Tottenham Hotspur might have breezed through their Champions League group scoring an average of 649 goals per game, but after a scan of the nation's news outlets this morning, the Mill can't help but feel that one or two people's confidence might be getting out of hand. After all, in the middle of the Telegraph's football site this morning was a link reading: "[Peter] Crouch: we're not afraid of anyone in Europe".
Not afraid of anyone? What about Chris Ryan, Bear Grylls or Supernanny? That's without even leaving the UK. According to Wikipedia, in Spain they have a "shapeless, sometimes hairy" bogeyman called Ogro who hides in closets and will eat your offspring just for misbehaving at bed time.
But if it sounds like Crouchie has lost the run of himself then far more troubling news awaits for Tottenham supporters in the Daily Express. Apparently Harry Redknapp has become so convinced of his own managerial powers that he now believes he can turn Glen Johnson into a world-class full-back. Of course, if Spurs get lucky one of Juventus or Bayern Munich might get to the Liverpool right-back first.
Over at Anfield, Roy Hodgson will get over Johnson's departure by doing a celebratory jig and heading out to find a defender who, y'know, defends every once in a while. We'll have no childishness about stories he's out chasing (Rennes defender Rod) Fanni. Best of all, Liverpool even reckon they'll have enough left over to sign Ashley Young from Aston Villa.
Not that Crouch would be around, in any case, to watch that particular disaster play out. Roman Pavlyuchenko's agent has been discussing his client's future at the club with Tottenham's top brass, you see, and claims that "[Robbie] Keane will most likely be sold and maybe Crouch". Aston Villa's Ged Houllier is already waiting outside White Hart Lane with £6m and a small, grubby photo to identify the Irishman by.
That may come as some relief to Keane, since the only other team being linked with him this morning is Leicester City. Sven-Goran Eriksson has already been snubbed by David Beckham, and apparently has been told that the club's owners "want a big signing". Reports that he has also bid for Roque Santa Cruz suggest some clarification is required over what sort of "big" they are after.
It doesn't really matter, of course, since Sven will probably get bored and start looking for a new job before too long, and his ears have no doubt pricked up at news that two positions may soon be coming vacant. The Sun reckons Carlo Ancelotti's days at Chelsea may be numbered, while Italy's Gazzetta dello Sport's front page declares this morning that "The world is not enough for [Rafael] Benítez". By which they mean he'll probably get the boot even if Inter win the World Club Cup.
In other news, Stoke City want to keep Jermaine Pennant at the end of his loan spell, but Real Zaragoza want £6m to let that happen. Wolverhampton Wanderers are contemplating an offer for the Newcastle United defender Steven Taylor in January, and Gary Speed is being tipped to be the next Wales manager. And that's your lot.
