Jimmy Kimmel
Jimmy Kimmel tore into Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers on Monday evening for trying to hide his unvaccinated status, revealed last week when he tested positive for Covid-19 and missed Sunday’s game.
On a podcast called the Pat McAfee show last Friday, Rodgers defended himself, saying he tested negative 300 times before testing positive, “which is the same kind of logic your 95-year-old grandmother uses to justify keeping her driver’s license,” Kimmel said.
The football star also blamed the “woke mob” for demanding his vaccination status. “If the vaccine is so great, then how come people are still getting Covid and spreading Covid and unfortunately dying of Covid?” he asked.
“Right, right, and if parachutes are so great, how come 11 people died skydiving last year?” Kimmel responded. “The fact of the matter is the risk of dying from Covid is 11 times higher if you aren’t vaccinated. This is a dumb conversation, but you’ll never guess who this wack Packer has been getting his medical advice from.”
That would be Joe Rogan, the popular podcaster and noted vaccine skeptic, who according to Rodgers recommended he take the livestock dewormer ivermectin, which has not been recommended by the FDA and can be dangerous. “Here’s the thing I don’t get: you won’t take the vaccine, but you will take ivermectin?” Kimmel wondered. “Good ole ivermectin, there’s a product I can trust.”
“How does someone who almost hosted Jeopardy come up with 40 incorrect responses in a row,” he added, pointing to Rodgers’ invocation of Dr Martin Luther King Jr: “The great MLK said you have a moral obligation to object to unjust rules and rules that make no sense.”
“But you didn’t object; you pretended you were vaccinated and snuck around,” Kimmel responded. “Always a good move for a white millionaire to half-quote Dr Martin Luther King, by the way.”
Trevor Noah
The latest on Aaron Rodgers: self-proclaimed independent thinker who asks Joe Rogan what to do to his body. pic.twitter.com/BnmvgXKahf
— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) November 9, 2021
On The Daily Show, Trevor Noah also criticized Rodgers for not getting vaccinated, especially after he told reporters in the preseason, when asked directly about his vaccination status, that he’d been “immunized”.
“That was a pretty slippery answer, looking back at it,” Noah said. “This is like your girl asking if you’re wearing a condom, and you put on a bike helmet and are like, ‘Yeah, yeah, I’m wearing protection.’”
Rodgers defended his answer on the Pat McAfee podcast, saying “I’m not some sort of anti-vax flat-earther. I am somebody who’s a critical thinker.”
“So Rodgers basically said that he’s an independent thinker who doesn’t want to be told what to do with his body,” Noah recapped. “You ever notice how all the independent thinkers are doing the exact same thing? It’s not like they’re all coming up with different ideas, like ‘I’m an independent thinker! What are my thoughts, Joe Rogan?’”
“You can tell how politics has just infected the entire vaccine debate, he added, “because you’ll never see Aaron Rodgers doing this to anything else. He’s never applying independent thinking to the rest of his body. Just once I’d love to see him out there on the field being like ‘forget pads and helmets, I’ve decided to cover myself in Manuca honey.’”
Stephen Colbert
On the Late Show, Stephen Colbert celebrated the passage in Congress of Biden’s $1.2tn infrastructure bill. “They did one thing!” he mocked. “After months of dragging their feet, I think we’re all shocked that the Democrats got this done. The party has gone from ‘Yes We Can’ to ‘Wait, We Did?!’”
The bill will bring a massive upgrade to America’s roads, bridges, airports, seaports and rail systems. “Not to mention, much-needed relief to late-night hosts who don’t want to try to make jokes about possibly passing an infrastructure bill any more,” said Colbert.
It also includes $47bn to withstand the devastating impacts of climate change. “OK that’s good. You know what would’ve been better? Billions of dollars to prevent the devastating impacts of climate change,” Colbert added. “This is the equivalent to showing up to a car crash and handing out seat belts.”
Seth Meyers
And on Late Night, Seth Meyers discussed the revelation that Trump personal lawyer Rudy Giuliani did not review debunked election fraud claims before broadcasting them to the general public in 2020.
In a taped deposition, Giuliani said, “it’s not my job in a fast-moving case to go out and investigate every piece of evidence that’s given to me.”
“No, of course not, that’s what lawyers are for,” Meyers deadpanned. “As everyone knows, you’re just the events coordinator for a landscaping company.”
“Sweet Rudy, that is your job!” he continued. “Or at least, it’s supposed to be your job – although in fairness, Rudy looks less like a guy who would investigate a crime and more like the guy sitting on a park bench who just tells the cops what they’re doing is wrong.”
“You really don’t think it’s your job to verify information before you announce it to the world? Is this how you operated when you were mayor?” he added, imitating Giuliani’s New York accent: “Thank you for coming to this press conference everyone, I have huge news for the city of New York: today I received an email with the subject line FWD: FWD: FWD: FREE BONER PILLS FOR LIFE! And that’s not just for me, it’s for life for the entire city.”
