get is back under way in Amsterdam. From the evidence of the first half, I’d suggest a few sides might fancy taking on the Swedes in the play-offs.

Peep! We’re back under way in Lisbon.

A busy few minutes then. The upshot: Portugal are heading straight to Russia, Switzerland to the play-offs; Holland/Robben need five more.

Babel and Janssen force Olsen into a double save as Holland press for a second.

What a miss! Tete has a terrific chance to double Holland’s lead but sidefoots over the bar from close range.

Ronaldo tumbles on the edge of the Swiss box and as everyone hesitates expecting a free-kick to be awarded, the ball is smuggled out to Andre Silva. He lashes a ferocious shot at goal but Sommer does well to turn the ball away.

Ryan Babel whips in a low free-kick at the Sweden goal, and Olsen is relieved to watch the ball skip narrowly wide.

In Lisbon, Andre Silva crashes into Djourou and escapes a booking. Moments later, Xhaka picks up a yellow card for an innocuous handball.

Unhappy scenes coming through from Tallinn as Bosnia-Herzegovina supporters bring the game to a halt:

That Holland goal is also good news for France, who are currently 0-0 with Belarus.

“Apropos of no football whatsoever, I wonder if your bonus vending machine Maltesers were down to sheer luck, or cunning?” begins Peter Oh (sheer luck, I can assure you). “Allow me to share my vending machine moment of glory. I once found an item hanging by a thread, abandoned by a previous customer. I duly inserted my change and pressed the button for the item above the dangling sweets. Sure enough, as it dropped, my selection knocked loose the abandoned item, leaving me with two candy bars for the price of one. I suppose the Dutch team’s task today could be described similarly. All they need to do is knock down five loose bags of Maltesers with the sixth one above.”

Holland right-back Tete hammers a cross-shot into the box, where Robben attempts a diving header and guides the ball a couple of yards over the bar.

Switzerland and Portugal take it turns to flail attempted crosses into the stands behind their opponents’ goal. It’s all a bit frenetic at the moment.

… Switzerland clear and Joao Mario carries the ball into the box before feeding Andre Silva. His shot takes a deflection and Sommer saves well at his near post.

Eliseu gets one of the most blatant shoves in the back imaginable from Shaqiri and Portugal have the chance to put the ball into the Swiss mixer …

Sweden have an early free-kick and the chance to swing the ball into Holland box. Granqvist nods Augustinsson’s cross wide.

Switzerland’s Djourou clonks a short pass straight out of play, giving Arsenal fans a few flashbacks.

Ronaldo rallies his troops in Lisbon and then his team get us underway. And the Dutch have kicked things off in Amsterdam too.

There’s some lightshow cracking off at the Amsterdam Arena. And a big booming countdown to the players emerging from the tunnel. The Swedish fans in attendance seem to be enjoying it rather more than the home fans.

So there’s excitement ahead and there’s excitement behind. This evening? It seems rather less likely, unless Really Very Weird Things happen in Groups A and H in which case things could very exciting indeed.

It’s likely though that the most exciting place to focus on tonight will be Lisbon’s Estadio da Luz, where the Euro 2016 champions need a win to avoid the ignominy of the play-offs and where I once got a bonus bag of Maltesers from a vending machine during a Benfica v Schalke Champions League group game. Either way Portugal have already outshone the Greece side of 2004, who managed to finish fourth in their 2006 World Cup qualifying group on the back of their Euro success. And nothing will ever outshine free Maltesers.

And later on Argentina have to raise their level in Ecuador:

Then earlier today, Tim Cahill took Australia one step closer with an extra-time winner in their play-off against Syria:

It’s been a busy 24 hours in World Cup qualifying. Last night, Iceland secured their spot in Russia:

Holland v Sweden

Holland: Cillessen, Tete, Van Dijk, Rekik, Ake, Blind, Babel, Vilhena, Janssen, Wijnaldum, Robben.

Sweden: Olsen, Lustig, Lindelof, Granqvist, Augustinsson, Larsson, Berg, Forsberg, Johansson, Claesson, Toivonen.

Portugal v Switzerland

Portugal: Rui Patricio, Pepe, Fonte, Ronaldo, Moutinho, Joao Mario, B Silva, Carvalho, A Silva, Eliseu, Cedric.

Switzerland: Sommer, Lichtsteiner, Freuler, Seferovic, Xhaka, Rodriguez, Dzemaili, Mehmedi, Djourou, Schar, Shaqiri.