Two by Two review – Noah’s ark animation is a washout

The disproportionate success of DreamWorks’s Home suggests parents are becoming increasingly desperate for two hours of relative calm at the weekend. You’d need to be a fool to shell out £30-odd for everyone to experience this uber-bland German digimation: it’s little more than colours and shapes on a screen. The workable idea of doing Noah’s story from the animals’ point of view is underdeveloped in this redub, which borrows heavily from Finding Nemo for its character design and low-watt separation narrative, while treating us to Chris Evans – and not even the Avengers one – as a talking hermit crab. Ready the bargain bins.