Seth Meyers
On Late Night with Seth Meyers, the host started by discussing the differences between how the Democrats and the Republicans are spending their time. Joe Biden has been busy signing a groundbreaking infrastructure bill.
“Why do they always give the most powerful guy in the world a tiny schoolboy desk?” he asked while watching a replay. He jokes that next time he will be “crammed into the middle seat on coach”.
Meanwhile, Republicans have been busy defending Paul Gosar, the Arizona congressmen who has become the first member of Congress simultaneously censured and stripped of committee posts after tweeting a video imagining himself killing Democrat Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez. He has since compared himself to Alexander Hamilton.
“For one thing, I would be terrified of hearing you rap,” Meyers said while complaining about the “theatre of the aggrieved from the dumbest people in politics”. Gosar has spoken like a martyr standing up for what’s right while colleagues have defended him.
Support has come from Lauren Boebert, who “sounds like a Dilbert character who refuses to get vaccinated” and Louie Gohmert, who, in his defence of Gosar, sounded like a grandpa who “accidentally FaceTimes you when you’re on the toilet”.
Matt Gaetz has also jumped in, saying that as the video was anime, it can not be taken seriously. “No one is objecting to the existence of cartoons in general,” Meyers said before adding: “If you did that at any other job you’d get fired immediately.”
Donald Trump was also interviewed by the My Pillow CEO, Mike Lindell, this week and the pair continued to push lies about election fraud. Lindell suggested that melting down voting machines and turning them into prison bars would be a good idea and Trump concurred.
Meyers joked that it “sounds like an idea that Magneto would reject for being too crazy”.
Trevor Noah
On The Daily Show, Trevor Noah spoke about the chilling story of Peng Shuai, the Chinese tennis champion who has been missing for weeks after accusing a former top Communist leader of sexually assaulting her. Her social media presence has since been scrubbed.
“This is really disturbing,” he said. “Someone speaks out about sexual assault and the Chinese government just makes them disappear.”
A state-run news network has now shared an email, claiming it came from her, which says she is safe. Noah referred to it as “bullshit” and “as legit as the letters I got from my supermodel girlfriend in sixth grade”.
He continued: “It’s one thing for your government to come after you; it’s another to make you fully disappear.”
Noah also joked that if you have a rocky past online, “just move to China and talk shit about the Communist party” and it will surely be erased.
Jimmy Kimmel
On Jimmy Kimmel Live!, the host played footage of Republican Marjorie Taylor Greene, who is proudly admitting that she isn’t vaccinated. “I think she’s lying,” he said. “I think she’s saying she isn’t to give stupid people street cred.”
He moved on to Sesame Street, the “latest thing the anti-cancel crowd wants to cancel”, which was banned from the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC). On Twitter, they announced that Elmo, Big Bird and Ernie would not be invited.
In speculating which of the cast members might be conservative, Kimmel landed on Sam the Eagle or Statler and Waldorf, whom he likened to “senators from Oklahoma”.
Donald Trump Jr has also been selling T-shirts to provoke liberal family members this Thanksgiving, including one that says “Fauci kills puppies.” Kimmel joked that “just because your family doesn’t like you, doesn’t mean I want mine to hate me”.